VICTORY!!!!

Very early on in my experiences with working I've tried to have a very good work ethic. I've tried to work hard and be respectful of the people I work with and the customers (when I've had to deal with them). I also came to learn early on that it doesn't always get you anywhere. There were many times in jobs where I asked if I could be moved to another department or get cross trained and was turned down while people who didn't seem to put in as much of an effort got moved up. There were times that I had to fight just as much for hours. I've had bosses rave about how good of a worker I am and how they wish they could clone me, yet scoffed when I asked about having a raise. In almost all of my jobs I got to a point where eventually I just stopped caring and slacked off....well as much as my work ethic would let me.

That has finally all changed.

Recently I quit my job at the restaurant in GR. Gas prices were killing me and I was getting to the aforementioned point where I wasn't caring as much. Also, it helped that I got offered a job at a place opening up in Zeeland (a town smack dab next to where I live). Once again I was dishwashing, but at this point I didn't care. I just needed a second job closer to where I live. We got my availability with the grocery store worked out although there was an annoyance on their part the first day after they realized that two of the nights they scheduled me that I wouldn't be available til an hour or so after they wanted me. That annoyance lasted about 2 days until they realized how good I was. After day 3, they said that if I wanted more hours they would gladly give them to me.

Then they had their first weekend. I try not to worry about what goes on when I'm not at a job. But I already knew that the other dishwasher couldn't handle it. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but during training it was obvious that it was his first job (obviously he's in high school) or at least his first restaurant. Every day I worked that first week I had both cooks and FOH people tell me they loved how I could keep up and somehow I knew the weekend wasn't going to go smoothly.

Enough about that though, things were going VERY smoothly and then about half way through the night the sous chef was like "Hey, we need to talk to you before you leave". I'm not sure who reads this but hearing those words is never a good thing. Luckily he knew what was going through my head and clarified that the talk was nothing to worry about. Towards the end of the night Brooks (the sous chef), Luke (the owner/GM/Chef?) and I went outside to talk.

And they offered me full time!!!

Full time as in a 5 day, 40 hour work week. And a raise to $8. I don't think I've EVER gotten a raise based on ability and working for 40 hours in rare in the restaurant industry unless you're on salary and salary in that business is not a good thing.

Naturally I accepted. Which means no more grocery store. It will make going out on "weekends" harder, but I get a two day weekend on Sunday and Monday which will make planning things with friends easier.

My whole working life I've run with the idea that hopefully someday I'll work as a place where they recognize and reward mine (or anybody's) hard work. It's nice to finally be at that place.

Like I said, life can only go up from here!

The Fall and Rise of Tim

Two years ago I would have to say life was looking good. I had just started dating a wonderful girl, I was FINALLY starting my last semester of college and I had just gotten a job set up for the summer; after which I had found a job back in the area pretty soon after.

As far as I was concerned I was pretty set. Then things turned around pretty quickly. I’ve covered most of what’s happened here and there. I got let go from what was probably the best job I have had in a while, then roughly a year ago I got a job at the grocery store I’m at now, I became single and then got in a real rut. For the past couple of months I feel like I was aimlessly floating along.

I hate the thought of New Year’s Resolutions. I’m all for making goals for oneself but not purely because it’s the New Years. It’s about as idiotic as doing something for your significant other PURELY because it’s Valentine’s Day, or going out drinking PURELY because it’s St Patrick’s Day. But at the beginning of this year I made a goal for myself to stop floating aimlessly and to start making some decent changes. It was a result of a few things that happened at the end of last year. The first thing was that my sister is helping me pay for 6 months’ worth of health insurance. It’s been a big step in helping me realize I have to get things back on track. Another thing was the girl I was dating on and off for a few months at the end of the year. One of the reasons she ultimately didn’t think we’d work out was that I was still at a point where I wasn’t fully independent (or could be independent). While I could argue that her reason for not sticking with me was because she wasn’t fully ready to date, I think she had a point….to an extent.

Even with the two jobs I have right now, there’s no way I could plausibly afford to move out. I could totally go get a full time job at a factory but that would be totally demoralizing. I’d rather stick with jobs in the food industry which is what I went to school for and still live with my parents, than to move out and have a job I hate. For me it’s more about trying to get my head back on my shoulders and figure out what I want to do to accomplish things in life.

Right now I’m slowly doing the responsible thing by having health insurance and trying to pay off my debts. My sister is also helping me figure out a better budget. I’m regaining confidence and self-esteem in myself about life in general (and for dating). I’m still a hermit who spends way too much time being lame at home, but I’m trying to stay productive by reading or doing cooking projects.

Cooking is another thing. My “unofficial” official goal is to cook at least one type of meal per week. I mean obviously I have to cook dinner multiple times a week but I want to try something more major or in depth. That’s been successful to various extents but it’s something fun to try at least.

So while life isn’t as totally well as it was two years ago, I do admit I’m just as happy as where things are going. I’m figuring things out and putting the wheels in motion to get places.

Reboot

Look up top there at the explanation of what my blog is. Nowhere up there does it mention that the point of the blog is me venting about my love life (or lack thereof). Sure it affects me and is noteworthy. Sure it’s worth mentioning, but I’ve noticed that I’ve slowly gotten into a rut the past 6 months or so worrying too much about it. I’m totally trying not to dwell on it. Even though I may or may not be trying to step back into dating I think I truly am just taking it as it comes.

Something I DO mention up top is being a comic geek. I’ve read comics on and off since I was about 8. My comics of choice are DC comics (you know Batman, Green Lantern, Flash). Recently they rebooted their continuity. Unlike previous attempts at clearing things up, this mostly put everything back to square one. I say mostly because at the beginning of the new series it’s established that the heroes have been around for around 6 years. While some stories from the previous continuity happened (like for instance there still have been 4 Robins, and some of the ramifications from recent GL stories are still there), others have been ignored (Wally West aka the third Flash is nowhere to be seen). Regardless everything makes sense and fits in regards to things not contradicting each other. I could go on and on about that, but comics aren’t the point.

The point is that I’m rebooting this blog so to say. I somewhat have a vision of the kind of things I want to write about and the vibe I want so my goal is to take steps to reach that. I took a step back and realized that currently my blog isn’t super interesting. It has the potential too though. While I don’t expect or want it to be read by people all over the universe, I DO get a thrill out of knowing people read and appreciate what I wrote. So here’s to hopes of that.

I guess I want to write about stuff that I proud about sharing. So yes, the fact that Eharmony’s representative on twitter gave me (and many others) a free subscription is interesting. But it’s not something I really want to dwell on; especially if it causes me to be all mopey and it’s not leading anyplace. Cooking and comics and pictures and my smartassery are much more interesting to read and write about.

Going back to the comic analogy for a second; like I said some things are acknowledged and some things are ignored. So I may still touch on my feelings about dating. But mostly I just want to write about my life and where it’s going.

Business as usual: part 2?

So its been what.....about 2 months since I posted last. And things have gotten better to an extent.

My room is clean, and I mean REALLY clean. Shortly after the last post my parents decided we should paint my room which meant pulling everything out and cleaning things in the process. It was a much needed task so I'm glad it got done. Now I just need to stay on point with straightening things up.

Being single again was kind of strange to get used to. I think one of the things I missed the most was just having someone I could randomly text during the day for no reason at all. Within the first couple weeks after the Ex broke up with me we had a dead lobster in the tank at work and other lobsters had eaten parts of him (yes, they do that). And my gut instinct was to send a smartass observation to the ex (which obviously I couldn't). So it was the small things like that that I really missed.

Getting back to business as usual became easier and easier. But like I said in the last post, it obviously wasn't the same as it was before the relationship. And that's a good thing. The relationship itselt taught me alot about myself and how to deal with life in general. I got over a few insecurities and became more self confident. I learned what qualities I like in a girl and what I don't want. And now that I'm dating another girl, its helping me put things in perspective (more on the other girl at another time).

I've been trying to get out more and more. There's only so long I can sit around and be mopey before going crazy. I've gotten a new (new) second job, I've tried to go hang out with John or Lindsay and Patrick or Dflo when possible (which isn't much), and I've just gone to browse bookstores for the heck of it. I went on another vacation, I've read more. I've just tried to do stuff that I've liked to do.

Life is hectic, but then again it always is. That's one of the things we don't realize until we're adults. But I would rather be making my own way in life as an adult than being totally clueless about life like I was when I was a kid.

Business as Usual

So I went on vacation last weekend....to Iowa. AND IT WAS AWESOME! I'm not going to lie, there's jack shit to do in Iowa especially in Cantril where my relatives live. I just needed a break. Not so much due to the break up, but I literally haven't had a break from life since Fall of 2009.

Mostly We (my parents came too) just sat and hung out with my Aunt and Uncle. Saturday we did go see a few "sites." There was a park I always used to go to when I was younger right outside the nursing home where both my Great Grandparents ended up. And on the way there we stopped for wine tasting and then drove through camp grounds/state park. The was a ginormous slide that didn't seem as ginormous now that I'm almost 30 and but I got just as much of a thrill from it, and then I got motion sickness from going on the swing. Fun Times though.

Now I'm back to the real world and am realizing how much I need a change. I've gone on record many times saying that I do have good jobs for good companies, but I really want to cook in some capacity. So I think that's my goal for the moment.

Likewise, I feel like I'm in a rut and being single allows me to look into the possibility of moving to another city. I don't feel like I'm being held back. And believe me, despite what the Ex said I DID feel like I was being held back from ever considering moving. At the same time, I think I secretly do love Grand Rapids and want to end up back here if I were to move away (well unless I ended up in NYC, San Francisco or Chicago....but two out of three of those can't really happen).

So I don't know whats going to happen. I think I've done a pretty good job of pulling my emotions back together and to go back to "business as usual." Or as usual as I'm going to get. I'm never going to go back to what business as usual was before I was in a relationship. I've changed and learned so much since then that "normal" for me is different what it was. And frankly I like it.

I've come to quite a few affirming realizations about things lately and it totally changes my view points on life and myself. I have no place to go but up right now and if it's a journey I have to take by myself then hooray for me I suppose!

Processing stuff: Take 2

I don't know who. if anybody reads this.

If anybody does you may have noticed I deleted the post I wrote yesterday. Normally I'm a big advocate for standing behind what I write and I do stand behind some of the things I said. The thing is that one of my weakness' is that I tend to come out all guns blazing when I'm in an argument, and especially when I feel I've been wronged and have hurt feelings.

As much as it sucked and as bummed out as I was, the break up itself didn't hurt my feelings. For what it was worth I agree that we were kind of at a stand still. I would've loved to talk it out, but obviously that didn't happen. As the days progressed after the break up and I began to process things, it became apparent that it was something she had thought about for a while. And subsequently I retroactivly realised that she had been distancing herself the last few weeks of our relationship. Also she lied to me at least once that last week; twice if you count the last date night we had where for the most part she pretended like everything was alright. I don't care how its justified, I don't care how much she thought or prayed about it, it was kind of a low move. Lying is lying and for someone who I placed that much trust in and who I cared about that much, its a pretty big betrayal.

Call this talking crap, call this venting after I said I wouldn't, call this going behind her back to tell the wonderful world of the internet, you can even call it me whipping up a sob story for people to feel bad for me; but it is what it is. The other day someone asked me what would I do if she contacted me wanting to talk. And the honest answer is that I don't know.

I truely am sorry for hurting her feelings. And in hindsight I do respect what our relationship was and I do love all the memories (despite purging every reference from her from my facebook). But right now I don't know if I'm ready to even think about wanting to talk to her at this point.

Obviously I haven't let go of everything yet. Maybe I'll be able to, maybe I never will.

Bleh.

Moving on

My room is a mess right now. Actually that's not much of a surprise because as my former roomate can attest to, my room is ALWAYS a mess. This mess is different though, the current mess was created one of the last times I talked to the (now ex) girlfriend. It was the monday before she broke up to me and we were chatting on IM. She had claimed to have a migraine and alot on her mind and was cleaning her room to help her think. I knew that the two of those combined often made her mopey so I expressed concern at which point she said not to worry and to not be bummed.

Yeah look how that turned out. bleh. At this point there's zero chance of us getting back together let alone even talking to each other. Feelings were hurt, things were said and now neither of us like each other. It sucks and I wish it didn't end like that. But it is what it is I suppose. I'd like to say that I feel bad that it went from simply adoring each other to disdaining each other in about 2 weeks. But then I remember that it was something she had been thinking about for a while. i think thats the one thing I can't get over. And I can't let myself get consumed by that because I don't want to sit her questioning the last month or so of our relationship

Another kick in the gut is the diassembly of Steam Pig. Steam Pig was an exhibit for Art Prize that was right out side the B.O.B in Grand Rapids. Last year for Artprize the Ex, her friend and I went exploring and her friend and I fell in love with it and Steam Pig came a reocurring subject the rest of our relationship. At first I thought I would be sad everytime I past it, but at the same time its a good memory of our relationship. I have gifts from her that are good memories. I don't just want to throw them all away. I wanted it to stay there because it would be a reminder to both of us of the good parts of our relationship; and to be frank I also was slightly glad that when/if she walked past it would be a glaring reminder of me. But alas, the BOB has expansion plans and The Steam Pig won't fit where it is. Much like our relationship I guess its the end of an era.

The past two or so weeks I've come to learn a bunch of things about myself. I've come to accept some of my insecurities and fears. I still stand by the fact that they contributed to some of my failings in the relationship. I've discovered just how much my friends and family love me. I mean I guess I knew that before, but EVERYBODY has been going out of their way to see how I'm doing and in light of losing that type of emotional support after the breakup, its nice to have people to talk to. I've rediscovered the joy of guys night (especially now that Zigs and I are back to being the bachelors). If the relationship and the resulting breakup was a roundabout way of learning these lessons then I suppose I have to accept that. I HATE that we had to break up but it is what it is.

Letting go really sucks. I have to let go of everything, the hurt feelings, any hope of being in a relationship, wanting to see her smile.....everything, before I can totally be over her. I don't know if I can ever do that. But I just have to keep moving forward and try my best.

On hold!

So I guess what I have jokingly called "Operation: Less talk, more doing" is on hold for a bit. A few of the things I was trying to get around to doing involved certain things I wanted to do with my girlfriend. Only she's not my girlfriend anymore.

I owe it to her not to rant or vent at all on the internet. There's some sadness and disappointment I have to deal with first before I can fully process what happend. I don't know what I'm going to do about any of it. I want to try to work things out if possible, BUT I don't want to get hopes up too much.

So yeah, I know most the people who read this probably got an idea of what happened on facebook-land. I know she knows about this blog so thats also why I'm not going to vent or anything.

Oh well

Sometimes you gotta "do"!

Close to the beginning of June I went to the Saugatuck Film Festival. It was interesting and I'd love to go again but under circumstances. My experience as a whole kind of blew for various reasons. I only got to see one of the movies I wanted to see due to a "group decison" that was dictated by practically one indivdual. I spent more time trying to track down my girlfriend and her friends due to that same individual deciding that one person's feelings weren't as important as the "groups" and I had to leave early to go to work. I could vent about that, but thats not the point.

The point is that I've been wanting to go to the Film Festival for at least 6 years but kept putting it off for some reason. I've always made an excuse for what apparently was my laziness in trying to go. There are many things I keep saying I want to do and keep "putting off": Homebrewing beer, cooking mussels, making pasta from scratch (okay, so I've done those two), going to Cedar Point, going on vacation, and many others. I'm at a point where I want to stop putting stuff off that I want to do.

I think I'm going to push myself to do more of those "I want to do but...." things. I need a hobby or 10 that involve more than reading. I can reading about things, especially food related things, till I'm blue in the face but sometimes you just have to "do".

What am I going to do first....I'm not sure. I saw a homebrewing kit a Williams Sonoma so I may start with that. It would be a great way for me to get the stuff I need to intially homebrew on a semi-regular basis, then I could get better and bigger supplies for it if its something I want to do more of.

More on that when I get off my lazy bum and do it.

When it rains, it pours??

My luck seems to have continued since the last blog post. Shortly after that blog post I had three more interviews; one which offered me a job and another which as of last Sunday (May 1) MIGHT be offering me a job per one of my friends who works there.

Job number 1 is at a catering company in Grand Rapids called Applause Events and Catering. When offered the job, Chef told me that it would start off more part time but then eventually start getting more hours. So far it’s gone pretty well. My first day on the job I cut up and julienned around 40 lbs. of orange peppers, then wrapped asparagus in smoked salmon. Day two I got to go on a trip to the Frederick Meijer Gardens for an event that was originally quoted for 400 (but eventually ended up being closer to 350ish). It was a blast! I showed up to work that day to a scene of chaos as everything was being figured out. Once we got to the event we got around to setting up and plating first the salads and then the desserts. At one point we were all ushered out due to a fire alarm going off which put us behind schedule. Pretty much anyone standing around, whether it was Applause servers, the freelancers, or The Garden staff, got recruited into helping us plate everything. We made it without much of a hitch though.

Then we got ready for the assembly line. For the uneducated, let me explain how it goes. Most times for big events like this (especially with a catering or banquet service) the food isn’t cooked ala minute, it’s cooked (or at the very least par-cooked) before and then gets reheated (and/or finished cooking) at the event. From there we line everything up, plates get passed down, the individual elements get put on, the plate gets wiped and then it gets covered and put into the hot box. It may not sound like it, but it’s a pretty epic process. Shortly after that I was sent back to the home base to help out with dish duty so I’m not 100% sure how the rest of the evening went.

So far I’m loving the job, the people are nice and its work I could see myself wanting to do for a while. It’s not enough hours to make it affordable enough to quit the grocery store but that’s alright because I do still like working there.

Still not sure about any details on the second interview though. A friend from school who works there commented on my Facebook asking if I was starting work there. Upon replying that if I was then it was news to me she said that she saw my name on the schedule under “trial run.” So who knows, maybe I’ll get a call from there too. That’s the point that I’ll really have to weigh two unknowns against each other. I still have no clue how much either job may be able to give me in the long run and for once money is the issue with gas as high as it is. Well money, and the fact that the job situation is to the point where its essentially a career. I’m to a point where I have to make decisions based on how it could affect me in the long run. Essentially I’m to the point where the childhood illusion of thinking you know everything when you’re an adult has been shattered.

Adventures in job hunting!!

My how things change in a little over a month. In the course of about a week after writing my last blog posting I experienced the begining of a slew of interviews, job leads, and a couple of job offers.

• Target did end up offering me a job.


• The grocery store offered me a job.


• I had an interview at a country club (that I thought I did well at)


• I got offered a job at a restaurant that was in the process of opening.


• I had an interview with what is probably THE most respected hotel group in Grand Rapids (if not all Michigan)


• I got a lead and a contact with one of the bigger restaurant groups in Grand Rapids.


• Oh and then my email got hacked by a spambot, sent emails to all my contacts which included my boss from The Club. Apparently he thought it was me and sent an email back informing me that they were "going another direction." (He didn't elaborate so I don't know if it was something I did or didn't do or if another former employee asked for a job before I did. who knows, who cares).
  

So yeah, its pretty safe to say that my luck turned around (well except for the whole spam bot thing).

Ultimately I ended up accepting the jobs from the grocery store and from the restaurant. I'm going to cut straight to the chase and say I've already been let go from the restaurant. haha. I laugh because after The Grille, and my experience at Graydon's I was kind of expecting it. Lesson to all of you people looking for jobs out there. When restaurants open, they overhire which lets them be picky. All that aside, I don't think I would've lasted there. After my wonderful experience at Salt working with local and seasonal and fresh products, the idea of working at a restaurant with crappy pre-packaged mixed greens and salsas out of a can kind of depressed me. So no big surprise there.

The grocery store has been going VERY well. I've always had a thing against dealing with the public. I hate smal talk, I hate talking with people when I really don't want to, and I tend to get flustered and start stuttering a times. But I've been doing real well there. My boss is nice, the meat guys (the meat dept is right next to seafood) are nice and its pretty cool to be working with seafood. I'm trying to learn what I can about seafood and meat and in general, its just nice to work again till I figure out what the hell I'm going to do.

Oh and things are coming full circle since craigslist told me that apparently Salt is hiring. It looks like I may have to go pay my old boss a visit. More on that as things pan out.

My monthly update

I've now been unemployed for two months. Its slowly starting to be at the point where I'm going to beat my record for the longest I've been unemployed. Not counting my first year in college. the longest I've been with about a job is about 2 and a half months in 2008. It was my first attempt at "re-introducing" myself back into the restaurant world. I ended up getting a job at a restaurant that was in the process of opening and the chef had pretty much gone the route of over-hiring and seemingly just randomly grabbing the first resume/application off the pile and hiring the person. Then without really giving much direction he kind of just threw people into the fire. My duration there lasted about a month. Looking back I totally admit I was probably in over my head and as such it was a learning experience for me.

One thing I've noticed about being unemployed is how boring it is. Everyone and their brother always seems to bitch and complain about work and how they wish they didn't have to work so much but I don't seem to be like that at all. Don't get me wrong I'm FAR from being a work-aholic but I can't do the whole note working thing. The first month or so I could still afford to go out and do stuff regularly with the girlfriend and then with my cousins when they were around (which in restrospect is probably why I'm so tight on cash now...oops) but even then I was bored without working. I need something to keep my mind more occupied than it is right now.

The bright side to the whole job searching thing is that I've had a few interviews lately (and have another one on Monday). Its gotten to the point where I'm having to apply at a few non-restaurant places. I applied for the Seafood clerk position at a grocery store and then I applied for the stocking postion at Target. I actually wouldn't be too opposed to working at Target because it means a discount for me when buying clothes, movies/cd/video games and/or cooking stuff. haha

Speaking of which I have been keeping myself busy cooking at home. Most days I seem to pull something out of my ass with what my parents have at the house but I have also been making stuff from the slew of cookbooks I have. The highlight of the "meals from cookbooks" for me was making fried chicken for my parents and the girlfriend. I LOVE fried chicken and the thought of possibly being able to eat alot of it this summer is kind of a draw to go back to LHC. Also I made a pretty good Guinness and Cheddar soup (with bacon of course). So at least I'm able to inspire myself a bit that way.

So yeah, I suppose thats life in a nutshell. Nothing else exciting to say really. haha

A Start of a New Year

So my prediction that I'd have a new job in a month was wrong. Here we are a month and 4 days later and I'm still looking. Obviously the job at the Brewery didn't happen. Since then I've sent out numerous resumes and have had an interview at a bakery/cafe owned by someone my dad knows. Beyond that I suppose following up on resumes is in order.

I shamelessly admit I haven't been working on job hunting as hard as I could be. Frankly after not having a "day off" the last semester of school, then working like crazy all summer it was nice to have a bit of a break. I had relatives in town for Christmas so it was nice getting to hang out with them without having to balance a work schedule. Also with the girlfriend being on Christmas break for school it was nice being able to hang out with her pretty frequently. I got to meet the rest of her extended family (her parents are divorced and remarried so she has four families) and I survived my first Christmas having to figure out presents and did pretty good. In return I got a pretty badass gift from her. AN ICE CREAM MAKER!! Only its not in stock yet so I still have to wait an undetermined amount of time. haha.

In return I of course have to make her ice cream once I do get it. Maybe I'll use it as a chance to try out bacon or prosciutto ice cream.....oh wait she reads this. Never mind. Beyond that I've just been trying to cook more and more just for the fun of it. I suppose the joy of cooking is what its all about. I seemed to have amassed quite a collection of cookbooks and its nice to make things here and there. And who knows it may inspire me to improve on/create recipes of my own. Job or no job I think it would be cool to do a "pop-up" or underground dinner sometime. And failing that just getting a bunch of friends together for a dinner would be pretty awesome.

So life goes on. I'm still alive and ticking. A new year has started and I think I'm going to have a hell of a time enjoying it

Back to the drawing board

My original plan for this post was about having a dilemma about whether or not to take ANOTHER full time job in Grand Rapids along with my part time one. My hours were getting cut at Salt of the Earth due to the fact that frankly no one wants to drive to Fennville in the middle of winter when its snowing for lunch unless they live in the town.

Well I don't have that dilemma anymore because it was taken one step further: I was let go. What is this, the third time its happened now? Its nothing to be negative about though. The managers and owners crunched numbers and the came to the conclusion that one of the better ways to save money (as opposed to losing money) was to get rid of doing lunch all together. Thus the lack of needing the lunch cook (aka me) especially when they're already tight on hours. So I was a casualty of that. I guess I can't be mad. The economy in Michigan sucks and as a business owner you do what you have to do so you don't go in the red.

Luckily for me, I already had the wheels in motion about a possible second job. I don't want to jinx myself though. Long story short its a place opening at some point in the next month in GR. I sent my resume in, the chef emailed me wanting to set up an interview, I set one up for the day after I got let go, and it went fine. Much like with Sote I did an excellent job answering questions and asking them too. I related with the chef quite well and I left feeling pretty good about it.

Now I just have to get past the Black Box on the 20th. I've heard of chef's doing that but never thought I'd be doing one for a while. Its nothing crazy though. He said he wasn't trying to trick us and that it wouldn't be a competition. He just wants to get an idea of how people work and how they cook and what not. So it should be interesting.

Gee, looking back the whole not being angry thing sounded much better when I was walking to my car on Monday. I understand the reasoning and agree with it but can't help being slightly miffed. I mean its not like I still have Christmas shopping to do, and oil change to get, and I have to afford life in general. Best cast scenario I'll have a new job in a month. But yeah, it just sucks.


On a brighter note, I get my new computer tomorrow (or Monday). Woo hoo!

Baby Steps

Back in August, roughly around the time I started sending out the batch of resumes that got me the job at Salt of the Earth I jokingly suggested that I wait till the end of October to look for a job.

The reasoning behind that was just wanting a break from life. At the time I was in at the tail end of working 9-10 hour days for 6 days a week for almost 3 months straight. Prior to that I unofficially didn't have ANY days off (the last semester of school I either worked, went to school or worked at my internship every day of the week). Likewise there were also numerous things I wanted to do. The first week or so back was the girlfriends birthday AND I got to meet her family, I wanted to hang out with friends I havn't seen in ages (and with the exception of my former roomate, our mutual friend Rob, my friends Lindsay and Patrick I STILL haven't seen a bunch of friends), and just for once I actually wanted to go to visit my sister in Colorado.

Obviously that didn't happen because I have a job and am busy with that. Ironically though quite a few places in Chicago that I was thinking about applying at (in other words I had resumes and cover letters printed out) have posted in various places that they're hiring. Go figure.

Would it be cool to possibily get jobs at those places?: Of course

Do I regret not sending resumes out?: No, as the saying goes a bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush

Am I still going to try in the future?: Of course

But for now, I really am happy where I am. I cannot tell a lie though, a part of me would've loved to be back in GR, and there are a bunch of things I still need to work on getting better at at work; but I like the people I work with and I really am learning things.

And to be honest, I'd much rather stay in the area until I'm sure I'm cut out for restaurant cooking. In the past when I've talked to Chef Dunn (one of my teachers) he pointed out that some people just aren't up for being line cooks. And theres nothing wrong with that. In fact I don't really want to be a line cook my whole life. As much as it would rock to own my own restaurant, I'd be just as content having another food related job and just cooking for fun.

Once upon a time there was this girl I kinda sorta had a thing for. I never did grasp if she had a thing for me, but somehow we got to talking about the physical aspects of relationships. She pointed out that sometimes you have to take baby steps. And its something that even beyond the physical aspects of relationships applies to everything in life. Despite wanting to move away, I think figuring out my path in life is a bit more of a relevent goal.

At this point my baby steps could take me anywhere, and I'm ready so see where they go!

Life in a nutshell

I'm alive. On that note other than the girlfriend I'm not sure how many people read this....oh well.

Anyway, a few updates on how things are going.

- The new job is going great. I am working at a nice little restaurant called "Salt of the Earth" in Fennvile. I work the lunch shift, which pretty much entails setting up for lunch. Mostly working the pantry station (salads, cold sandwiches), and then cleaning up after lunch is done. Also I help here and there with prep and then help shape bread dough at the end of the shift. The people I work with are all pretty nice, The Executive chef and sous chef kick ass, and the food is pretty damn good. I'm planning on staying as long as they'll have me

- Much like other jobs there are some growing pains in terms of speed and organization, but unlike other places (*cough* Graydon's and Wildfire *cough*) I have a feeling that they will be patient with me to an extent. I just gotta start busting my butt some more and asking for help when needed

- Life living with the parents is good. Pretty much I have the basement to myself and took over the family room. I had what I jokingly refer to as a nest going. I watch TV on the couch (or on the floor) wrapped in a blanket, then have my computer on the coffee table and whatever books I'm reading on the floor. Currently my grandma is visiting but its all cleaned up. But I have a feeling it will be back soon. haha

- Things with the girlfriend are going good. For her birthday I took her to a restaurant called CityVu Bistro on top of CityFlats Hotel in Holland. Nice food there. Beyond that we've been trying to hang out once or twice a week and have been succeeding for the most part. It kinda sucks living 45 min drive apart, but thats life.

- I've been cooking more and more at home. I have about 25 or so cookbooks and finally have the money to affor groceries (or my parents money) to make stuff. I've been pumping out some pretty good food. One of these days I'll post pictures.

Thats the past month in a nutshell. I'm hoping to write more. I like writing and in light of the fact that I would like to write professionally (or at least semi-regularly), I want to get in the habit of writing more. So at the very least I'll write to stay in practice. If things up on here then hooray.

The Waiting game

I hate waiting. Don't get me wrong, I can be pretty patient when needs be (like waiting for an appointment, or for someone to pick me up); but I hate waiting when it comes to waiting in lines or waiting for something to happen.

The last couple of weeks of working at the club was horrible for the fact that I couldn't wait for it to end. I liked the work, and I liked the people I worked and lived with and for the most part I liked the area but the fact that I knew it was ending and just wanted it to get there so it would be over was annoying at hell.

Now I get to wait again to start my new job. I haven't decided if I'm going to disclose the name on the blog yet and I have yet to decide on a little "code name" for it. So for now its just "new job." I went down for an interview for it about 3 weeks before I finished at the club, I got offered the job about a week and a half later and I was supposed to start tomorrow. Only that didn't happen.

While napping today I got a phone call. I answered without really thinking about it and it was the "new job." For some reason or another the chef had me down for starting Friday and when I mentioned that it was supposed to be tomorrow he chalked it down to miscommunication or something. After getting that out of the way, he then pushed back my starting day to the 24th. So now I get to wait another 5 days. Which brings us back to the waiting game. Fun times

Other random thoughts that come to my mind:

The bright side of this all is that I'm taking the girlfriend (who is actually slightly amused that I keep referring to her as "the girlfriend") out for her birthday tomorrow so it actually gives me more time to take her out and do stuff with her. I still haven't decided where we're going. I was originally thinking about going someplace in Holland but since we have more time, I'm now contemplating maybe going to Grand Rapids. I guess I'll have to sleep on it.

Also I now have more time to work on some cooking projects. I decided about half way through the summer that I want to cook some things from the Momofuku cookbook (as well as other cookbooks). And it would be a sin NOT to start with the noodles. Only the broth for the noodles takes 7 hrs to make and that in itself is going to be a project. It will keep me busy, and assuming I do it right it will taste good. So its a win-win situation.

Finally I've had a hankering to resurrect (or I guess carry over from my myspace blog) one of my infamous picture blogs with some pictures from this summer. I probably won't post any pictures of people, but some of the food and sights and what not from this summer. Hmm...we'll see.

My interesting story (or where Timmy turns down a chance to go on a trail at one of his favorite restaurants...er bakery)

So its getting to be the end of the summer. The time where I should probably be sending out cover letters and resumes and what not. Which I actually havn't been doing. Don't get me wrong I probably will next week at some point but I've been trying to prioritize things in my head which became evident with the resume I DID send out.

Those of you who may or may not have been following my ramblings for while know that I've kind of had a hankering for moving. Why...I don't really know. I think I'm just ready for a change of scenery. I think I've kind of always resented Michigan and the Holland/GR area ever since I was pretty much forced to move here. To me my childhood memories are rooted in Blue Springs, MO a city I probably wouldn't recognize today therefore making me having a childhood connection to anything moot and void.

But yeah I've had a hankering for moving. Late last year I think I unofficially narrowed it down to one of 3 places: Chicago, NYC, or Cleveland. The first two should be self explanatory. Both are fun towns, both are big food towns. Cleveland is kind of a WTF choice. To be frank, it actually does have a good culinary scene. For better or for worse, having Michael Symon there has helped it alot. I don't care if its Detroit's little brother, I don't care about Lebron James or the Cavilers, I don't care that the Indians aren't doint well, I just care that it does have an inspiring food scene (and the Rock and roll Hall of fame.)

Since going to stage at my friend Steve's restaurant last fall I've really had a thing for NYC which leads us to where my story begins: I sent a resume into the Momofuku Milk Bar. I was browsing through the NYC Craigslist and saw a posting for a "Etc position." Pretty much it consisted of doing random baking and delivering stuff to the other Momofuku locations. I sent the resume in, and then I followed up and I heard back from Helen, one of the sous chef's. We talked a little and she said she'd be happy to have me in for a trail, but that if I were to get a job I'd probably start off as an extern due to my lack of pastry experience.

So I told the usual suspects (my parents, my sister, Steve, the girlfriend, and two teachers who never did get back to me) about it. And they all had varrying responses.

My parents pretty much gave a "non-answer." They were happy that I was able to find something and follow up on it. But also they pointed out the money issue and that it would be something that I would have to think about and work on.

My sister pretty much implied I was crazy to think about it. And the she wanted to know why I felt I needed to move. She also thought I was crazy for thinking about Cleveland. And despite not really having to defend myself, I did.

The girlfriend (who for some reason I keep refering to as "The girlfriend"). Seemed excited that I got contacted by someplace that inspired me. But after talking a bit more we realized we were both sick of the long distance relationship. I think she's happy I ultimately ended up turning it down (more on that in a second). Also I think if I were to end up going someplace not with in an hours drive of GR that I'd have to visit way more (which is understandable).

Steve did what Steve does best and gave me the insight from someone in the industry.

And so yeah, I liked getting peoples insight on it.

Unfortunately I ended up turning it down. After talking to Helen some and realizing I wouldn't make enough to comfortably live (or probably even visit home). I said thanks but no thanks. She understood my reasoning and we were both amicable about it and she even said it was cool to stay in touch. So who knows Momofuku may be an option down the road.

So yeah, I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do now.

Actually I do, I have a list of places in the GR/Holland area, and Chicago and Cleveland to send my resume to. I just have to figure out if I really do want to go someplace out of town.

Also this whole Momofuku thing has kind of opened me up to the option of pastries, which I have zero experience with (I kinda never took PAstries in school. heh)

Thats about where I stand right now. I still don't freaking know.

Five Years from now (or maybe not)

So last night I went out to the apartments to go to the bonfire. Most of the kitchen staff as well as the managers live out there. The last time I went out Chef was out there (but left right as I got there) as well as one of the ladies who work at U-21 (Under 21, named for it being geared towards younger folk). This week it was pretty much just the night staff (minus Giles, the night sous chef)

It was actually pretty fun. Hanging out with the people I work with (and the night pastry cook) outside of work was a new experience. It was just nice to talk and hang out without the stress/pressure of work all around us. AND it was a nice change of pace from life at Beachview.
Don't get me wrong, I love Beachview to death, but sometimes you need a break from partying and hearing all the servers bitch about things (work, the members of the club, about how hot they get, about who else in the service staff may or may not be dumb).(true story)

Anyway we're at the bonfire and Jeff decides he's going to be Dr. Thought Provoking and asks everybody where we want to be in five years. When it got around to me, I answered that I honestly didn't know. Heck, I didn't even know where I'll be in 5 or so weeks after I'm done here. And that kind of troubled me because I know everyone needs to have some sort of goal to work toward. In work, in life, in play, for anything I suppose. And I felt bad for not really thinking that far ahead
　
When push comes to shove I know what I'd like to be doing. In a perfect world I'd like to be well on my way to working my way up the ranks in a kitchen to eventually becoming at the very least a sous chef. I'd also like to be putting the wheels in motion to opening my own low key restaurant. Either some sort of Asian cuisine (currently I'm reading the Momofuku cookbook for like the 3rd time and I'm getting a culinary boner. ha), an Italian/Spanish/Mediterranean cuisine, or the cop out of "American Regional" cuisine. I'd also like to have the Momofuku/Au Pied De Conchon vibe going for it (in terms of it being not pretentious or not having a high end vibe going for it).

I don't know why I feel uncomfortable telling people that. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I self admittedly still kind of suck. I mean I know the basics pretty well. For the most part I'm pretty serious about my job. I can cook pretty well at home and for others. But I have to work on my speed and working cleanly when I'm at work. Oh and I have to work on my common sense sometimes too. So it feels weird having high ambitions when I have alot to work on.

I think its also due to insecurities I still have tucked away from when I was younger. As hard as it is to believe, growing up I was dorky (okay, that's not hard to believe), shy, kind of socially awkward and didn't always fit in. It got better as I got older but when I was younger there weren't too many people I was super close friends with. When I did try to share some of my aspirations with people they tended to make fun of me. In retrospect, I think it may have just been the regular ribbing people give each other about things (I.E. Calling someone who wants to be a basketball player Michael Jordan.....or do people now get called Lebron James?). Regardless I never really felt comfortable sharing my aspirations with people.

My back-up plan at the very least is to find a job at a low key restaurant/bakery/cafe/catering company/whatever in a decent sized city, keep my head down, work my ass off and then get a foot in the door of writing. As is evident by some of the blog entries I write, I LOVE to write and am pretty decent at it. I don't know if I'd want to do restaurant reviews forever, but I'd be open to doing informational and opinion articles. Actually, I'd probably try to do food writing even if I did open my own place. So regardless I'm going to put the wheels for writing in motion.

No matter what I do, I AM starting to narrow down where I a want to go after here (working at the club). I haven't hidden the fact I want to go back to school for additional schooling. Maybe a bachelors, maybe just to learn more about the aspects of the industry I'm unfamiliar with (baking, pastries and if I can find someplace that has a class: butchering), maybe to go someplace and take writing classes. So I want to end up someplace with a decent school for what I want to go for. Likewise I also want to end up someplace with good restaurants. Partially to eat at, but also partially so I can beg my way in to work for free if needs be to learn more. (in addition to any normal job I have).

So yeah, that's that. That's my rant on where I want to be an my inability to tell people. I wasn't expecting to have that conversation last night. But regardless it was still nice to hang out with the cooks.

(on a brighter note, Jeff became slightly less thought provoking afterwards by talking some good natured crap about his roommate. haha)

Looking Forward

So the other day someone pointed out that we passed the halfway point of the summer. The first week I was here, the halfway point seemed like it would take forever to get to and now it seems like no time has passed at all.

It's kind of a bittersweet feeling. Not only is this all going to end soon. My job, my living situation, lving in this nice town, hanging with my co-workers....everything; but it also means I have to start figureing out the post job work situation.

Just leaving here is starting to look like its going to be kind of depressing. People who are keeping score at home know that I have a knack of becoming really attached to the people I work with (well except for at the Square apparently). It no different here, I really am starting to love to death all the people I work with and really enjoy hanging out with them and would love to be able to continue to have a friendship with them.

The thing is that unlike about 90% of the people who work here, coming back to work next summer isn't a totally convinient thing for me. Yeah I could go work at another seasonal club that runs through the fall/winter/spring months that would be done next summer and come back here. But I don't want to have a life of pretty much being a hermit.

On the other hand if I were to go get a permanent (until I quit or get go) job in the food industry I'd doubt they'd be fine with me saying "oh hey, I'm leaving for 3 months to go work a seasonal job"

So in otherwords its looking like after Harbor Springs, I won't be seeing EVERYBODY on a regular basis at the same time for a while. bleh

The next thing bothering me is where the heck do I go to look for a job? I've decided that I really do want to get out of Michigan just to have a taste of the country/world. Don't get me wrong, giving the right job I'd stay in Michigan if needs be, but I really do want to get out.

The thing is that unlike last year at this time when I was asking myself this same question, I now have a girlfriend. I hate bringing this up like this because she does know (and sometimes reads) about this blog and don't want her to think I'm looking at her like a hinderance.

Last year at this time I was talking about (and was semi-serious) about looking at such places as Las Vegas, and Portland, maybe NYC or DC. And then of course Chicago or Clevland.

For a while I really did have a culinary boner (thanks Andrew from Top Chef: Chicago for coining that phrase) for Vegas and Portland, and after visiting Steve in NYC last winter, I've come to the conclusion it doesn't seem so bad. The thing would be being in an even MORE long distance relatonship with my girlfriend.

On the one hand, I don't want to say don't move far away because of the relationship and then in a decade or so look back and say "What if?" I may not be a genious, but I have made plenty of decisions based on what other people thought and/or pressured me to do and then resented the decision in the future. Upon bringing it up I've has many people say "you don't want to move far away" because of the relationship. But at the same time I've always had this urging to move far away and would feel terrible if turned down the possibility to.


On the other hand, I don't want to move far away and have the relationship suffer because of it. I would feel terrible if it did and I don't think it would be fair to either of us.

Or the possibility of a kick ass job in Michigan or Cleveland or Chicago could come up and then I won't have this problem. In which case "screw it!" haha.

So yeah thats my slightly ocd thoughts on the matter. Once again sorry to my girlfriend if she reads this. I don't want it to seem like I'm talking relationship matters "behind your back," its just how I process things somehow.

Bleh. Decisions, Decisions.