Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The Fall and Rise of Tim

Two years ago I would have to say life was looking good. I had just started dating a wonderful girl, I was FINALLY starting my last semester of college and I had just gotten a job set up for the summer; after which I had found a job back in the area pretty soon after.

As far as I was concerned I was pretty set. Then things turned around pretty quickly. I’ve covered most of what’s happened here and there. I got let go from what was probably the best job I have had in a while, then roughly a year ago I got a job at the grocery store I’m at now, I became single and then got in a real rut. For the past couple of months I feel like I was aimlessly floating along.

I hate the thought of New Year’s Resolutions. I’m all for making goals for oneself but not purely because it’s the New Years. It’s about as idiotic as doing something for your significant other PURELY because it’s Valentine’s Day, or going out drinking PURELY because it’s St Patrick’s Day. But at the beginning of this year I made a goal for myself to stop floating aimlessly and to start making some decent changes. It was a result of a few things that happened at the end of last year. The first thing was that my sister is helping me pay for 6 months’ worth of health insurance. It’s been a big step in helping me realize I have to get things back on track. Another thing was the girl I was dating on and off for a few months at the end of the year. One of the reasons she ultimately didn’t think we’d work out was that I was still at a point where I wasn’t fully independent (or could be independent). While I could argue that her reason for not sticking with me was because she wasn’t fully ready to date, I think she had a point….to an extent.

Even with the two jobs I have right now, there’s no way I could plausibly afford to move out. I could totally go get a full time job at a factory but that would be totally demoralizing. I’d rather stick with jobs in the food industry which is what I went to school for and still live with my parents, than to move out and have a job I hate. For me it’s more about trying to get my head back on my shoulders and figure out what I want to do to accomplish things in life.

Right now I’m slowly doing the responsible thing by having health insurance and trying to pay off my debts. My sister is also helping me figure out a better budget. I’m regaining confidence and self-esteem in myself about life in general (and for dating). I’m still a hermit who spends way too much time being lame at home, but I’m trying to stay productive by reading or doing cooking projects.

Cooking is another thing. My “unofficial” official goal is to cook at least one type of meal per week. I mean obviously I have to cook dinner multiple times a week but I want to try something more major or in depth. That’s been successful to various extents but it’s something fun to try at least.

So while life isn’t as totally well as it was two years ago, I do admit I’m just as happy as where things are going. I’m figuring things out and putting the wheels in motion to get places.

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