Five Years from now (or maybe not)

So last night I went out to the apartments to go to the bonfire. Most of the kitchen staff as well as the managers live out there. The last time I went out Chef was out there (but left right as I got there) as well as one of the ladies who work at U-21 (Under 21, named for it being geared towards younger folk). This week it was pretty much just the night staff (minus Giles, the night sous chef)

It was actually pretty fun. Hanging out with the people I work with (and the night pastry cook) outside of work was a new experience. It was just nice to talk and hang out without the stress/pressure of work all around us. AND it was a nice change of pace from life at Beachview.
Don't get me wrong, I love Beachview to death, but sometimes you need a break from partying and hearing all the servers bitch about things (work, the members of the club, about how hot they get, about who else in the service staff may or may not be dumb).(true story)

Anyway we're at the bonfire and Jeff decides he's going to be Dr. Thought Provoking and asks everybody where we want to be in five years. When it got around to me, I answered that I honestly didn't know. Heck, I didn't even know where I'll be in 5 or so weeks after I'm done here. And that kind of troubled me because I know everyone needs to have some sort of goal to work toward. In work, in life, in play, for anything I suppose. And I felt bad for not really thinking that far ahead
　
When push comes to shove I know what I'd like to be doing. In a perfect world I'd like to be well on my way to working my way up the ranks in a kitchen to eventually becoming at the very least a sous chef. I'd also like to be putting the wheels in motion to opening my own low key restaurant. Either some sort of Asian cuisine (currently I'm reading the Momofuku cookbook for like the 3rd time and I'm getting a culinary boner. ha), an Italian/Spanish/Mediterranean cuisine, or the cop out of "American Regional" cuisine. I'd also like to have the Momofuku/Au Pied De Conchon vibe going for it (in terms of it being not pretentious or not having a high end vibe going for it).

I don't know why I feel uncomfortable telling people that. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I self admittedly still kind of suck. I mean I know the basics pretty well. For the most part I'm pretty serious about my job. I can cook pretty well at home and for others. But I have to work on my speed and working cleanly when I'm at work. Oh and I have to work on my common sense sometimes too. So it feels weird having high ambitions when I have alot to work on.

I think its also due to insecurities I still have tucked away from when I was younger. As hard as it is to believe, growing up I was dorky (okay, that's not hard to believe), shy, kind of socially awkward and didn't always fit in. It got better as I got older but when I was younger there weren't too many people I was super close friends with. When I did try to share some of my aspirations with people they tended to make fun of me. In retrospect, I think it may have just been the regular ribbing people give each other about things (I.E. Calling someone who wants to be a basketball player Michael Jordan.....or do people now get called Lebron James?). Regardless I never really felt comfortable sharing my aspirations with people.

My back-up plan at the very least is to find a job at a low key restaurant/bakery/cafe/catering company/whatever in a decent sized city, keep my head down, work my ass off and then get a foot in the door of writing. As is evident by some of the blog entries I write, I LOVE to write and am pretty decent at it. I don't know if I'd want to do restaurant reviews forever, but I'd be open to doing informational and opinion articles. Actually, I'd probably try to do food writing even if I did open my own place. So regardless I'm going to put the wheels for writing in motion.

No matter what I do, I AM starting to narrow down where I a want to go after here (working at the club). I haven't hidden the fact I want to go back to school for additional schooling. Maybe a bachelors, maybe just to learn more about the aspects of the industry I'm unfamiliar with (baking, pastries and if I can find someplace that has a class: butchering), maybe to go someplace and take writing classes. So I want to end up someplace with a decent school for what I want to go for. Likewise I also want to end up someplace with good restaurants. Partially to eat at, but also partially so I can beg my way in to work for free if needs be to learn more. (in addition to any normal job I have).

So yeah, that's that. That's my rant on where I want to be an my inability to tell people. I wasn't expecting to have that conversation last night. But regardless it was still nice to hang out with the cooks.

(on a brighter note, Jeff became slightly less thought provoking afterwards by talking some good natured crap about his roommate. haha)

Looking Forward

So the other day someone pointed out that we passed the halfway point of the summer. The first week I was here, the halfway point seemed like it would take forever to get to and now it seems like no time has passed at all.

It's kind of a bittersweet feeling. Not only is this all going to end soon. My job, my living situation, lving in this nice town, hanging with my co-workers....everything; but it also means I have to start figureing out the post job work situation.

Just leaving here is starting to look like its going to be kind of depressing. People who are keeping score at home know that I have a knack of becoming really attached to the people I work with (well except for at the Square apparently). It no different here, I really am starting to love to death all the people I work with and really enjoy hanging out with them and would love to be able to continue to have a friendship with them.

The thing is that unlike about 90% of the people who work here, coming back to work next summer isn't a totally convinient thing for me. Yeah I could go work at another seasonal club that runs through the fall/winter/spring months that would be done next summer and come back here. But I don't want to have a life of pretty much being a hermit.

On the other hand if I were to go get a permanent (until I quit or get go) job in the food industry I'd doubt they'd be fine with me saying "oh hey, I'm leaving for 3 months to go work a seasonal job"

So in otherwords its looking like after Harbor Springs, I won't be seeing EVERYBODY on a regular basis at the same time for a while. bleh

The next thing bothering me is where the heck do I go to look for a job? I've decided that I really do want to get out of Michigan just to have a taste of the country/world. Don't get me wrong, giving the right job I'd stay in Michigan if needs be, but I really do want to get out.

The thing is that unlike last year at this time when I was asking myself this same question, I now have a girlfriend. I hate bringing this up like this because she does know (and sometimes reads) about this blog and don't want her to think I'm looking at her like a hinderance.

Last year at this time I was talking about (and was semi-serious) about looking at such places as Las Vegas, and Portland, maybe NYC or DC. And then of course Chicago or Clevland.

For a while I really did have a culinary boner (thanks Andrew from Top Chef: Chicago for coining that phrase) for Vegas and Portland, and after visiting Steve in NYC last winter, I've come to the conclusion it doesn't seem so bad. The thing would be being in an even MORE long distance relatonship with my girlfriend.

On the one hand, I don't want to say don't move far away because of the relationship and then in a decade or so look back and say "What if?" I may not be a genious, but I have made plenty of decisions based on what other people thought and/or pressured me to do and then resented the decision in the future. Upon bringing it up I've has many people say "you don't want to move far away" because of the relationship. But at the same time I've always had this urging to move far away and would feel terrible if turned down the possibility to.


On the other hand, I don't want to move far away and have the relationship suffer because of it. I would feel terrible if it did and I don't think it would be fair to either of us.

Or the possibility of a kick ass job in Michigan or Cleveland or Chicago could come up and then I won't have this problem. In which case "screw it!" haha.

So yeah thats my slightly ocd thoughts on the matter. Once again sorry to my girlfriend if she reads this. I don't want it to seem like I'm talking relationship matters "behind your back," its just how I process things somehow.

Bleh. Decisions, Decisions.

Week 1 at the Club

So for the most part life working at the club is going okay I suppose. My mind/emotions are kind of going crazy from the one-two-three punch of getting used to living in a new place and new people, getting used to a job, and being home sick. At first I kinda sat around being mopey but I've been trying to do things to keep busy.

The second day here my phone broke and that DEFINATELY didn't help things. Those few days figuring things out were hectic and stressful. Luckily things worked out. My mom got my account transfered to her old phone and then transfered the address book from my old phone on to it. And then when/if I get my blackberry fixed I can transfer it back. I tried turning it on the other day and it worked and the buttons seemed to work. But I may just have my parents take it to the Sprint store they go after they visit just to get it checked out.

Work is good. Things are kind of slow right now but thats just because its the beginning of the summer. Sometime late June/Early July things are supposed to really pick up and then things get crazy. And then towards mid-August they get slow again. I work nights with Beth (one of my friends from school who got me the job) and we do salads and cold appetizers. And then we're also responsible prepping any items needed for it. Except for the appetizer and the cold entree, our menu stays the same. (the hot side and then our appetizer and entree changes every day). So with me its just a matter of learning what goes in what salad and then working on going faster.

The people I live with are nice. For the most part everyone hangs out with everyone. I live at the big staff house called Beachview. Named for the fact that the main beach of Harbor Springs is right across the road. Its a big 3 story victorian house. The girls live on the third floor. The guys live on the second and then the first floor and basement are social areas. The downside is that everything in Harbor Springs closes pretty early so all we're doing at this point is hanging out around the house and drinking. Except for this past Wednesday I havn't drank much though. I'm sure once we get paid in 2 weeks we'll venture out more but otherwise we're trying to spend as little money as possible.

Things with Audrey are going well. Or as well as they can go considering we live 2.5-3hrs away from each other. I've been trying to call her at least once every other day. And then I'll text her or we chat on facebook. As you all can guess the first couple of days without a phone were kinda hectic.

So yeah, thats that. Nothing exciting really other than some of the partying. I seem to have a love/hate relationship with that. I mean its fun to socialize but I've also been trying not to drink too much. So yeah. Once we get paid I'm sure we'll do other stuff though

The Beginning of the Rest of my Life

So I totally broke my pattern of posting once a month. But don't worry I'm alive.

Had I not been entirely stressed out by end of the semester assignments/tests, I suppose I could've blogged about the end of my college education. And I'm totally over the "hooray I'm graduated" feeling so I'm not in the mood to write about that. I guess the vibe I have right now is to write about all the changes I have going on and/or want to implement.

Timmy in a Relationship: Part two: So things between me and the girl are going great. We are now in a point where we are officially in a relationship and we're both happy with how things are going. We've been trying to hang out once or twice a week (more if possible) but that has become difficult with my move back in with the parents (I live about a 45 min drive from GR now) and the fact that I'm off of work for the month of May (more on that in a bit). So yeah, we get along great. I feel VERY comfortable talking to her. She puts up with my dorkiness and dumb jokes and my random obessivness (I.E. I know the most random things about the most random subjects) and so I'm happy and she's happy so hooray.

The Work situation: The last day at my internship was Mothers Day. It was a great day to end my internship in that we kicked lots of ass. I got to make almost everything I had learned how to make at my time at San Chez. Also we found a way to implement almost every random act of tomfoolery that had come up while I was there (30 second dance party, the "oohhhhh", The pastry chef (not really) being mean etc etc). I think the only thing that annoyed me was how long I had to stay that day. But it happens. I was happy about my time at San Chez. I don't know who reads this or how long they've read it but lets pretend I have someone who is familiar with my work history. And if you are you've known I havn't had the best experiences in the restaurant industry. But I can safetly say that my time at San Chez had been probably the best and most succesful experience ever. And if an opportunity ever comes to be able to work there and get paid, I'm totally taking it. Who knows what the future brings.

My last day at The Square is this coming Tuesday. I haven't hidden the fact on this blog that I've been sick of the job for a while. Don't get me wrong I LIKE the people I work with and will miss them. I LOVE talking to some of the residents (and have actually had one or two who I got along pretty well with pass away) but other wise I'm totally ready for a change.

The Work situation: Part 2: I can't remember if I mentioned it in this blog before BUT I have a summer job up in Harbor Springs at a private club. I learned about it from my friend Beth who has worked up there the previous 3 summers. Pretty much I'll be the night time pantry cook and will be working with Beth. From what I picked up I'll mostly be doing salads and cold appetizers which I'm fine with. I'm looking real forward to that.

So yeah I suppose those are the major things going on in my life right now. Things are totally looking up for me and I'm happy with how life is. I feel really good about things and am trying my hardest to succeed right now. I'm just taking things easy for the moment until I head off to Harbor Springs. I've been reading alot more. I'm trying to cook for fun and I've been trying to be somewhat healthier so we'll see how that goes

Timmy in a Relationship??

So....I'm kinda scared right now.

Actually lets rewind slightly. Like I mentioned in my last post, I've started seeing a girl lately. For those of you who aren't familiar with me, lets just say I havn't had the best luck with girls in the past, so my basic outlook into dating the one I am now was to not have any expectations and to just take it as it comes, so I did. And its going pretty good.

We had the impecable luck to start dating a few weeks before Valentines Day. Partially because I had to work at San Chez and partially cause neither of us wanted a "Valentines" date, we didn't make formal plans. I ended up going to hang out with relatives after work and she ended up going out with a friend. Fast forward to about 10pm at night she started texting me. When I left I texted to see what they were up to and she said she thought they were going home. About 20 min later when I made it home she texted again wondering if I wanted to meet them at the bar they were headed to and so I did. I went, we talked, I met her friend and some guy that I guess liked her friend (he was pretty drunk though). Later after a few beers we both went up to pay our tabs and started talking by the bar. At some point my hand brushed hers and we ended up holding hands (yeah, I feel like I should be 17 telling this story) and talked some more.

After a while we went back to the table. We all talked for a little, her friend warded off advances from drunk guy and then they called a cab. At which point I went for it and kissed her. And it was fun....up until some guy made a smart ass comment and ruined the mood. ha.

Since then we've hung out pretty regularly. And yes theres been more kissing. And I suppose we're "unofficially" officially in a relationship. And thats what scares me because I've never been in one before. As far as relationships go its kind of unorthodox. Most of our "dates" we've gone dutch because both of us are tight on cash. Last week it was pretty much me hanging out while she did homework at school (and then at my apartment).

We love hanging out with each other, this post is making me realize how much I miss her at the moment. I feel like the luckiest person alive that I get to hang out with someone I relate to so well and who I can feel like I can talk about anything with. And I'm scared that at some point I may do something to screw it all up.

I don't think I actually will. But this is a new experience for me, one that I really like and don't want to fail it. Its natural to be scared. When it comes to being scared about this I like to tell myself a story.

Once upon a time I use to be scared of roller coasters. Especially those that went upside down. Then one day back when I lived in Lansing we all went to Cedar Point. My friends made me go on the Raptor. I was scared, but went anyway. And IT KICKED ASS! Moral of the story: Sometimes you have to say "fuck it," face your fears, and it will be fun.

Updates on Stuff

I suppose I should make a joke about my one post a month streak right now. It seems like the right thing to do considering my trend. I just havnt seemed that compelled to write lately. There used to be a time where I could and would write about anything that came to mind in my Myspace blog (there was a time where I'd literally write one blog a day). So I don't know if my lack of writing is a result of me not having as much on my mind, or what.

On that note, my internship is going pretty well. The staff at San Chez are a great group of people. The managers are nice and per one of the fellow cooks they're probably going to be some of the nicest bosses that I may ever have in the industry. Will that be the case....who knows. For the most part I'm pretty much a prep cook. I just prep basic stuff. While I'm not learning the art of making fantastic Spanish Tapas or anything, its still a great exposure. At the very least when I'm done with my internship I can see myself walking away with a renewed confidence in myself, a hopeful increase in speed and a bunch of wonderful contacts and references in the food industry.

Also I seem to have a girl in my life. Well, kinda. For lack of another explanation I've gone on a few dates with a girl recently. Long story short, I met her through Free Communication Weekend on Eharmony a few weeks ago. Then we chatted some on facebook IM, then we met for coffee (well she drank coffee, I drank black cherry cola), then I went to visit her a work (she works at a book store, what did you expect. ha) and then this past Monday she joined me and my roomate and our friend Laura for pizza. And yeah, so far its going pretty good. At this point I'm just taking it as it come, I'm trying not to have any expectations on where this will lead. Hell, most times I go on a date it doesn't last past date 1, so I think I'm ahead for once. More on this as it develops.

January Update

So I guess I'm still on the one post a month fix. ha. Like always I havn't had much to write about. I've gotten the wheels moving on a few things so hope stuff will change

As far as school goes, its pretty much my last semester before being able to graduate with an associates in Culinary Management. Its been a hell of a journey that technically started in 2001. And it will be a holy shit moment when its over. I originally was going to take the final two classes I needed to also graduate with a degree in Baking and Pastry arts, but I changed my mind. (again). Currently I'm taking the class that I need to take in concordence with my co-op work requirement, then the second half of the semester I'm taking a lab on "Culinary Competitions" and then a lecture on being a Personal/Private Chef. The Personal/Private Chef class is self explanatory. Its a side of the industry that is sometimes over looked. Culinary Competitions is one I went back and forth on. In the grand scheme of things I'm not sure if I feel compelled to enter alot of competitions in the future, BUT in theory it will hopefully help with my speed and organization which in the long run will help. So hope I can get ahead that way.

The work situation has gone back and forth for a while. I ended up not getting the job at JW (The hotel I mentioned last entry). It sucked, I'm over it. blah blah blah. A few weeks ago I actually got a job at a breakfast/lunch place that my family goes to alot. But that fell through too. Not so much due to anything I did or didn't do. Mostly because the owner/kitchen manager wasn't sure if she could give me full time enough of a schedule. She also felt that it would be hard to give me one on one time and that as small as the restaurant was (both size wise and business wise), that I'd be in the way just doing prep. So I amicable quit (she gave me the option to if I wanted). Finally I (hopefully) hit the jackpot by landing an (unpaid) internship at a place called San Chez Bistro.

San Chez is a Spanish Tapas restaurant here in GR that is owned by one of my teachers. I had inquired about the possibility of interning before I got the job at the breakfast/lunch place. Then when it fell through my teacher said if I was still interested to email the Executive Chef. I did, we met, and then I walked out with an internship. That starts next Friday so it should be interesting.

Currently I have kinda crappy hours at The Square. I'm supposed to start getting more hours next week (the week of the 25th). I'm pushing for him to at least give me 24 b/c its the only way I can afford to stay in GR AND work an unpaid internship. So we'll see.

So thats a bit of a brief update on life. Nothing exciting. Hopefully the internship will give me a few interesting things to write about.