Five Years from now (or maybe not)

So last night I went out to the apartments to go to the bonfire. Most of the kitchen staff as well as the managers live out there. The last time I went out Chef was out there (but left right as I got there) as well as one of the ladies who work at U-21 (Under 21, named for it being geared towards younger folk). This week it was pretty much just the night staff (minus Giles, the night sous chef)

It was actually pretty fun. Hanging out with the people I work with (and the night pastry cook) outside of work was a new experience. It was just nice to talk and hang out without the stress/pressure of work all around us. AND it was a nice change of pace from life at Beachview.
Don't get me wrong, I love Beachview to death, but sometimes you need a break from partying and hearing all the servers bitch about things (work, the members of the club, about how hot they get, about who else in the service staff may or may not be dumb).(true story)

Anyway we're at the bonfire and Jeff decides he's going to be Dr. Thought Provoking and asks everybody where we want to be in five years. When it got around to me, I answered that I honestly didn't know. Heck, I didn't even know where I'll be in 5 or so weeks after I'm done here. And that kind of troubled me because I know everyone needs to have some sort of goal to work toward. In work, in life, in play, for anything I suppose. And I felt bad for not really thinking that far ahead
　
When push comes to shove I know what I'd like to be doing. In a perfect world I'd like to be well on my way to working my way up the ranks in a kitchen to eventually becoming at the very least a sous chef. I'd also like to be putting the wheels in motion to opening my own low key restaurant. Either some sort of Asian cuisine (currently I'm reading the Momofuku cookbook for like the 3rd time and I'm getting a culinary boner. ha), an Italian/Spanish/Mediterranean cuisine, or the cop out of "American Regional" cuisine. I'd also like to have the Momofuku/Au Pied De Conchon vibe going for it (in terms of it being not pretentious or not having a high end vibe going for it).

I don't know why I feel uncomfortable telling people that. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I self admittedly still kind of suck. I mean I know the basics pretty well. For the most part I'm pretty serious about my job. I can cook pretty well at home and for others. But I have to work on my speed and working cleanly when I'm at work. Oh and I have to work on my common sense sometimes too. So it feels weird having high ambitions when I have alot to work on.

I think its also due to insecurities I still have tucked away from when I was younger. As hard as it is to believe, growing up I was dorky (okay, that's not hard to believe), shy, kind of socially awkward and didn't always fit in. It got better as I got older but when I was younger there weren't too many people I was super close friends with. When I did try to share some of my aspirations with people they tended to make fun of me. In retrospect, I think it may have just been the regular ribbing people give each other about things (I.E. Calling someone who wants to be a basketball player Michael Jordan.....or do people now get called Lebron James?). Regardless I never really felt comfortable sharing my aspirations with people.

My back-up plan at the very least is to find a job at a low key restaurant/bakery/cafe/catering company/whatever in a decent sized city, keep my head down, work my ass off and then get a foot in the door of writing. As is evident by some of the blog entries I write, I LOVE to write and am pretty decent at it. I don't know if I'd want to do restaurant reviews forever, but I'd be open to doing informational and opinion articles. Actually, I'd probably try to do food writing even if I did open my own place. So regardless I'm going to put the wheels for writing in motion.

No matter what I do, I AM starting to narrow down where I a want to go after here (working at the club). I haven't hidden the fact I want to go back to school for additional schooling. Maybe a bachelors, maybe just to learn more about the aspects of the industry I'm unfamiliar with (baking, pastries and if I can find someplace that has a class: butchering), maybe to go someplace and take writing classes. So I want to end up someplace with a decent school for what I want to go for. Likewise I also want to end up someplace with good restaurants. Partially to eat at, but also partially so I can beg my way in to work for free if needs be to learn more. (in addition to any normal job I have).

So yeah, that's that. That's my rant on where I want to be an my inability to tell people. I wasn't expecting to have that conversation last night. But regardless it was still nice to hang out with the cooks.

(on a brighter note, Jeff became slightly less thought provoking afterwards by talking some good natured crap about his roommate. haha)

End of the Semester!

So I finished the semester last week and with the exception of work (and some yard work for the parents), I've spent the past 5 days doing nothing. I'm really at a loss at what to write right now. Pretty much it came down to copying and pasting the Facebook note I wrote about the Blind Basket or my obsevation on Flay and Bourdain. I figured that I would re-post the Blind Baskte on to shed some closure on all the posts I'd made about school.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

for those of you who don't know I had my practical exam last night. It was hectic and kinda stressful and exhilarating and exciting all at the same time.

It was like an episode of Chopped (kinda). We go in, Cheff Dunn gives us our items that we have no idea of what they are ahead of time and then are let loose. It went great. I probably could've worked cleaner and been more organized. But thats me. My whole life is perpetually slightly untidy so yeah.

Our items were 1 chicken breast, 1 duck breast, a fillet of fish (I totally forgot what kind it was), 2 grains from the grain cart and half a tomato (they were left over from the graduation dinner and chef wanted to get rid of them I guess). And at least an ounce of cheese.

For my soup I ended up doing the Vegan Miso soup like I did last time. I didn't see any leeks in the walk in when I first ran in (my original idea was to do vicyssoise), so I figured why mess with a good thing. IT wasn't until I had gotten well underway with it that I went in the walk in looking for cucumbers for the original plan for my salad that I saw leeks and got kind of mad at myself for missing them. But it happens. Regardless, I knocked out the soup but didn't really do a garnish other than chopped chives (most which splashed out en route to chef :(.

My salad I ended up doing a duck salad. I chopped up the tomato to serve as the base. then put mixed greens in a red wine vinagerette. I origininally was going to smoke the duck breast but I kinda lit the smoker on fire. No seriously, I opened it up and there was a small little fire down by the wood chips. Luckily for me, one of the adujunct staff members was in the kitchen putting together a hoers douveres menu and she helped me put it out (so to my knowledge chef never found out). In stead I ended up slicing the duck meat and sauteeing it then putting it on the salad and grated the cheese on top.

My appetizer I wasn't happy with. I grilled the chicken, sliced it and then cooked the polenta and put it in a small cup. Not very inspiring. bleh.

My entree I was real happy with. I cooked rice for my starch. Sauteed the fish, then made a veloute sauce and put it over the fish. Then I sauteed (and slightly burnt) asparagus.

For my soup he said that the miso soups are normally garnished with black soy beans, or seaweed, but otherwise the soup itself was MUCH better than the practice. My salad he said he liked and that I redeemed myself with my dressing. The chicken and polenta tasted good. He agreeed with me to do a different presentation, to which I pointed out that if I were to do it again I'd probably incorperate the tomatoes in there somehow. The entree he liked. My fish was slightly over cooked, and he liked the veloute. But went on to point out that one of the faults that they as teachers made was that they taught us how to make it, but didn't teach us how to use it. And that most chefs would use it to make another sauce. So yeah, that wasn't my fault.

Oh and then we were supposed to tourne two potatoes but I totally forgot. Oops heh.

All in all I was happy with things (except the appetizer). Chef thought they tasted good and said that since the practice Blind Basket I improved the most!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Overall I was happy with how I did, and how much I improved. Also afterwards I think I bonded a little more with some of my classmates. After he tasted our food we were able to go into the dining room and eat it. And seriously, the 10 or so minutes I was in there eating just shooting the shit with my classmates was probably one of the more entertaining 10 minutes of the quarter. Seriously if this is what my future holds as far as the socializing aspects are concerned (eating and conversing with other cooks/chefs) then I'm totally pumped for this business.

I'm alive!!

I don't know if anybody reads this. If so they've probably thought I've abandoned it. ha.

Not much exciting has gone on lately school wise....or work wise.

I'm just taking lecture classes right now so theres not much worth writing about as the classes aren't even that exciting. Thursday though, I start the next 7 weeks classes. I will be beginning the intense and difficuly yet VERY educational class that is Advanced Food Production. The cooking lab to end all cooking labs at GRCC. They're technically the "BOH" at the night time Heritage. Everyone who I know who has taken the class has pretty much said the same thing. "Its hard. Its intense. You learn alot. And the worst thing you can do is worry too much about it."

So we'll see.

Next week is our spring break. The 6th-8th I'm heading up to Petosky to check out Walloon Lake and Bay Harbor. I think I may actually be staging at Bay Harbor. In the Culinary industry a "stage" is when you actually go work in the kitchen so the chef can acces your skills and see how you get along with everybody. Fun fun. More on that when it happens.

Social wise, things have been getting interesting. About a week and a half ago I went to the BOB. A typical guys night out with me, Zigs, Boersma, Luvva, and Lambers. We made our way down to the nightclub. Like always I was trashed, and like always I made my round on the dance floor. Well things happend, I started dancing with a girl. I have no clue what I said, but I ended up making out with her. Yes, you read that right....this self declared introvert who is socially awkward and nervous around girls, somehow made out with one. So that was fun. I got her number and called her but havn't heard back from her.

Upon telling the story to Jonny he made the great comment of "Its always a good thing when you make out with a girl and don't have to hang out with her afterwards." And THAT my friends is why he's a keeper. Well that and the fact that he was the first person to get me drunk and introduced me to jagermeister

Fast forward to this past Thursday, we went out for Gina's b-day (oh yeah, despite the earlier claim, Zigs and her are back together). We eventually made our way to Taps. I got drunk. (surprise, surprise) and I ended up dancing with a girl. We talked some, I snuck a kiss (no makng out though) and I got her number.

Needless to say I'm kind of on a mental high right now. I think I've somewhat learned that the more you put yourself out there and attempt to talk to girls that the more chance you have of meeting one. Even if it means getting shot down 10 million times.

So theres a new law for Timmy "Try your best to talk to girl. Stop being a pansy"

That is all

The Next Stage

I. R.I.P.

So I did it, I finally killed my Ipod. Anyone who has hung out with me for any amount of time knows I probably don't take the best care of my electronics. I mean, I bought an almost $200 camera and then the first time I took it out dropped it. And likewise I havn't been too keen on not dropping my Ipod. Actually it still works just fine, but the screen is all fucked up. So who knows, I'll stop by the apple store tomorrow to see how much it will cost. Unfortunately I reall can't afford much more than 50 or so bucks for repair (and THAT was actually supposed to be my beer money for the weekend

II. School

Classes are going well. This seven weeks I have the Intro to Hospitality course, a course that you're supposed to take first (which I didn't), Spanish for the Hospitality Industry (Which is something that may help me in the long run) and then English (which lasts all semester). In the grand scheme of things they aren't too exciting BUT, I am learning interesting stuff.

On an even more interesting note I had 3 interviews about possible summer internships. The first place is Bay Harbor Yacht Club, the second was Walloon Lake Contry Club and the third is Glendevon's restaurant. The first two are up by Petosky and the third is here in GR. I thought I did good at expressing myself, and my history and my strengths and weakness'. So who knows, I sent each of the chefs a quick email saying I enjoyed talking to them and thanking them for the interview. So we'll see.

I really like Walloon Lake. I thought the area was someplace I could fit well, and the job sounded like something I could enjoy. Likewise, Glendevon's is a place that would seem preferable. Not only is it in GR which would mean I wouldn't have to move. But it could possibly evolve into an actuall job. And the had a similar veiwpoint that I do about serving simple food that tastes good.

III. Work

Well....not much new on this front. I've become lazy about job hunting. I think part of it may be that once the second 7 weeks comes around that my schedule will be WAY more crazy.

Regardless, things at the Square are going good. I'm mostly just working mornings. Which kind of sucks cause I can't really sleep in. But oh well. It happens.

I.V. Social life

My social life is kind of FUBAR. I WANT to go out. But I can't afford to alot. And I have 10 million people wanting to do things. I am attempting to go on a psudeo date with a friend of a friend. I have Nicoles birthday, The Derby Awards banquet, and a few other things going on. Luckily if the girl I'm trying to hang out with and I work something out it will be Friday. I'm probably going to become public enemy #1 if I say this, but I'm almost tempted to skip the awards banquet. In the grand scheme of things I think I'd have more fun sledding. Theres a part of me that would enjoy the simple pleasure that sledding would provide. On the flip side I have already comitted to going to the GRRG banquet. And there are a bunch of the derby folk I want to see. I don't know. I kind of feel myself being dragged from both ends.

I'm at this point socialy and mentally where I almost have to do what is best for me. Being the nice guy and all is fun, but sometimes you have to draw a line in the sand. I admit I'm not the most out going guy and that sometimes I bring the lack of communication on myself. But I can't just sit here spendng every waking hour trying to fix it. I have to do what I can and move on (thus another reason for wanting to go hang out with Nicole and the TSM/Beat-Ups/Dynaflo crew). Cause god knows once summer hits, regardless of if I get an internship or not, I'm gonna have to bust a move on my education. IF I don't get an internship my goal for being done is Dec 2009. But regardless of when I graduate, my goal is to get the hell away from Michigan.

Decisions, Decisions.

Stuff

So the car ended up costing 717 dollars. Which was about $616 more than I could reasonably afford. So once again I ended up borrowing money from my parents. Honestly, when I graduate, I totally just want to say their present to me can be subtracting the money they would've spent on a gift from what I owe them. I hate being in debt. Thats the only downside I had to quitting Mark Maker.

The plus side of being broke is that I start relativly looking at my expenses. And figuring out what I need and what I can live without. In other words, I look at cutting out all the random junk food and pop I buy myself during the day (mostly while at school). Yeah, I fell off the wagon when it came to trying to drink less pop. But now I'm (hopefully) back on. Who knows.

I'm actively in the process of trying to find a second job. I've been trying to go out to fill out 2-3 applications per day during the week. So far I havn't been keeping up on the "2-3 a day" but I have been picking some up. I'm also in the process of sending emails to some of my teachers. I think the advantage I have right now is that I'm early enough in my food career that ANYTHING would be a learning experience for me. I have gotten somewhat more of an interest in baking and maybe pastries some. Yeah, the big bad meat eater is interested in something he doesn't really like (what next, tackling Vegan recipes?) (yeah, when pigs fly)

School is looking up. And somehow I just happened to end up in classes with two people who I've become quite good friends with. Despite the fact they both graduate in May, I have a feeling they are going to be life long friends.....or at least I hope.

And finally in a bit of shocking (or maybe not) new. My apartment is now a home of bachelors. Yes, Zigs is single now. I'm not going to go into details because its not really any of my business too. But it is kind of going to affect the atmosphere of life now. But you know, I think thats why I refered to things as the new normal in my last post. Fun times

Winter Vacation?

So THIS is what it feels like to relax. After going from Mid July to late September without and job and then transitioning transitioning to having to rush around balancing work and school. Its nice to just be able to do nothing for a few weeks.

My written exams were so-so. Actually I did quite well on my Princples exam. Better than I thought I would. I credit it to the fact that I got my head out of my ass pretty early on and asked Chef Angus for some advice and guidance as to what to do. Like I said in an earlier blog, I think the lingering self doubt I sometimes have is what got me the first time through so I was glad to beat that this time. And with that in mind I'm pretty sure I did pretty crappy on my Banquets exam. I knew going into the exam that I had a low B. So part of me wasn't worried. Call me not dedicated enough, and give me all the crap you want for settling for JUST a B. But hell, its better than "settling" for C's and D's like in high school. Oh well.

The presentation I had to do for Principles went as well as you would expect from me. Which means, mass amounts of nervousness, mass amounts of rushing around finishing it and then an "oh fuck it, lets just do it" attitude about 2 seconds before. But I did GREAT. Not any of the stuttering or flusterness I'm known for when I get nervous. I made my points well. Chef Angus loved it. The one person from my class who I ran into a few days later loved it, it went great.

Friday after the catastrophe that was my exam, I went to the bar with some of the people from school....at like 5:30 at night. And this was one of those bars that was also a restaurant. So let me lay it out for you. 15 or so people between the ages of 21-40 + end of the semester + total end of school for some of them + some of them moving away + oh, the fact that you have culinary students who could regularly fill up a swear jar while SOBER = a recipe for trouble. ha. I had actually caught up to them after they had been there for an hour or so and promptly ordered a hamburger (btw, The Cottage Bar KINDA knows how to make Medium Rare). A bunch of them had had a shot just before I got there and then had another one after I had been there 10 minutes. Then someone may have dropped the f-bomb. And there was a family next to us who didn't really like that. And doing what I do best, I was like "screw it" and just ate my hamburger. Eventually they moved. I suppose I should feel kind of bad. But thats life. The other people around us loved us though, so I think it evens it out.

After we kindly and subtley got pressured to leave some of us met up with a few other people at another bar and the drinking continued. Although then I had to be lame and go pick up my sister from the airport. But I think I learned something that night. That I totally should've started hanging out with Culinary folk sooner. It was nice to hang out with people I felt comfortable with and could be myself with. I havn't had enough of that lately other than hanging with Zigs and G-Spot. And furthermore, being done with the semester and the feel good feeling I have from it REALLY reafrirmed my decision to go back to culinary school. While I've come to the conclusion that I may not become the best cook out there, I HAVE regained a sense of direction and idea of where to go in life.

In other news:

~ I have a fan (or fans). Today at work Peter brought up that he had read my blog and saw what I wrote. And to clear the air, he IS African American. In my defense I had worked with someone as dark as him who had a similar accent and was from Central or South America. But oh well. He gave me some good natured ribbing about it but said he didn't mind.

~Still kind of in limbo with work. I'm waiting to see what my schedule will get switched to once I move back to only night availiability. Should be interesting to see

~ I made stock and then Mushroom soup from the Les Halles cook book. Good shit, I took pictures they'll be up soon.

Wish me luck!!

So here we finally come to one of the big humps in this stint of Culinary School. The practical exam. Practicals pretty much consist of combining alot of the skills we've learned into class and using them in a dish. Back when I was in the Skills class this involved doing all the vegtable cuts on a carrot (and then using the said cuts in a salad), make a salad, make a stock, use the stock to make velute. Bone a chicken, use the breasts from said chicken to make a breaded Chicken Cordon Bleu and then combine them all to make a meal on the plate. Its actually alot easier than it sounds although at the time I was scared shitless.

For Banquets and Caterering its a bit more complicated. We have to make two forcemeats (a gallantine and a ballantine), tournet our selected veggies, pick a starch to "mold" as a platform. And then Aspic it all. Aspic'ing is the practice of putting a geletin on it to hold it together. Its used for display purposes and to give it a shine. In other words, a skill we won't be using much in the real world. I'm not too confident in my abilities of making the forcemeats, I suck at tournet'ing and suck at aspicing. On the bright side, I'm good at everything else. So who knows.

My big concern (aka this is where I get contemplative) is that I can sometimes get overwhelmed which sometimes leads to a lack of confidence. Which is ultimately what led to me dropping out the first time. I tend to compare myself to others in class as opposed to just focusing on my own. I've been getting better at asking for help when needed which actually led to a bit of a closer friendship/mentorship from one of my teachers. As well as becoming somewhat good friends with a guy in my class. I need to keep telling myself "I know I can" and as long as I try my best and am not half ass'ing it, then thats what should make me happy.

Work is going good. I'm getting about 22 hrs a week which comes out to about 360 or so dollars every two weeks that I somehow make last. Damn it sucks living pay check to paycheck again. But thats life.

On the brightside, my birthday is in two weeks. Not only (in theory) do I get to get plastered for free. But hopefully I'll be getting a few new cooking related books. Despite being a big Bourdain fan, the Les Halles Cookbook DID NOT make it on the list. Only cause I know that if my mom puts two and two together that thats the "unofficial" cook book of one of my favorite chefs, I won't be getting it till Christmas (thus why I probably won't be getting Mario Batali's Italian Grill until then). So I'm totally using the inevitable b-day money I get to get it. heh

The inevitability of restaurant/culinsary school networking

"This is what sucks about taking a few years off and then coming back. I don't know anybody and you all know who half the people are in all your classes"

~me to my group partner Steve (during Bakery/Deli Management)


Its a little known fact that if you spend long enough in the restaurant industry that eventually you find yourself hanging out more and more with other restaurant employees. Not just the ones you work with but you find yourself meeting intentionally or un-intentionally other restaurant employees. Either due to the proximity of their restaurant to yours (I.E. back when I was at the Lansing Carrabba's, the Outback next door was a popular post work hang out), or due to the incestous nature of the business (which I'm about to get to in the next sentence). Eventually if you drink the kool-aid and decide you have the lack of sanity to work the rest of the life in the business, these other restaurant workers (especially the ones who also decide to become lifers) pretty much become your lifeblood. I don't know how many instances I've read, either in memoirs of some of the chef's I like, or from hearing from others, where someone has become a chef or sous chef and instantly called everyone they know to get them to work for them. Or vice versa. They are also prone to pass on opportunities, give references, etc etc. You get the picture.

Its much the same way here in Culinary School. Most people (aka not me) start off in the bakery class or Skill Development or Bakery/Deli Management, meet a bunch of people in the class, then switch, have another lab, have some of the same people in their class and some different. And so on. By the end of their first year or so, they're pretty much on their way to knowing half the department. Which works out great as far as networking goes. Between fellow students AND techers its pretty easy to get hooked up with a job upon graduation which works out pretty well.

On the flip side, theres also the dirty realization (at both school and in the professional world) that all your faults or any controveries are also going to be passed around. For instance, my drinking buddy/unofficial wingman Jonny used to be a server at Carrabba's until he got caught screwing with the checks. He would give people their checks at the full amount, they would pay, and if they paid with cash, he would split the checks taking off any coffee's/soft drinks close the non-drink half and have the money go for that, then later he's get an manager to "delete his screw-up" and then keep the money (yes people, one of my best friends was essentially a con artist) After he got fired he applied to Logans and sure enough they called Carrabba's and he didn't get the job. Another example is someone who I currently have (or had) a class with. They have slowly built up the reputation of coming to class in various stages of intoxication and even at times drank some of the alcohol in the walk in. In came to a head yesterday when during our banquet our teacher sent them home. Her problem was so common knowledge that when me and another class mate were talking about it in the locker room today that someone walked in and know exactly who we were talking about.

I think this phenomenon in general is one of those things that is a universal thing to all industries. Only I think that due to the turnover rate and the availiability of opportunities its amped up a bit for the food industry. Its one of those things like our facination with potty humor, and the crazy hours, and our habit of dropping less than polite words and the pressure, that you almost have to get used to. And if not, then you probably don't belong in restaurants. Not trying to be a dick, but thats the way it is.

And like always, this was one of those musings that started off with a thought in my head (aka the conversation in the locker room) and blew up to the blog you're reading now. Fun times