On hold!

So I guess what I have jokingly called "Operation: Less talk, more doing" is on hold for a bit. A few of the things I was trying to get around to doing involved certain things I wanted to do with my girlfriend. Only she's not my girlfriend anymore.

I owe it to her not to rant or vent at all on the internet. There's some sadness and disappointment I have to deal with first before I can fully process what happend. I don't know what I'm going to do about any of it. I want to try to work things out if possible, BUT I don't want to get hopes up too much.

So yeah, I know most the people who read this probably got an idea of what happened on facebook-land. I know she knows about this blog so thats also why I'm not going to vent or anything.

Oh well

Baby Steps

Back in August, roughly around the time I started sending out the batch of resumes that got me the job at Salt of the Earth I jokingly suggested that I wait till the end of October to look for a job.

The reasoning behind that was just wanting a break from life. At the time I was in at the tail end of working 9-10 hour days for 6 days a week for almost 3 months straight. Prior to that I unofficially didn't have ANY days off (the last semester of school I either worked, went to school or worked at my internship every day of the week). Likewise there were also numerous things I wanted to do. The first week or so back was the girlfriends birthday AND I got to meet her family, I wanted to hang out with friends I havn't seen in ages (and with the exception of my former roomate, our mutual friend Rob, my friends Lindsay and Patrick I STILL haven't seen a bunch of friends), and just for once I actually wanted to go to visit my sister in Colorado.

Obviously that didn't happen because I have a job and am busy with that. Ironically though quite a few places in Chicago that I was thinking about applying at (in other words I had resumes and cover letters printed out) have posted in various places that they're hiring. Go figure.

Would it be cool to possibily get jobs at those places?: Of course

Do I regret not sending resumes out?: No, as the saying goes a bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush

Am I still going to try in the future?: Of course

But for now, I really am happy where I am. I cannot tell a lie though, a part of me would've loved to be back in GR, and there are a bunch of things I still need to work on getting better at at work; but I like the people I work with and I really am learning things.

And to be honest, I'd much rather stay in the area until I'm sure I'm cut out for restaurant cooking. In the past when I've talked to Chef Dunn (one of my teachers) he pointed out that some people just aren't up for being line cooks. And theres nothing wrong with that. In fact I don't really want to be a line cook my whole life. As much as it would rock to own my own restaurant, I'd be just as content having another food related job and just cooking for fun.

Once upon a time there was this girl I kinda sorta had a thing for. I never did grasp if she had a thing for me, but somehow we got to talking about the physical aspects of relationships. She pointed out that sometimes you have to take baby steps. And its something that even beyond the physical aspects of relationships applies to everything in life. Despite wanting to move away, I think figuring out my path in life is a bit more of a relevent goal.

At this point my baby steps could take me anywhere, and I'm ready so see where they go!

The Beginning of the Rest of my Life

So I totally broke my pattern of posting once a month. But don't worry I'm alive.

Had I not been entirely stressed out by end of the semester assignments/tests, I suppose I could've blogged about the end of my college education. And I'm totally over the "hooray I'm graduated" feeling so I'm not in the mood to write about that. I guess the vibe I have right now is to write about all the changes I have going on and/or want to implement.

Timmy in a Relationship: Part two: So things between me and the girl are going great. We are now in a point where we are officially in a relationship and we're both happy with how things are going. We've been trying to hang out once or twice a week (more if possible) but that has become difficult with my move back in with the parents (I live about a 45 min drive from GR now) and the fact that I'm off of work for the month of May (more on that in a bit). So yeah, we get along great. I feel VERY comfortable talking to her. She puts up with my dorkiness and dumb jokes and my random obessivness (I.E. I know the most random things about the most random subjects) and so I'm happy and she's happy so hooray.

The Work situation: The last day at my internship was Mothers Day. It was a great day to end my internship in that we kicked lots of ass. I got to make almost everything I had learned how to make at my time at San Chez. Also we found a way to implement almost every random act of tomfoolery that had come up while I was there (30 second dance party, the "oohhhhh", The pastry chef (not really) being mean etc etc). I think the only thing that annoyed me was how long I had to stay that day. But it happens. I was happy about my time at San Chez. I don't know who reads this or how long they've read it but lets pretend I have someone who is familiar with my work history. And if you are you've known I havn't had the best experiences in the restaurant industry. But I can safetly say that my time at San Chez had been probably the best and most succesful experience ever. And if an opportunity ever comes to be able to work there and get paid, I'm totally taking it. Who knows what the future brings.

My last day at The Square is this coming Tuesday. I haven't hidden the fact on this blog that I've been sick of the job for a while. Don't get me wrong I LIKE the people I work with and will miss them. I LOVE talking to some of the residents (and have actually had one or two who I got along pretty well with pass away) but other wise I'm totally ready for a change.

The Work situation: Part 2: I can't remember if I mentioned it in this blog before BUT I have a summer job up in Harbor Springs at a private club. I learned about it from my friend Beth who has worked up there the previous 3 summers. Pretty much I'll be the night time pantry cook and will be working with Beth. From what I picked up I'll mostly be doing salads and cold appetizers which I'm fine with. I'm looking real forward to that.

So yeah I suppose those are the major things going on in my life right now. Things are totally looking up for me and I'm happy with how life is. I feel really good about things and am trying my hardest to succeed right now. I'm just taking things easy for the moment until I head off to Harbor Springs. I've been reading alot more. I'm trying to cook for fun and I've been trying to be somewhat healthier so we'll see how that goes

Timmy in a Relationship??

So....I'm kinda scared right now.

Actually lets rewind slightly. Like I mentioned in my last post, I've started seeing a girl lately. For those of you who aren't familiar with me, lets just say I havn't had the best luck with girls in the past, so my basic outlook into dating the one I am now was to not have any expectations and to just take it as it comes, so I did. And its going pretty good.

We had the impecable luck to start dating a few weeks before Valentines Day. Partially because I had to work at San Chez and partially cause neither of us wanted a "Valentines" date, we didn't make formal plans. I ended up going to hang out with relatives after work and she ended up going out with a friend. Fast forward to about 10pm at night she started texting me. When I left I texted to see what they were up to and she said she thought they were going home. About 20 min later when I made it home she texted again wondering if I wanted to meet them at the bar they were headed to and so I did. I went, we talked, I met her friend and some guy that I guess liked her friend (he was pretty drunk though). Later after a few beers we both went up to pay our tabs and started talking by the bar. At some point my hand brushed hers and we ended up holding hands (yeah, I feel like I should be 17 telling this story) and talked some more.

After a while we went back to the table. We all talked for a little, her friend warded off advances from drunk guy and then they called a cab. At which point I went for it and kissed her. And it was fun....up until some guy made a smart ass comment and ruined the mood. ha.

Since then we've hung out pretty regularly. And yes theres been more kissing. And I suppose we're "unofficially" officially in a relationship. And thats what scares me because I've never been in one before. As far as relationships go its kind of unorthodox. Most of our "dates" we've gone dutch because both of us are tight on cash. Last week it was pretty much me hanging out while she did homework at school (and then at my apartment).

We love hanging out with each other, this post is making me realize how much I miss her at the moment. I feel like the luckiest person alive that I get to hang out with someone I relate to so well and who I can feel like I can talk about anything with. And I'm scared that at some point I may do something to screw it all up.

I don't think I actually will. But this is a new experience for me, one that I really like and don't want to fail it. Its natural to be scared. When it comes to being scared about this I like to tell myself a story.

Once upon a time I use to be scared of roller coasters. Especially those that went upside down. Then one day back when I lived in Lansing we all went to Cedar Point. My friends made me go on the Raptor. I was scared, but went anyway. And IT KICKED ASS! Moral of the story: Sometimes you have to say "fuck it," face your fears, and it will be fun.

Updates on Stuff

I suppose I should make a joke about my one post a month streak right now. It seems like the right thing to do considering my trend. I just havnt seemed that compelled to write lately. There used to be a time where I could and would write about anything that came to mind in my Myspace blog (there was a time where I'd literally write one blog a day). So I don't know if my lack of writing is a result of me not having as much on my mind, or what.

On that note, my internship is going pretty well. The staff at San Chez are a great group of people. The managers are nice and per one of the fellow cooks they're probably going to be some of the nicest bosses that I may ever have in the industry. Will that be the case....who knows. For the most part I'm pretty much a prep cook. I just prep basic stuff. While I'm not learning the art of making fantastic Spanish Tapas or anything, its still a great exposure. At the very least when I'm done with my internship I can see myself walking away with a renewed confidence in myself, a hopeful increase in speed and a bunch of wonderful contacts and references in the food industry.

Also I seem to have a girl in my life. Well, kinda. For lack of another explanation I've gone on a few dates with a girl recently. Long story short, I met her through Free Communication Weekend on Eharmony a few weeks ago. Then we chatted some on facebook IM, then we met for coffee (well she drank coffee, I drank black cherry cola), then I went to visit her a work (she works at a book store, what did you expect. ha) and then this past Monday she joined me and my roomate and our friend Laura for pizza. And yeah, so far its going pretty good. At this point I'm just taking it as it come, I'm trying not to have any expectations on where this will lead. Hell, most times I go on a date it doesn't last past date 1, so I think I'm ahead for once. More on this as it develops.

I'm alive!!

I don't know if anybody reads this. If so they've probably thought I've abandoned it. ha.

Not much exciting has gone on lately school wise....or work wise.

I'm just taking lecture classes right now so theres not much worth writing about as the classes aren't even that exciting. Thursday though, I start the next 7 weeks classes. I will be beginning the intense and difficuly yet VERY educational class that is Advanced Food Production. The cooking lab to end all cooking labs at GRCC. They're technically the "BOH" at the night time Heritage. Everyone who I know who has taken the class has pretty much said the same thing. "Its hard. Its intense. You learn alot. And the worst thing you can do is worry too much about it."

So we'll see.

Next week is our spring break. The 6th-8th I'm heading up to Petosky to check out Walloon Lake and Bay Harbor. I think I may actually be staging at Bay Harbor. In the Culinary industry a "stage" is when you actually go work in the kitchen so the chef can acces your skills and see how you get along with everybody. Fun fun. More on that when it happens.

Social wise, things have been getting interesting. About a week and a half ago I went to the BOB. A typical guys night out with me, Zigs, Boersma, Luvva, and Lambers. We made our way down to the nightclub. Like always I was trashed, and like always I made my round on the dance floor. Well things happend, I started dancing with a girl. I have no clue what I said, but I ended up making out with her. Yes, you read that right....this self declared introvert who is socially awkward and nervous around girls, somehow made out with one. So that was fun. I got her number and called her but havn't heard back from her.

Upon telling the story to Jonny he made the great comment of "Its always a good thing when you make out with a girl and don't have to hang out with her afterwards." And THAT my friends is why he's a keeper. Well that and the fact that he was the first person to get me drunk and introduced me to jagermeister

Fast forward to this past Thursday, we went out for Gina's b-day (oh yeah, despite the earlier claim, Zigs and her are back together). We eventually made our way to Taps. I got drunk. (surprise, surprise) and I ended up dancing with a girl. We talked some, I snuck a kiss (no makng out though) and I got her number.

Needless to say I'm kind of on a mental high right now. I think I've somewhat learned that the more you put yourself out there and attempt to talk to girls that the more chance you have of meeting one. Even if it means getting shot down 10 million times.

So theres a new law for Timmy "Try your best to talk to girl. Stop being a pansy"

That is all