Hello, My Name is Tim

Business as usual: part 2?

2011-11-09T10:22:00.002-05:00

So its been what.....about 2 months since I posted last. And things have gotten better to an extent.

My room is clean, and I mean REALLY clean. Shortly after the last post my parents decided we should paint my room which meant pulling everything out and cleaning things in the process. It was a much needed task so I'm glad it got done. Now I just need to stay on point with straightening things up.

Being single again was kind of strange to get used to. I think one of the things I missed the most was just having someone I could randomly text during the day for no reason at all. Within the first couple weeks after the Ex broke up with me we had a dead lobster in the tank at work and other lobsters had eaten parts of him (yes, they do that). And my gut instinct was to send a smartass observation to the ex (which obviously I couldn't). So it was the small things like that that I really missed.

Getting back to business as usual became easier and easier. But like I said in the last post, it obviously wasn't the same as it was before the relationship. And that's a good thing. The relationship itselt taught me alot about myself and how to deal with life in general. I got over a few insecurities and became more self confident. I learned what qualities I like in a girl and what I don't want. And now that I'm dating another girl, its helping me put things in perspective (more on the other girl at another time).

I've been trying to get out more and more. There's only so long I can sit around and be mopey before going crazy. I've gotten a new (new) second job, I've tried to go hang out with John or Lindsay and Patrick or Dflo when possible (which isn't much), and I've just gone to browse bookstores for the heck of it. I went on another vacation, I've read more. I've just tried to do stuff that I've liked to do.

Life is hectic, but then again it always is. That's one of the things we don't realize until we're adults. But I would rather be making my own way in life as an adult than being totally clueless about life like I was when I was a kid.

Business as Usual

2011-08-31T15:05:00.003-04:00

So I went on vacation last weekend....to Iowa. AND IT WAS AWESOME! I'm not going to lie, there's jack shit to do in Iowa especially in Cantril where my relatives live. I just needed a break. Not so much due to the break up, but I literally haven't had a break from life since Fall of 2009.

Mostly We (my parents came too) just sat and hung out with my Aunt and Uncle. Saturday we did go see a few "sites." There was a park I always used to go to when I was younger right outside the nursing home where both my Great Grandparents ended up. And on the way there we stopped for wine tasting and then drove through camp grounds/state park. The was a ginormous slide that didn't seem as ginormous now that I'm almost 30 and but I got just as much of a thrill from it, and then I got motion sickness from going on the swing. Fun Times though.

Now I'm back to the real world and am realizing how much I need a change. I've gone on record many times saying that I do have good jobs for good companies, but I really want to cook in some capacity. So I think that's my goal for the moment.

Likewise, I feel like I'm in a rut and being single allows me to look into the possibility of moving to another city. I don't feel like I'm being held back. And believe me, despite what the Ex said I DID feel like I was being held back from ever considering moving. At the same time, I think I secretly do love Grand Rapids and want to end up back here if I were to move away (well unless I ended up in NYC, San Francisco or Chicago....but two out of three of those can't really happen).

So I don't know whats going to happen. I think I've done a pretty good job of pulling my emotions back together and to go back to "business as usual." Or as usual as I'm going to get. I'm never going to go back to what business as usual was before I was in a relationship. I've changed and learned so much since then that "normal" for me is different what it was. And frankly I like it.

I've come to quite a few affirming realizations about things lately and it totally changes my view points on life and myself. I have no place to go but up right now and if it's a journey I have to take by myself then hooray for me I suppose!

Processing stuff: Take 2

2011-08-22T18:25:00.003-04:00

I don't know who. if anybody reads this.

If anybody does you may have noticed I deleted the post I wrote yesterday. Normally I'm a big advocate for standing behind what I write and I do stand behind some of the things I said. The thing is that one of my weakness' is that I tend to come out all guns blazing when I'm in an argument, and especially when I feel I've been wronged and have hurt feelings.

As much as it sucked and as bummed out as I was, the break up itself didn't hurt my feelings. For what it was worth I agree that we were kind of at a stand still. I would've loved to talk it out, but obviously that didn't happen. As the days progressed after the break up and I began to process things, it became apparent that it was something she had thought about for a while. And subsequently I retroactivly realised that she had been distancing herself the last few weeks of our relationship. Also she lied to me at least once that last week; twice if you count the last date night we had where for the most part she pretended like everything was alright. I don't care how its justified, I don't care how much she thought or prayed about it, it was kind of a low move. Lying is lying and for someone who I placed that much trust in and who I cared about that much, its a pretty big betrayal.

Call this talking crap, call this venting after I said I wouldn't, call this going behind her back to tell the wonderful world of the internet, you can even call it me whipping up a sob story for people to feel bad for me; but it is what it is. The other day someone asked me what would I do if she contacted me wanting to talk. And the honest answer is that I don't know.

I truely am sorry for hurting her feelings. And in hindsight I do respect what our relationship was and I do love all the memories (despite purging every reference from her from my facebook). But right now I don't know if I'm ready to even think about wanting to talk to her at this point.

Obviously I haven't let go of everything yet. Maybe I'll be able to, maybe I never will.

Bleh.

Moving on

2011-08-16T09:06:00.006-04:00

My room is a mess right now. Actually that's not much of a surprise because as my former roomate can attest to, my room is ALWAYS a mess. This mess is different though, the current mess was created one of the last times I talked to the (now ex) girlfriend. It was the monday before she broke up to me and we were chatting on IM. She had claimed to have a migraine and alot on her mind and was cleaning her room to help her think. I knew that the two of those combined often made her mopey so I expressed concern at which point she said not to worry and to not be bummed.

Yeah look how that turned out. bleh. At this point there's zero chance of us getting back together let alone even talking to each other. Feelings were hurt, things were said and now neither of us like each other. It sucks and I wish it didn't end like that. But it is what it is I suppose. I'd like to say that I feel bad that it went from simply adoring each other to disdaining each other in about 2 weeks. But then I remember that it was something she had been thinking about for a while. i think thats the one thing I can't get over. And I can't let myself get consumed by that because I don't want to sit her questioning the last month or so of our relationship

Another kick in the gut is the diassembly of Steam Pig. Steam Pig was an exhibit for Art Prize that was right out side the B.O.B in Grand Rapids. Last year for Artprize the Ex, her friend and I went exploring and her friend and I fell in love with it and Steam Pig came a reocurring subject the rest of our relationship. At first I thought I would be sad everytime I past it, but at the same time its a good memory of our relationship. I have gifts from her that are good memories. I don't just want to throw them all away. I wanted it to stay there because it would be a reminder to both of us of the good parts of our relationship; and to be frank I also was slightly glad that when/if she walked past it would be a glaring reminder of me. But alas, the BOB has expansion plans and The Steam Pig won't fit where it is. Much like our relationship I guess its the end of an era.

The past two or so weeks I've come to learn a bunch of things about myself. I've come to accept some of my insecurities and fears. I still stand by the fact that they contributed to some of my failings in the relationship. I've discovered just how much my friends and family love me. I mean I guess I knew that before, but EVERYBODY has been going out of their way to see how I'm doing and in light of losing that type of emotional support after the breakup, its nice to have people to talk to. I've rediscovered the joy of guys night (especially now that Zigs and I are back to being the bachelors). If the relationship and the resulting breakup was a roundabout way of learning these lessons then I suppose I have to accept that. I HATE that we had to break up but it is what it is.

Letting go really sucks. I have to let go of everything, the hurt feelings, any hope of being in a relationship, wanting to see her smile.....everything, before I can totally be over her. I don't know if I can ever do that. But I just have to keep moving forward and try my best.

On hold!

2011-08-01T22:25:00.002-04:00

So I guess what I have jokingly called "Operation: Less talk, more doing" is on hold for a bit. A few of the things I was trying to get around to doing involved certain things I wanted to do with my girlfriend. Only she's not my girlfriend anymore.

I owe it to her not to rant or vent at all on the internet. There's some sadness and disappointment I have to deal with first before I can fully process what happend. I don't know what I'm going to do about any of it. I want to try to work things out if possible, BUT I don't want to get hopes up too much.

So yeah, I know most the people who read this probably got an idea of what happened on facebook-land. I know she knows about this blog so thats also why I'm not going to vent or anything.

Oh well

Sometimes you gotta "do"!

2011-07-04T22:46:00.003-04:00

Close to the beginning of June I went to the Saugatuck Film Festival. It was interesting and I'd love to go again but under circumstances. My experience as a whole kind of blew for various reasons. I only got to see one of the movies I wanted to see due to a "group decison" that was dictated by practically one indivdual. I spent more time trying to track down my girlfriend and her friends due to that same individual deciding that one person's feelings weren't as important as the "groups" and I had to leave early to go to work. I could vent about that, but thats not the point.

The point is that I've been wanting to go to the Film Festival for at least 6 years but kept putting it off for some reason. I've always made an excuse for what apparently was my laziness in trying to go. There are many things I keep saying I want to do and keep "putting off": Homebrewing beer, cooking mussels, making pasta from scratch (okay, so I've done those two), going to Cedar Point, going on vacation, and many others. I'm at a point where I want to stop putting stuff off that I want to do.

I think I'm going to push myself to do more of those "I want to do but...." things. I need a hobby or 10 that involve more than reading. I can reading about things, especially food related things, till I'm blue in the face but sometimes you just have to "do".

What am I going to do first....I'm not sure. I saw a homebrewing kit a Williams Sonoma so I may start with that. It would be a great way for me to get the stuff I need to intially homebrew on a semi-regular basis, then I could get better and bigger supplies for it if its something I want to do more of.

More on that when I get off my lazy bum and do it.

When it rains, it pours??

2011-05-10T12:14:00.000-04:00

My luck seems to have continued since the last blog post. Shortly after that blog post I had three more interviews; one which offered me a job and another which as of last Sunday (May 1) MIGHT be offering me a job per one of my friends who works there.

Job number 1 is at a catering company in Grand Rapids called Applause Events and Catering. When offered the job, Chef told me that it would start off more part time but then eventually start getting more hours. So far it’s gone pretty well. My first day on the job I cut up and julienned around 40 lbs. of orange peppers, then wrapped asparagus in smoked salmon. Day two I got to go on a trip to the Frederick Meijer Gardens for an event that was originally quoted for 400 (but eventually ended up being closer to 350ish). It was a blast! I showed up to work that day to a scene of chaos as everything was being figured out. Once we got to the event we got around to setting up and plating first the salads and then the desserts. At one point we were all ushered out due to a fire alarm going off which put us behind schedule. Pretty much anyone standing around, whether it was Applause servers, the freelancers, or The Garden staff, got recruited into helping us plate everything. We made it without much of a hitch though.

Then we got ready for the assembly line. For the uneducated, let me explain how it goes. Most times for big events like this (especially with a catering or banquet service) the food isn’t cooked ala minute, it’s cooked (or at the very least par-cooked) before and then gets reheated (and/or finished cooking) at the event. From there we line everything up, plates get passed down, the individual elements get put on, the plate gets wiped and then it gets covered and put into the hot box. It may not sound like it, but it’s a pretty epic process. Shortly after that I was sent back to the home base to help out with dish duty so I’m not 100% sure how the rest of the evening went.

So far I’m loving the job, the people are nice and its work I could see myself wanting to do for a while. It’s not enough hours to make it affordable enough to quit the grocery store but that’s alright because I do still like working there.

Still not sure about any details on the second interview though. A friend from school who works there commented on my Facebook asking if I was starting work there. Upon replying that if I was then it was news to me she said that she saw my name on the schedule under “trial run.” So who knows, maybe I’ll get a call from there too. That’s the point that I’ll really have to weigh two unknowns against each other. I still have no clue how much either job may be able to give me in the long run and for once money is the issue with gas as high as it is. Well money, and the fact that the job situation is to the point where its essentially a career. I’m to a point where I have to make decisions based on how it could affect me in the long run. Essentially I’m to the point where the childhood illusion of thinking you know everything when you’re an adult has been shattered.

Adventures in job hunting!!

2011-03-30T05:40:00.005-04:00

My how things change in a little over a month. In the course of about a week after writing my last blog posting I experienced the begining of a slew of interviews, job leads, and a couple of job offers.

Target did end up offering me a job.

The grocery store offered me a job.

I had an interview at a country club (that I thought I did well at)

I got offered a job at a restaurant that was in the process of opening.

I had an interview with what is probably THE most respected hotel group in Grand Rapids (if not all Michigan)

I got a lead and a contact with one of the bigger restaurant groups in Grand Rapids.

Oh and then my email got hacked by a spambot, sent emails to all my contacts which included my boss from The Club. Apparently he thought it was me and sent an email back informing me that they were "going another direction." (He didn't elaborate so I don't know if it was something I did or didn't do or if another former employee asked for a job before I did. who knows, who cares).

So yeah, its pretty safe to say that my luck turned around (well except for the whole spam bot thing).

Ultimately I ended up accepting the jobs from the grocery store and from the restaurant. I'm going to cut straight to the chase and say I've already been let go from the restaurant. haha. I laugh because after The Grille, and my experience at Graydon's I was kind of expecting it. Lesson to all of you people looking for jobs out there. When restaurants open, they overhire which lets them be picky. All that aside, I don't think I would've lasted there. After my wonderful experience at Salt working with local and seasonal and fresh products, the idea of working at a restaurant with crappy pre-packaged mixed greens and salsas out of a can kind of depressed me. So no big surprise there.

The grocery store has been going VERY well. I've always had a thing against dealing with the public. I hate smal talk, I hate talking with people when I really don't want to, and I tend to get flustered and start stuttering a times. But I've been doing real well there. My boss is nice, the meat guys (the meat dept is right next to seafood) are nice and its pretty cool to be working with seafood. I'm trying to learn what I can about seafood and meat and in general, its just nice to work again till I figure out what the hell I'm going to do.

Oh and things are coming full circle since craigslist told me that apparently Salt is hiring. It looks like I may have to go pay my old boss a visit. More on that as things pan out.

My monthly update

2011-02-19T10:02:00.002-05:00

I've now been unemployed for two months. Its slowly starting to be at the point where I'm going to beat my record for the longest I've been unemployed. Not counting my first year in college. the longest I've been with about a job is about 2 and a half months in 2008. It was my first attempt at "re-introducing" myself back into the restaurant world. I ended up getting a job at a restaurant that was in the process of opening and the chef had pretty much gone the route of over-hiring and seemingly just randomly grabbing the first resume/application off the pile and hiring the person. Then without really giving much direction he kind of just threw people into the fire. My duration there lasted about a month. Looking back I totally admit I was probably in over my head and as such it was a learning experience for me.

One thing I've noticed about being unemployed is how boring it is. Everyone and their brother always seems to bitch and complain about work and how they wish they didn't have to work so much but I don't seem to be like that at all. Don't get me wrong I'm FAR from being a work-aholic but I can't do the whole note working thing. The first month or so I could still afford to go out and do stuff regularly with the girlfriend and then with my cousins when they were around (which in restrospect is probably why I'm so tight on cash now...oops) but even then I was bored without working. I need something to keep my mind more occupied than it is right now.

The bright side to the whole job searching thing is that I've had a few interviews lately (and have another one on Monday). Its gotten to the point where I'm having to apply at a few non-restaurant places. I applied for the Seafood clerk position at a grocery store and then I applied for the stocking postion at Target. I actually wouldn't be too opposed to working at Target because it means a discount for me when buying clothes, movies/cd/video games and/or cooking stuff. haha

Speaking of which I have been keeping myself busy cooking at home. Most days I seem to pull something out of my ass with what my parents have at the house but I have also been making stuff from the slew of cookbooks I have. The highlight of the "meals from cookbooks" for me was making fried chicken for my parents and the girlfriend. I LOVE fried chicken and the thought of possibly being able to eat alot of it this summer is kind of a draw to go back to LHC. Also I made a pretty good Guinness and Cheddar soup (with bacon of course). So at least I'm able to inspire myself a bit that way.

So yeah, I suppose thats life in a nutshell. Nothing else exciting to say really. haha

A Start of a New Year

2011-01-09T22:21:00.003-05:00

So my prediction that I'd have a new job in a month was wrong. Here we are a month and 4 days later and I'm still looking. Obviously the job at the Brewery didn't happen. Since then I've sent out numerous resumes and have had an interview at a bakery/cafe owned by someone my dad knows. Beyond that I suppose following up on resumes is in order.

I shamelessly admit I haven't been working on job hunting as hard as I could be. Frankly after not having a "day off" the last semester of school, then working like crazy all summer it was nice to have a bit of a break. I had relatives in town for Christmas so it was nice getting to hang out with them without having to balance a work schedule. Also with the girlfriend being on Christmas break for school it was nice being able to hang out with her pretty frequently. I got to meet the rest of her extended family (her parents are divorced and remarried so she has four families) and I survived my first Christmas having to figure out presents and did pretty good. In return I got a pretty badass gift from her. AN ICE CREAM MAKER!! Only its not in stock yet so I still have to wait an undetermined amount of time. haha.

In return I of course have to make her ice cream once I do get it. Maybe I'll use it as a chance to try out bacon or prosciutto ice cream.....oh wait she reads this. Never mind. Beyond that I've just been trying to cook more and more just for the fun of it. I suppose the joy of cooking is what its all about. I seemed to have amassed quite a collection of cookbooks and its nice to make things here and there. And who knows it may inspire me to improve on/create recipes of my own. Job or no job I think it would be cool to do a "pop-up" or underground dinner sometime. And failing that just getting a bunch of friends together for a dinner would be pretty awesome.

So life goes on. I'm still alive and ticking. A new year has started and I think I'm going to have a hell of a time enjoying it

Back to the drawing board

2010-12-10T23:06:00.003-05:00

My original plan for this post was about having a dilemma about whether or not to take ANOTHER full time job in Grand Rapids along with my part time one. My hours were getting cut at Salt of the Earth due to the fact that frankly no one wants to drive to Fennville in the middle of winter when its snowing for lunch unless they live in the town.

Well I don't have that dilemma anymore because it was taken one step further: I was let go. What is this, the third time its happened now? Its nothing to be negative about though. The managers and owners crunched numbers and the came to the conclusion that one of the better ways to save money (as opposed to losing money) was to get rid of doing lunch all together. Thus the lack of needing the lunch cook (aka me) especially when they're already tight on hours. So I was a casualty of that. I guess I can't be mad. The economy in Michigan sucks and as a business owner you do what you have to do so you don't go in the red.

Luckily for me, I already had the wheels in motion about a possible second job. I don't want to jinx myself though. Long story short its a place opening at some point in the next month in GR. I sent my resume in, the chef emailed me wanting to set up an interview, I set one up for the day after I got let go, and it went fine. Much like with Sote I did an excellent job answering questions and asking them too. I related with the chef quite well and I left feeling pretty good about it.

Now I just have to get past the Black Box on the 20th. I've heard of chef's doing that but never thought I'd be doing one for a while. Its nothing crazy though. He said he wasn't trying to trick us and that it wouldn't be a competition. He just wants to get an idea of how people work and how they cook and what not. So it should be interesting.

Gee, looking back the whole not being angry thing sounded much better when I was walking to my car on Monday. I understand the reasoning and agree with it but can't help being slightly miffed. I mean its not like I still have Christmas shopping to do, and oil change to get, and I have to afford life in general. Best cast scenario I'll have a new job in a month. But yeah, it just sucks.

On a brighter note, I get my new computer tomorrow (or Monday). Woo hoo!

Baby Steps

2010-11-02T22:20:00.004-04:00

Back in August, roughly around the time I started sending out the batch of resumes that got me the job at Salt of the Earth I jokingly suggested that I wait till the end of October to look for a job.

The reasoning behind that was just wanting a break from life. At the time I was in at the tail end of working 9-10 hour days for 6 days a week for almost 3 months straight. Prior to that I unofficially didn't have ANY days off (the last semester of school I either worked, went to school or worked at my internship every day of the week). Likewise there were also numerous things I wanted to do. The first week or so back was the girlfriends birthday AND I got to meet her family, I wanted to hang out with friends I havn't seen in ages (and with the exception of my former roomate, our mutual friend Rob, my friends Lindsay and Patrick I STILL haven't seen a bunch of friends), and just for once I actually wanted to go to visit my sister in Colorado.

Obviously that didn't happen because I have a job and am busy with that. Ironically though quite a few places in Chicago that I was thinking about applying at (in other words I had resumes and cover letters printed out) have posted in various places that they're hiring. Go figure.

Would it be cool to possibily get jobs at those places?: Of course

Do I regret not sending resumes out?: No, as the saying goes a bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush

Am I still going to try in the future?: Of course

But for now, I really am happy where I am. I cannot tell a lie though, a part of me would've loved to be back in GR, and there are a bunch of things I still need to work on getting better at at work; but I like the people I work with and I really am learning things.

And to be honest, I'd much rather stay in the area until I'm sure I'm cut out for restaurant cooking. In the past when I've talked to Chef Dunn (one of my teachers) he pointed out that some people just aren't up for being line cooks. And theres nothing wrong with that. In fact I don't really want to be a line cook my whole life. As much as it would rock to own my own restaurant, I'd be just as content having another food related job and just cooking for fun.

Once upon a time there was this girl I kinda sorta had a thing for. I never did grasp if she had a thing for me, but somehow we got to talking about the physical aspects of relationships. She pointed out that sometimes you have to take baby steps. And its something that even beyond the physical aspects of relationships applies to everything in life. Despite wanting to move away, I think figuring out my path in life is a bit more of a relevent goal.

At this point my baby steps could take me anywhere, and I'm ready so see where they go!

Life in a nutshell

2010-10-22T16:21:00.002-04:00

I'm alive. On that note other than the girlfriend I'm not sure how many people read this....oh well.

Anyway, a few updates on how things are going.

- The new job is going great. I am working at a nice little restaurant called "Salt of the Earth" in Fennvile. I work the lunch shift, which pretty much entails setting up for lunch. Mostly working the pantry station (salads, cold sandwiches), and then cleaning up after lunch is done. Also I help here and there with prep and then help shape bread dough at the end of the shift. The people I work with are all pretty nice, The Executive chef and sous chef kick ass, and the food is pretty damn good. I'm planning on staying as long as they'll have me

- Much like other jobs there are some growing pains in terms of speed and organization, but unlike other places (*cough* Graydon's and Wildfire *cough*) I have a feeling that they will be patient with me to an extent. I just gotta start busting my butt some more and asking for help when needed

- Life living with the parents is good. Pretty much I have the basement to myself and took over the family room. I had what I jokingly refer to as a nest going. I watch TV on the couch (or on the floor) wrapped in a blanket, then have my computer on the coffee table and whatever books I'm reading on the floor. Currently my grandma is visiting but its all cleaned up. But I have a feeling it will be back soon. haha

- Things with the girlfriend are going good. For her birthday I took her to a restaurant called CityVu Bistro on top of CityFlats Hotel in Holland. Nice food there. Beyond that we've been trying to hang out once or twice a week and have been succeeding for the most part. It kinda sucks living 45 min drive apart, but thats life.

- I've been cooking more and more at home. I have about 25 or so cookbooks and finally have the money to affor groceries (or my parents money) to make stuff. I've been pumping out some pretty good food. One of these days I'll post pictures.

Thats the past month in a nutshell. I'm hoping to write more. I like writing and in light of the fact that I would like to write professionally (or at least semi-regularly), I want to get in the habit of writing more. So at the very least I'll write to stay in practice. If things up on here then hooray.

The Waiting game

2010-09-19T23:19:00.005-04:00

I hate waiting. Don't get me wrong, I can be pretty patient when needs be (like waiting for an appointment, or for someone to pick me up); but I hate waiting when it comes to waiting in lines or waiting for something to happen.

The last couple of weeks of working at the club was horrible for the fact that I couldn't wait for it to end. I liked the work, and I liked the people I worked and lived with and for the most part I liked the area but the fact that I knew it was ending and just wanted it to get there so it would be over was annoying at hell.

Now I get to wait again to start my new job. I haven't decided if I'm going to disclose the name on the blog yet and I have yet to decide on a little "code name" for it. So for now its just "new job." I went down for an interview for it about 3 weeks before I finished at the club, I got offered the job about a week and a half later and I was supposed to start tomorrow. Only that didn't happen.

While napping today I got a phone call. I answered without really thinking about it and it was the "new job." For some reason or another the chef had me down for starting Friday and when I mentioned that it was supposed to be tomorrow he chalked it down to miscommunication or something. After getting that out of the way, he then pushed back my starting day to the 24th. So now I get to wait another 5 days. Which brings us back to the waiting game. Fun times

Other random thoughts that come to my mind:

The bright side of this all is that I'm taking the girlfriend (who is actually slightly amused that I keep referring to her as "the girlfriend") out for her birthday tomorrow so it actually gives me more time to take her out and do stuff with her. I still haven't decided where we're going. I was originally thinking about going someplace in Holland but since we have more time, I'm now contemplating maybe going to Grand Rapids. I guess I'll have to sleep on it.

Also I now have more time to work on some cooking projects. I decided about half way through the summer that I want to cook some things from the Momofuku cookbook (as well as other cookbooks). And it would be a sin NOT to start with the noodles. Only the broth for the noodles takes 7 hrs to make and that in itself is going to be a project. It will keep me busy, and assuming I do it right it will taste good. So its a win-win situation.

Finally I've had a hankering to resurrect (or I guess carry over from my myspace blog) one of my infamous picture blogs with some pictures from this summer. I probably won't post any pictures of people, but some of the food and sights and what not from this summer. Hmm...we'll see.

My interesting story (or where Timmy turns down a chance to go on a trail at one of his favorite restaurants...er bakery)

2010-08-26T19:25:00.003-04:00

So its getting to be the end of the summer. The time where I should probably be sending out cover letters and resumes and what not. Which I actually havn't been doing. Don't get me wrong I probably will next week at some point but I've been trying to prioritize things in my head which became evident with the resume I DID send out.

Those of you who may or may not have been following my ramblings for while know that I've kind of had a hankering for moving. Why...I don't really know. I think I'm just ready for a change of scenery. I think I've kind of always resented Michigan and the Holland/GR area ever since I was pretty much forced to move here. To me my childhood memories are rooted in Blue Springs, MO a city I probably wouldn't recognize today therefore making me having a childhood connection to anything moot and void.

But yeah I've had a hankering for moving. Late last year I think I unofficially narrowed it down to one of 3 places: Chicago, NYC, or Cleveland. The first two should be self explanatory. Both are fun towns, both are big food towns. Cleveland is kind of a WTF choice. To be frank, it actually does have a good culinary scene. For better or for worse, having Michael Symon there has helped it alot. I don't care if its Detroit's little brother, I don't care about Lebron James or the Cavilers, I don't care that the Indians aren't doint well, I just care that it does have an inspiring food scene (and the Rock and roll Hall of fame.)

Since going to stage at my friend Steve's restaurant last fall I've really had a thing for NYC which leads us to where my story begins: I sent a resume into the Momofuku Milk Bar. I was browsing through the NYC Craigslist and saw a posting for a "Etc position." Pretty much it consisted of doing random baking and delivering stuff to the other Momofuku locations. I sent the resume in, and then I followed up and I heard back from Helen, one of the sous chef's. We talked a little and she said she'd be happy to have me in for a trail, but that if I were to get a job I'd probably start off as an extern due to my lack of pastry experience.

So I told the usual suspects (my parents, my sister, Steve, the girlfriend, and two teachers who never did get back to me) about it. And they all had varrying responses.

My parents pretty much gave a "non-answer." They were happy that I was able to find something and follow up on it. But also they pointed out the money issue and that it would be something that I would have to think about and work on.

My sister pretty much implied I was crazy to think about it. And the she wanted to know why I felt I needed to move. She also thought I was crazy for thinking about Cleveland. And despite not really having to defend myself, I did.

The girlfriend (who for some reason I keep refering to as "The girlfriend"). Seemed excited that I got contacted by someplace that inspired me. But after talking a bit more we realized we were both sick of the long distance relationship. I think she's happy I ultimately ended up turning it down (more on that in a second). Also I think if I were to end up going someplace not with in an hours drive of GR that I'd have to visit way more (which is understandable).

Steve did what Steve does best and gave me the insight from someone in the industry.

And so yeah, I liked getting peoples insight on it.

Unfortunately I ended up turning it down. After talking to Helen some and realizing I wouldn't make enough to comfortably live (or probably even visit home). I said thanks but no thanks. She understood my reasoning and we were both amicable about it and she even said it was cool to stay in touch. So who knows Momofuku may be an option down the road.

So yeah, I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do now.

Actually I do, I have a list of places in the GR/Holland area, and Chicago and Cleveland to send my resume to. I just have to figure out if I really do want to go someplace out of town.

Also this whole Momofuku thing has kind of opened me up to the option of pastries, which I have zero experience with (I kinda never took PAstries in school. heh)

Thats about where I stand right now. I still don't freaking know.

Five Years from now (or maybe not)

2010-08-09T10:57:00.003-04:00

So last night I went out to the apartments to go to the bonfire. Most of the kitchen staff as well as the managers live out there. The last time I went out Chef was out there (but left right as I got there) as well as one of the ladies who work at U-21 (Under 21, named for it being geared towards younger folk). This week it was pretty much just the night staff (minus Giles, the night sous chef)

It was actually pretty fun. Hanging out with the people I work with (and the night pastry cook) outside of work was a new experience. It was just nice to talk and hang out without the stress/pressure of work all around us. AND it was a nice change of pace from life at Beachview.
Don't get me wrong, I love Beachview to death, but sometimes you need a break from partying and hearing all the servers bitch about things (work, the members of the club, about how hot they get, about who else in the service staff may or may not be dumb).(true story)

Anyway we're at the bonfire and Jeff decides he's going to be Dr. Thought Provoking and asks everybody where we want to be in five years. When it got around to me, I answered that I honestly didn't know. Heck, I didn't even know where I'll be in 5 or so weeks after I'm done here. And that kind of troubled me because I know everyone needs to have some sort of goal to work toward. In work, in life, in play, for anything I suppose. And I felt bad for not really thinking that far ahead
　
When push comes to shove I know what I'd like to be doing. In a perfect world I'd like to be well on my way to working my way up the ranks in a kitchen to eventually becoming at the very least a sous chef. I'd also like to be putting the wheels in motion to opening my own low key restaurant. Either some sort of Asian cuisine (currently I'm reading the Momofuku cookbook for like the 3rd time and I'm getting a culinary boner. ha), an Italian/Spanish/Mediterranean cuisine, or the cop out of "American Regional" cuisine. I'd also like to have the Momofuku/Au Pied De Conchon vibe going for it (in terms of it being not pretentious or not having a high end vibe going for it).

I don't know why I feel uncomfortable telling people that. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I self admittedly still kind of suck. I mean I know the basics pretty well. For the most part I'm pretty serious about my job. I can cook pretty well at home and for others. But I have to work on my speed and working cleanly when I'm at work. Oh and I have to work on my common sense sometimes too. So it feels weird having high ambitions when I have alot to work on.

I think its also due to insecurities I still have tucked away from when I was younger. As hard as it is to believe, growing up I was dorky (okay, that's not hard to believe), shy, kind of socially awkward and didn't always fit in. It got better as I got older but when I was younger there weren't too many people I was super close friends with. When I did try to share some of my aspirations with people they tended to make fun of me. In retrospect, I think it may have just been the regular ribbing people give each other about things (I.E. Calling someone who wants to be a basketball player Michael Jordan.....or do people now get called Lebron James?). Regardless I never really felt comfortable sharing my aspirations with people.

My back-up plan at the very least is to find a job at a low key restaurant/bakery/cafe/catering company/whatever in a decent sized city, keep my head down, work my ass off and then get a foot in the door of writing. As is evident by some of the blog entries I write, I LOVE to write and am pretty decent at it. I don't know if I'd want to do restaurant reviews forever, but I'd be open to doing informational and opinion articles. Actually, I'd probably try to do food writing even if I did open my own place. So regardless I'm going to put the wheels for writing in motion.

No matter what I do, I AM starting to narrow down where I a want to go after here (working at the club). I haven't hidden the fact I want to go back to school for additional schooling. Maybe a bachelors, maybe just to learn more about the aspects of the industry I'm unfamiliar with (baking, pastries and if I can find someplace that has a class: butchering), maybe to go someplace and take writing classes. So I want to end up someplace with a decent school for what I want to go for. Likewise I also want to end up someplace with good restaurants. Partially to eat at, but also partially so I can beg my way in to work for free if needs be to learn more. (in addition to any normal job I have).

So yeah, that's that. That's my rant on where I want to be an my inability to tell people. I wasn't expecting to have that conversation last night. But regardless it was still nice to hang out with the cooks.

(on a brighter note, Jeff became slightly less thought provoking afterwards by talking some good natured crap about his roommate. haha)

Looking Forward

2010-07-15T20:39:00.007-04:00

So the other day someone pointed out that we passed the halfway point of the summer. The first week I was here, the halfway point seemed like it would take forever to get to and now it seems like no time has passed at all.

It's kind of a bittersweet feeling. Not only is this all going to end soon. My job, my living situation, lving in this nice town, hanging with my co-workers....everything; but it also means I have to start figureing out the post job work situation.

Just leaving here is starting to look like its going to be kind of depressing. People who are keeping score at home know that I have a knack of becoming really attached to the people I work with (well except for at the Square apparently). It no different here, I really am starting to love to death all the people I work with and really enjoy hanging out with them and would love to be able to continue to have a friendship with them.

The thing is that unlike about 90% of the people who work here, coming back to work next summer isn't a totally convinient thing for me. Yeah I could go work at another seasonal club that runs through the fall/winter/spring months that would be done next summer and come back here. But I don't want to have a life of pretty much being a hermit.

On the other hand if I were to go get a permanent (until I quit or get go) job in the food industry I'd doubt they'd be fine with me saying "oh hey, I'm leaving for 3 months to go work a seasonal job"

So in otherwords its looking like after Harbor Springs, I won't be seeing EVERYBODY on a regular basis at the same time for a while. bleh

The next thing bothering me is where the heck do I go to look for a job? I've decided that I really do want to get out of Michigan just to have a taste of the country/world. Don't get me wrong, giving the right job I'd stay in Michigan if needs be, but I really do want to get out.

The thing is that unlike last year at this time when I was asking myself this same question, I now have a girlfriend. I hate bringing this up like this because she does know (and sometimes reads) about this blog and don't want her to think I'm looking at her like a hinderance.

Last year at this time I was talking about (and was semi-serious) about looking at such places as Las Vegas, and Portland, maybe NYC or DC. And then of course Chicago or Clevland.

For a while I really did have a culinary boner (thanks Andrew from Top Chef: Chicago for coining that phrase) for Vegas and Portland, and after visiting Steve in NYC last winter, I've come to the conclusion it doesn't seem so bad. The thing would be being in an even MORE long distance relatonship with my girlfriend.

On the one hand, I don't want to say don't move far away because of the relationship and then in a decade or so look back and say "What if?" I may not be a genious, but I have made plenty of decisions based on what other people thought and/or pressured me to do and then resented the decision in the future. Upon bringing it up I've has many people say "you don't want to move far away" because of the relationship. But at the same time I've always had this urging to move far away and would feel terrible if turned down the possibility to.

On the other hand, I don't want to move far away and have the relationship suffer because of it. I would feel terrible if it did and I don't think it would be fair to either of us.

Or the possibility of a kick ass job in Michigan or Cleveland or Chicago could come up and then I won't have this problem. In which case "screw it!" haha.

So yeah thats my slightly ocd thoughts on the matter. Once again sorry to my girlfriend if she reads this. I don't want it to seem like I'm talking relationship matters "behind your back," its just how I process things somehow.

Bleh. Decisions, Decisions.

Week 1 at the Club

2010-06-14T14:43:00.004-04:00

So for the most part life working at the club is going okay I suppose. My mind/emotions are kind of going crazy from the one-two-three punch of getting used to living in a new place and new people, getting used to a job, and being home sick. At first I kinda sat around being mopey but I've been trying to do things to keep busy.

The second day here my phone broke and that DEFINATELY didn't help things. Those few days figuring things out were hectic and stressful. Luckily things worked out. My mom got my account transfered to her old phone and then transfered the address book from my old phone on to it. And then when/if I get my blackberry fixed I can transfer it back. I tried turning it on the other day and it worked and the buttons seemed to work. But I may just have my parents take it to the Sprint store they go after they visit just to get it checked out.

Work is good. Things are kind of slow right now but thats just because its the beginning of the summer. Sometime late June/Early July things are supposed to really pick up and then things get crazy. And then towards mid-August they get slow again. I work nights with Beth (one of my friends from school who got me the job) and we do salads and cold appetizers. And then we're also responsible prepping any items needed for it. Except for the appetizer and the cold entree, our menu stays the same. (the hot side and then our appetizer and entree changes every day). So with me its just a matter of learning what goes in what salad and then working on going faster.

The people I live with are nice. For the most part everyone hangs out with everyone. I live at the big staff house called Beachview. Named for the fact that the main beach of Harbor Springs is right across the road. Its a big 3 story victorian house. The girls live on the third floor. The guys live on the second and then the first floor and basement are social areas. The downside is that everything in Harbor Springs closes pretty early so all we're doing at this point is hanging out around the house and drinking. Except for this past Wednesday I havn't drank much though. I'm sure once we get paid in 2 weeks we'll venture out more but otherwise we're trying to spend as little money as possible.

Things with Audrey are going well. Or as well as they can go considering we live 2.5-3hrs away from each other. I've been trying to call her at least once every other day. And then I'll text her or we chat on facebook. As you all can guess the first couple of days without a phone were kinda hectic.

So yeah, thats that. Nothing exciting really other than some of the partying. I seem to have a love/hate relationship with that. I mean its fun to socialize but I've also been trying not to drink too much. So yeah. Once we get paid I'm sure we'll do other stuff though

The Beginning of the Rest of my Life

2010-05-15T16:19:00.003-04:00

So I totally broke my pattern of posting once a month. But don't worry I'm alive.

Had I not been entirely stressed out by end of the semester assignments/tests, I suppose I could've blogged about the end of my college education. And I'm totally over the "hooray I'm graduated" feeling so I'm not in the mood to write about that. I guess the vibe I have right now is to write about all the changes I have going on and/or want to implement.

Timmy in a Relationship: Part two: So things between me and the girl are going great. We are now in a point where we are officially in a relationship and we're both happy with how things are going. We've been trying to hang out once or twice a week (more if possible) but that has become difficult with my move back in with the parents (I live about a 45 min drive from GR now) and the fact that I'm off of work for the month of May (more on that in a bit). So yeah, we get along great. I feel VERY comfortable talking to her. She puts up with my dorkiness and dumb jokes and my random obessivness (I.E. I know the most random things about the most random subjects) and so I'm happy and she's happy so hooray.

The Work situation: The last day at my internship was Mothers Day. It was a great day to end my internship in that we kicked lots of ass. I got to make almost everything I had learned how to make at my time at San Chez. Also we found a way to implement almost every random act of tomfoolery that had come up while I was there (30 second dance party, the "oohhhhh", The pastry chef (not really) being mean etc etc). I think the only thing that annoyed me was how long I had to stay that day. But it happens. I was happy about my time at San Chez. I don't know who reads this or how long they've read it but lets pretend I have someone who is familiar with my work history. And if you are you've known I havn't had the best experiences in the restaurant industry. But I can safetly say that my time at San Chez had been probably the best and most succesful experience ever. And if an opportunity ever comes to be able to work there and get paid, I'm totally taking it. Who knows what the future brings.

My last day at The Square is this coming Tuesday. I haven't hidden the fact on this blog that I've been sick of the job for a while. Don't get me wrong I LIKE the people I work with and will miss them. I LOVE talking to some of the residents (and have actually had one or two who I got along pretty well with pass away) but other wise I'm totally ready for a change.

The Work situation: Part 2: I can't remember if I mentioned it in this blog before BUT I have a summer job up in Harbor Springs at a private club. I learned about it from my friend Beth who has worked up there the previous 3 summers. Pretty much I'll be the night time pantry cook and will be working with Beth. From what I picked up I'll mostly be doing salads and cold appetizers which I'm fine with. I'm looking real forward to that.

So yeah I suppose those are the major things going on in my life right now. Things are totally looking up for me and I'm happy with how life is. I feel really good about things and am trying my hardest to succeed right now. I'm just taking things easy for the moment until I head off to Harbor Springs. I've been reading alot more. I'm trying to cook for fun and I've been trying to be somewhat healthier so we'll see how that goes

Timmy in a Relationship??

2010-03-04T23:56:00.002-05:00

So....I'm kinda scared right now.

Actually lets rewind slightly. Like I mentioned in my last post, I've started seeing a girl lately. For those of you who aren't familiar with me, lets just say I havn't had the best luck with girls in the past, so my basic outlook into dating the one I am now was to not have any expectations and to just take it as it comes, so I did. And its going pretty good.

We had the impecable luck to start dating a few weeks before Valentines Day. Partially because I had to work at San Chez and partially cause neither of us wanted a "Valentines" date, we didn't make formal plans. I ended up going to hang out with relatives after work and she ended up going out with a friend. Fast forward to about 10pm at night she started texting me. When I left I texted to see what they were up to and she said she thought they were going home. About 20 min later when I made it home she texted again wondering if I wanted to meet them at the bar they were headed to and so I did. I went, we talked, I met her friend and some guy that I guess liked her friend (he was pretty drunk though). Later after a few beers we both went up to pay our tabs and started talking by the bar. At some point my hand brushed hers and we ended up holding hands (yeah, I feel like I should be 17 telling this story) and talked some more.

After a while we went back to the table. We all talked for a little, her friend warded off advances from drunk guy and then they called a cab. At which point I went for it and kissed her. And it was fun....up until some guy made a smart ass comment and ruined the mood. ha.

Since then we've hung out pretty regularly. And yes theres been more kissing. And I suppose we're "unofficially" officially in a relationship. And thats what scares me because I've never been in one before. As far as relationships go its kind of unorthodox. Most of our "dates" we've gone dutch because both of us are tight on cash. Last week it was pretty much me hanging out while she did homework at school (and then at my apartment).

We love hanging out with each other, this post is making me realize how much I miss her at the moment. I feel like the luckiest person alive that I get to hang out with someone I relate to so well and who I can feel like I can talk about anything with. And I'm scared that at some point I may do something to screw it all up.

I don't think I actually will. But this is a new experience for me, one that I really like and don't want to fail it. Its natural to be scared. When it comes to being scared about this I like to tell myself a story.

Once upon a time I use to be scared of roller coasters. Especially those that went upside down. Then one day back when I lived in Lansing we all went to Cedar Point. My friends made me go on the Raptor. I was scared, but went anyway. And IT KICKED ASS! Moral of the story: Sometimes you have to say "fuck it," face your fears, and it will be fun.

Updates on Stuff

2010-02-10T19:30:00.002-05:00

I suppose I should make a joke about my one post a month streak right now. It seems like the right thing to do considering my trend. I just havnt seemed that compelled to write lately. There used to be a time where I could and would write about anything that came to mind in my Myspace blog (there was a time where I'd literally write one blog a day). So I don't know if my lack of writing is a result of me not having as much on my mind, or what.

On that note, my internship is going pretty well. The staff at San Chez are a great group of people. The managers are nice and per one of the fellow cooks they're probably going to be some of the nicest bosses that I may ever have in the industry. Will that be the case....who knows. For the most part I'm pretty much a prep cook. I just prep basic stuff. While I'm not learning the art of making fantastic Spanish Tapas or anything, its still a great exposure. At the very least when I'm done with my internship I can see myself walking away with a renewed confidence in myself, a hopeful increase in speed and a bunch of wonderful contacts and references in the food industry.

Also I seem to have a girl in my life. Well, kinda. For lack of another explanation I've gone on a few dates with a girl recently. Long story short, I met her through Free Communication Weekend on Eharmony a few weeks ago. Then we chatted some on facebook IM, then we met for coffee (well she drank coffee, I drank black cherry cola), then I went to visit her a work (she works at a book store, what did you expect. ha) and then this past Monday she joined me and my roomate and our friend Laura for pizza. And yeah, so far its going pretty good. At this point I'm just taking it as it come, I'm trying not to have any expectations on where this will lead. Hell, most times I go on a date it doesn't last past date 1, so I think I'm ahead for once. More on this as it develops.

January Update

2010-01-20T08:51:00.002-05:00

So I guess I'm still on the one post a month fix. ha. Like always I havn't had much to write about. I've gotten the wheels moving on a few things so hope stuff will change

As far as school goes, its pretty much my last semester before being able to graduate with an associates in Culinary Management. Its been a hell of a journey that technically started in 2001. And it will be a holy shit moment when its over. I originally was going to take the final two classes I needed to also graduate with a degree in Baking and Pastry arts, but I changed my mind. (again). Currently I'm taking the class that I need to take in concordence with my co-op work requirement, then the second half of the semester I'm taking a lab on "Culinary Competitions" and then a lecture on being a Personal/Private Chef. The Personal/Private Chef class is self explanatory. Its a side of the industry that is sometimes over looked. Culinary Competitions is one I went back and forth on. In the grand scheme of things I'm not sure if I feel compelled to enter alot of competitions in the future, BUT in theory it will hopefully help with my speed and organization which in the long run will help. So hope I can get ahead that way.

The work situation has gone back and forth for a while. I ended up not getting the job at JW (The hotel I mentioned last entry). It sucked, I'm over it. blah blah blah. A few weeks ago I actually got a job at a breakfast/lunch place that my family goes to alot. But that fell through too. Not so much due to anything I did or didn't do. Mostly because the owner/kitchen manager wasn't sure if she could give me full time enough of a schedule. She also felt that it would be hard to give me one on one time and that as small as the restaurant was (both size wise and business wise), that I'd be in the way just doing prep. So I amicable quit (she gave me the option to if I wanted). Finally I (hopefully) hit the jackpot by landing an (unpaid) internship at a place called San Chez Bistro.

San Chez is a Spanish Tapas restaurant here in GR that is owned by one of my teachers. I had inquired about the possibility of interning before I got the job at the breakfast/lunch place. Then when it fell through my teacher said if I was still interested to email the Executive Chef. I did, we met, and then I walked out with an internship. That starts next Friday so it should be interesting.

Currently I have kinda crappy hours at The Square. I'm supposed to start getting more hours next week (the week of the 25th). I'm pushing for him to at least give me 24 b/c its the only way I can afford to stay in GR AND work an unpaid internship. So we'll see.

So thats a bit of a brief update on life. Nothing exciting. Hopefully the internship will give me a few interesting things to write about.

The obligatory month update?

2009-12-11T00:52:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I rarely post, I suck. ha.

But my life hasn't been exciting lately. Theres only so much I can write about my less than exciting school life other than the fact that I'm essentiall done with all my required classes.

I only have to take one more class for the required 240 hrs Co-Op work experience required by the state of Michigan. Which was part of the reason why I was checking out NYC. Unfortunately THAT fell through due to the cost of living out there (even with living with my relatives it would've been crazy).

On that note I had an interview at what probably is the best place in Grand Rapids to work at. Like most places I worked that I mention in the blog it will stay unnamed. But it's pretty much the only 4 Diamond Hotel group in Grand Rapids. I had my first interview with the HR guy of the hotel group last week. And then tomorrow I have a second interview with the chef of the hotel the job is at. So thats exciting, yet also intimidating.

The more I crash and burn, the more I have a slight fear of failure. On the one hand I like it because it pushes me to work my hardest, yet I'd just like to be able to work and not worry that things are going FUBAR and they'll let me go. Just once I'd like to be able to have someone fully willing to push me to be the best I can.

Luckily its a pretty entry level job. I'd pretty much be one of the cooks who cook for the staff, and then help with banquets when needed. So on the one hand I don't think there'd be near as much pressure on me as if I was working in one of the restaurants, but I'm still going to be learning to cook the same quality stuff. And the HR guy said, that its also one of those things that if we get caught up and cleaned up that its very easy for me to get cross trained. So we'll see how that goes.

On another note: a few blog entries ago I talked about trying to eat/drink healthier. I'm slowly making progress. Trying to give up pop is harder than I thought. I'm kind of trying to take it in steps. First by cutting out Mountain Dew (again) then slowly cutting out the rest of the pop. So we'll see.

Eating wise is kind of harder. I don't have the inclination or need really to find out what's healthy. I spend so much of my life being a picky eater and now that I'm starting to like more foods I tend to eat/cook whatever I like and want. I'm too busy enjoying eating to care. ha. So we'll see.

Hope to have updates on the work situation soon

NYC or BUST!!

2009-11-10T22:17:00.003-05:00

Dear everyone who still checks this occasionally,

sorry I suck at updating this. With the lack of anything interesting to write about I'd been neglecting this. :(

On a happy note: I'M GOING TO NYC FOR THE WEEKEND!

Long story short, my online friend/culinary inspiration/psuedo-mentor Steve Mendoza (look him up on facbook/myspace) is the Executive Chef of a restaurant called Las Chicas Locas, a while back I inquired about the possibility of interning with him. He said he'd be open to it and discussion began. My parents being my parents, had the obvious concerns about me going out so they said they would be more open to it if I were to go out for a few days to work and what not.

So now here I go. I have relatives that live in North Haledon, NJ which is about 45 min away from the city. So I'm staying with them this weekend (and will also be staying with them for the internship). I'm flying out tomorrow. Thurs I'm just taking it easy and checking a few things out around their house and then Friday and Saturday I'm working.

Due to my recent past experiences with restaurant work I'm slightly nervous, but at the same time I'm excited. Steve is familar with crash and burn experiences and my general lack of experience so he knows what to expect.

Unfortunately I won't have time to hit up anything else in town. But I suppose that gives me something to look forward to when/if I do move out there.

Being healthier

2009-10-06T06:33:00.003-04:00

So I have a new goal right now. To be a little bit more healthier in the way I eat/drink/whatever.

My parents keep getting on my case about being more healthier and excercising more; and since god knows I probably won't be going to work out on a regular basis anytime soon I figured I should work on my eating habits.

The first is to try and almost totally cut pop (or soda) out. As some people know I've managed to almost quell my desire for Mountain Dew. I gave in a few weeks ago, but thats mostly because I let one of my room mate Zigs' friends borrow Season 4 of Lost on DVD and she bought me a 6 pack as thanks. I figure if I can do it for Mountain Dew, then I can do it for the rest of the pop world. I rarely have pop at home anymore. All I have is Lemonade and Water (and being the typical upper 20 male: beer). School is the hard part. I've been bringing a water bottle to school (let me say that being a culinary student makes it easy to almost always have ice watter) but I still give in a bit. In the grand scheme of things, I think I'll still drink pop when I go out. But for the most part I want to cut it all out.

Eating is another story. I don't think I've been eating that healthy. Actually let me rephrase that. In terms of the fact that I don't eat alot of sweets I do okay. In terms of the fact that I havn't been eating the most balanced of diets in terms of getting all of my food groups I've been sucking. Lately my goal has been to eat more veggies which I've been doing a good job at. The last couple times I've gotten groceries I've stocked up. I even have given in and gotten canned peas.

Also I've been trying to eat three meals a day. My mom says something about how eventually that will help my metabolism. So I've been trying to have a semi-set schedule. I bought cereal and milk and have scarfing down a bowl or two before school. AT school is kind of up in the air. Thankfully Tues-Thurs I have Art and Bev's to go to (aka the cafe type setting that a class runs) and then Dinner I try to make something at home. So we'll see how that works out.

While I may not be running in a path that will cause me to lose alot of weight right off the bat, I would like to hope that I'm eating in a more healthy manner. And to at least get as much of this healthy manner in before I run full blast into working in the food industry and fuck it all up. heh.

So we'll see how it goes

Wow. Didn't see that coming

2009-09-22T12:57:00.004-04:00

I have now lost two restaurant jobs because of my lack of experience. Long story short I went into work at Wildfire on Wednesday. Chef Ray pulled me aside and pretty much said he had to let me go. I guess they got a bit over zealous in hiring and due to my lack of experience they didn't want to always have to stop to instruct me. Ray actually said he tried to talk them into keeping me, but Chef Jim (Who's actually the executive chef, Ray was the Executive Sous Chef) told him to let me go.

Its a bummer. Especially since I didn't even have time to screw anything up this time. heh. Even though I didn't see it coming, I'm not fully surprised. There was actually a little voice in the back of my head telling me to look out for it. But I had hope this time would be different. IF anything I'm bummed at not getting the opportunity to work under some knowledgeable chefs.

But I'll live, I've worked in this business long enough to know you can't take things personally and that you just have to pick yourself up, wipe yourself off and then continue on. Everybody who I've talked to in depthly about this who's familiar with the business has said its happened to them. And Chef Dunn even went on to say that occasionally Chef's ego's get too inflated and they forget that once upon a time they were the guy with no experience needing someone to teach and mentor them.

Which brings me to my next point. As a bit of a result of this I came to appreciate even more those people in the industry who I admire. No, not the Bourdain's and the Symon's of the world (who I still do admire). But the ones like Chef Dunn, and Chef Whitman, and my often mentioned online friend Chef Steve out in NYC. The ones who are there willing to give advice and will let me bounce thoughts of them. In an industry that is all about having a mentors and/or people to look up to, those are the type of people who you don't want to take for granted.

And on a brighter note with all this. I may have actually put the wheels in motion for a possibile internship after I graduate. But thats all i'm going to say about it until I get more of my ducks in a row and deal with all the odds and ends it would entail to get things figured out.

Revelation

2009-09-14T13:35:00.003-04:00

So I think I know whats its like to have a job you love. Or maybe its just the fact that I don't really want to work in a retirement home anymore. (no offense to anyone from the Square who may see this, but it's always been my goal to get back to working in restaurants.)

Seriously, I'm bummed out that I don't get to work at the Grille again till Wednesday.

I sent an email to Chef Ray giving him my school schedule (and the one day a week i'm still working at the Square) so he would know my exact availability and more or less said I'm willing to come in whenever he needs me if I'm not at school or work.

While I am totally aware of the fact that I may not become the next big Rockstar chef, I'm totally at a point where I want to just learn as much as I can and just work as much as possible. Like I said the other day, I'm not trying to make too much a big of deal that I'm working for someone who used to work for Thomas Keller. It would be too easy for someone in a similar predicament to get a big head about it. But this is one of those moments I'm staying humble about and appreciating for the experience it brings.

I'm all for using opportunities like this and for knowing someone like my online-friend Steve Mendoza who is now the Executive Chef at Lac Chicas Locas to gain more opportunities in the future. Its also something that I can't take for granted. Once again I'm now thankful that I have a mentor/friend in Steve and will hopefully have a mentor in Chef Ray who are both humble and willing to help and give advice.

A far step up from previous places I've worked (*cough*Graydon's*cough*)

Holy Shit moment #1 + the new job

2009-09-13T10:46:00.004-04:00

This past week I've had a couple Holy Shit moments. This covers the first one and since it has to do with the new job I can tie the two together.

Work at the Grille has been okay so far. I haven't really done much. I mean, we're not open yet so in retrospect there's not much prep work that needs to be done. Scratch that. This past Tuesday was a practice day for both servers and cooks so some food got cooked, Wednesday was "Friends and Family night" then we had VIP events Thursday and Friday. So yeah food did get cooked, but not in the quantities that they will get cooked once the Grille opens. So even though I did go in, there wasn't much to do by the time I got there. Which brings up a scary flashback to Graydon's of me exasperatedly standing around being told to find something to do and not knowing what.

The bright side of that is Chef Ray totally picked up that I have a bit of a deer in headlights complex with being there. I mean I made it clear I haven't worked in a restaurant in about 3 years. Likewise he also realized that for about 3 days he had me come in when there's been nothing to do and I think he did feel kind of bad. So he promises I'll get more hours when we get busier.

Otherwise the people I work with seem to be pretty nice. Ironically despite being a prep cook I've mostly worked nights and have started to get to know the night time guys. Although I think my normal hours are supposed to be mornings on the weekends and then one night a week. So its going to be a bummer not getting to work with them as much (although I'm sure the daytime crew is pretty cool too.) So yeah, that's that.

The holy shit moment came when we were having a little kitchen meeting before working on my first day. Both Chef Jim (the executive chef) and Chef Ray (who I thought was the Executive chef, but I guess isn't) were both talking about what places they worked and their history and what not. But anyway, Chef Jim has mostly done corporate chef jobs but has more prominently done work at the McCormick Place and the Sears Tower at Chicago. According to him, nothing beats doing a 3 banquets for like a million people in 24 hours. Chef Ray, has previously worked up at Tapawingo in the Northern part of Michigan. But here's the kicker, in the past he's also worked at Trio under Grant Achatz and at the French Laundry. Seriously, it can't get more epic than that. I mean despite what you think about the restaurants, those are like two of the most highly acclaimed chef's in the country. And my boss used to work for them.

At first I had a bit of a breakdown. I mean, here I am, a person who to all extents and purposes isn't very experienced. And I got a job at what if probably going to be Grand Rapids next best restaurant. But then it hit me something that was said at orientation. That we were hired just as much for our personalities as we were for our experience. So if Chef Ray saw potential in me, then who am I to doubt it. I have my chance, now I just have to work my ass off so I don't fuck it up.

Cheers to that.

Change is coming, but not the change I expected!

2009-08-31T22:12:00.003-04:00

So wow.

I need to re-do my last post. So the changes with my car were a precursor to a big change in my life. But the change wasn't moving home. The change was getting a new job!

Long story short, I've been emailing teachers on and off all summer asking if they knew of jobs. A few weeks ago one emailed me back about a restaurant which I will refer to in the blog as "The Grille" that was opening up. So naturally I sent in my resume. Where upon I got called in for an interview.

I felt good about I handled myself. For the life of me I can't remember what he asked me, but we talked some about my experience and about how I want to get back in restaurants and push myself to learn more. And some about what the restaurant is going to be like. And then much like my interview at The Square I got a tinglely feeling at a certain point which made me have a good feeling. Close to the end he was like "well I have to interview a few more people, but I think you'll be a good fit. I like teaching people and helping them reach their potential. So if I hire you I'll probably start you at prep cook"

I may not know much, but I know if they give you the "I think you'll be a good fit" talk then they're heavily leaning towards you. So I left feeling good. Chef Ray (my boss to be) seemed like a nice guy. Like me he is kind of soft spoken. And like me he is awkward as hell talking on the phone. But yeah I felt great about it. And sure enough I got called two days later and got offered the job.

Orientation is this Thursday and then I'll find my schedule from there. But I know that my main days are going to be Friday, Saturday and Sunday mornings and then one night a week. I have NO clue how I'm going to balance school, work at the Grille and work at the Square togther. But I'll figure something out.

So here's hoping I don't crash and burn like Graydons. I know it will be a great learning experience for me. And I hopefully will get the chance to write some interesting things about it. Who knows, I may get pictures to post.

Oh and on another happy note, I'm stayin in GR now too. Although that was decided on before I got the job.

Blown fuses and broken axels

2009-08-14T22:53:00.004-04:00

So it seems that everytime something big happens in my life, something happens to my car.

I bought my old one shortly before my original stint in prep cooking.

I finished paying it off shortly before I started at Mark Maker

I replaced the brakes the first time shortly before moving into Matt's

I got the mirror fixed after having it be held on by electricians tape shortly before moving in with my sister.

The brakes got fixed a second time shortly before moving in with Zigs.*

and now it stopped working on the cusp of my final year of school**

Funny now things worked.

On the bright side, I found a new car yesterday. A Friend of my mom's works with a used car company. Kind of like a middle man. He finds customers to buy cars from the used lot. And then he's the ones who tracks down the "perfect" car for the customers. We've gotten my last car, my sisters last 2, and my mom's last 2 through him. So I trust him

The downside to all this is in light of not having a full time job I have to move back home. On the one hand I'm bummed cause I like living with Zigs. But on the other hand I think its kind of a good move. I get to focus more on school now, and less on worrying about rent or utilities.

And due to not having to buy my own I get to worry less about the cost of groceries (well kinda) and more on cooking.

I love to cook. I'm discovering its seems to sooth me and put me in a good mood.

Even when I was line cooking at Carrabba's or New Holland and even getting my ass handed to me at Graydon's it seemed all my worries went away.

I like cooking, I like learning about different cuisines, I like eating, I hope to be able to travel in the future. I just like having something I feel good about.

And despite sucking at it, I love writing about it.

So here's to a new car.
Here's to the beginning of a new chapter in life
Here's to eating
and here's to writing

Cheers

* I'm not sure if those things happend exactly around those times. But I like to think they did

** I still claim my car didn't die. For some reason it didn't start. The good samaritan who tried to help me jump it used to be a mechanic and checked what he could out (considering he didn't have any tools) and theorized it could've been either the ignition fuses or the starter. Considering that my entire rear axel and shocks were well....shot, it totally wasn't worth it to get fixed. Figures. Hope the new car can last as long

Counting the days!

2009-07-08T16:26:00.002-04:00

So MJ's funeral was yesterday and now I'm counting the days untill people stop acting like the world is going to end because he died. Don't get me wrong, I respected the fact he was a decent musician with a bunch of creative ideas. I respect the fact that for the most part he was a big influence on African American culture. And I am sad that he died.....just like I'm sad that all other dozen or so people who died last week died. Otherwise I'm like "oh well"

It might just be me but I never get why people make a such big deal about celebrities. I mean yeah they're cool and all, and they may be great actors/musicians/athletes/chef's/reality stars who are only known for being douches/whatever, but I still don't get why people go crazy and run around saying they want to have the celebrities babies and marry them (etc, etc).

This would be the point where someone may be prone to pointing out my semi-obsessiong with Tony Bourdain. Then thing with Bourdain is that I've pretty much admitted that if I were to hang out with him I'd probably get him to hook us (and out entourage) up with decent seats and meal at one of his friends restaurants, then find some dive bar to go to with a "crappy" punk band and drink all night. You know, hanging out doing normal people things, talking about normal people things (well as normal as a guy who travels around the world can be). People seem to forget that celebs are regular people (well not reality TV stars.....they're just dumb) and probably want to hang out and do regular people things.

So all in all, MJ dying is sad. But its nothing to lose sleep over. Besides, I doubt people are going to be running around crying as much in 2 weeks. go figure

Adventures in eating Sushi

2009-07-02T22:50:00.004-04:00

So I once read an article, or maybe it was a blog entry by Anthony Bourdain. In it he talks about how he places bets with the members of his production staff (especially new ones) about when the first person is going to get sick on any given shoot for an episode of No Reservations (well they do it when in other countries). 99% of the time Tony picks the breakfast buffet at the hotel because, as he so bluntly points out, you can't always trust that food and you shouldn't eat food you can't trust. Almost every time a member of the production crew eats the hotel breakfast buffet and sure enough they get sick.

Last week, I totally disregarded that word of advice and I paid for it dearly. For a while I had a bit of a craving for sushi. I have no clue how that craving started because I've only had sushi once back in November. But I had a craving nonetheless. My forary into eating Sushi here in Grand Rapids started out fine enough. I mentioned my craving to one of my friends who I went to Culinary school with the first time, and she mentioned that Jonny's Cafe at Calvin College (where she works) had a sushi bar on Tuesdays and that its pretty authentic. So a week or so later, I finally made it in (it probably helped that it was 90 degrees that day and hanging out in A/C is always a good thing). I had sushi and it kicked ass. I'm totally going again when I have a chance.

Needless to say, that is not what made me sick. What made me sick is two days later I was at the grocery store getting something to eat for dinner. I saw the grocery store made sushi and got a small bit of desire to buy it. A little voice in the back of my head was saying "don't do it, you know you want Potato Wedges instead!" a little voice which I then told to "fuck off" (bad decision). I bought the sushi, took it home and scarfed it down. And I seemed fine.

The next day I felt off. One of the classes I'm taking is bowling. Normally I can break 100 and even make it up to 120. (and today I got 143) But I was sucking due to feeling totally out of it. After class I met my dad for lunch and my trademark appetite seemed to be missing. After lunch I went to my aunts house to hang out (god bless A/C). Eventually I told her I was feeling like crap and upon mentioning I felt like I almost had to puke she said that making myself puke might help me feel better.

Thust started a 30 minute ordeal which has probably been the worst 30 minutes for me in the past 19 years. Seriously kids, I don't get sick and when I have puked, its because I've drank too much. After I finally felt I couldn't puke anymore, I grabbed an empty trash can and told her I was taking a nap and plopped down in my cousins bed. Naturally I woke up feeling much better.

Its funny though cause I tell people that story and the unadventerous ones always snarkily ask me "I bet you aren't going to be eating sushi anytime soon?" and its like "why not?" I'm not letting one bad experience turn me off. I ate bad food, I puked, it happens. I'd much rather be adventerous and puke than sit at home eating crappy fast food.

I seem to have the impecable luck of being an adventerous picky eater. I want to try a ton of stuff yet there are still things I won't eat. Despite that I have no learned an important lesson. No more eating food that can make you sick if its not being made someplace trustworthy

Old Memories and the journey from now to then

2009-06-01T16:28:00.003-04:00

So for the first time in ages I've listened to the Ataris (the pop-punk/rock band). I don't know what compelled me to listen to them, but I did. For those of you who don't know, I some what credit them for getting me into most the bands I'm into now. I forgot how I orginally got into the Ataris, but for the longest time I wanted to see them and would always see when they were comining close to little old Holland, MI. They never really did, but I would pay attention to who they toured with, sometimes I like the bands, sometimes I didn't. During these inquiries into who they associated themselves with, I discovered a little label you may know as Fat Wreck. And inevitibly I fell in love with NOFX, No Use for a Name and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. And now I was following four bands, which led to the Epitaph bands and so on. But the Ataris have always been one of the first I "discovered" (after Blink 182 which I didn't so much discover as I did hear Whats My age again? over and over).

Eventually I saw them back in 2004 shortly before I moved to Lansing which is when I slightly soured to them. I had met up with my friends Ben, Brittany, Robert and later Jim (all whom I met off the Ataris Message Board...ha)(I had previously met Ben when his band played in GR) for the show. Brittany and Robert has been to a whole slew of the Ataris mid west shows and had met most the band and the crew and found out where there bus was which is where we headed after the show. And we pretty much got snubbed by the band. Mike, The bass player had already come and gone, Chris, the drummer stopped long enough to thank Ben for saying the show was good, Kris, the lead singer/gutarist walked by grumbling something, and then finally John, the other guitarist came out. He recognized Brittany and Rob and stopped to talk for a bit, and thanked us all for coming. Which made my night. I was bummed about the rest of the band and like I said, it kind of slightly soured the experience for me. Later I had found out that a few things had gone wrong that day and they were ALL just in a crummy mood. So for a while I was just kind of bleh. And things didn't get better when they released their nex cd. I didn't really like it as much and thats when I kind of stopped listening to them.

But today, I randomly decided to listen to them on my Ipod which brought me back to to that show almost 5 years ago. The Timmy back then was so clueless as to what he wanted to do or even what he had to do when he got there. Here we are 5 years later. The end of my college career is in sight and the options are plentiful from there. I have some ideas, I have some goals, but it goes to show how things can change. I'm happy with how things turned out. Part of me wishes I would've stuck with culinary school back in the day, but at the same time I don't think I was at the right time in my life to deal with at. With all the stuff I've dealt with since then like Aspergers and all the crashing and burning and more or less maturing, I think I'm much better prepared to deal with stuff now.

(on a bright note, word on the street is that the next Ataris CD is supposed to be a step back in the right direction.ha)

Future Goals

2009-05-14T08:28:00.003-04:00

Once again I havn't posted in a while. But I think thats okay, I'm trying not to make this a blog posting random stuff about nothing....thats what my myspace blog is for.

One of my younger cousins just graduated from college out in CA and my aunt and uncle went out there. For a while now, my cousin seems to freaking out because she didn't know what see was going to do afterwords, but at the same time hasn't been really looking into anything. I mean, okay, so you've come to the conclusion you're not really into what you just went to college for, but since you spent all that money on it you should probably look into doing SOMETHING. Now I guess she's going to Denver to live with a friend and to learn how to sew. Which on the one hand is totally awesome. Having a hobby like that would be pretty cool. BUT she still has no plan what to do after that.

And here's where the main catalyst for this post happens. My Aunt Sally turned around and asked me what I planned on doing when I graduated. (which could be in December or it could be in May...long story). I replied that I wasn't totally sure, but that I'd hope to have those wheels start spinning soon. Weather I know what I'm going to do or not, I have ideas, and dreams and hopes. And places I would like to go. If anything, its the fact that theres too many chocies for me to make a decision.

As for the things I'd like to accomplish, well its nothing grand. I have no big delusions of granduer or anything. As long as I can succeed in what I'm doing and don't crash and burn I'll be content. With that in mind, who DOESN'T want to get somesort of recognition? I would hope not to fade into obscurity. Who knows.

The big thing for me is the "WHERE." All I know is I want to to get out of Grand Crapids. I mean, its a good town but the options for food industry sucks right now. And I'm SOOO ready for a change of scenery. I've pretty much narrowed it down to one of the smaller big cities in America, or maybe somewhere in another country. See, its too hard to decide. The problem with moving to another country is that it will pretty much mean leaving EVERYONE behind. And I'm not sure if I want to do that. Moving across the country is one thing, but across the ocean, thats another. I wouldn't want to get held back over something as simple as missing friends, but I need some sort of support system where ever I go. Decisions, decisions.

I guess maybe this isn't as simple of a thing as I thought. I guess I've come to the conclusion that if anything, looking into the future is scary. Fascinating

End of the Semester!

2009-04-28T16:57:00.003-04:00

So I finished the semester last week and with the exception of work (and some yard work for the parents), I've spent the past 5 days doing nothing. I'm really at a loss at what to write right now. Pretty much it came down to copying and pasting the Facebook note I wrote about the Blind Basket or my obsevation on Flay and Bourdain. I figured that I would re-post the Blind Baskte on to shed some closure on all the posts I'd made about school.

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for those of you who don't know I had my practical exam last night. It was hectic and kinda stressful and exhilarating and exciting all at the same time.

It was like an episode of Chopped (kinda). We go in, Cheff Dunn gives us our items that we have no idea of what they are ahead of time and then are let loose. It went great. I probably could've worked cleaner and been more organized. But thats me. My whole life is perpetually slightly untidy so yeah.

Our items were 1 chicken breast, 1 duck breast, a fillet of fish (I totally forgot what kind it was), 2 grains from the grain cart and half a tomato (they were left over from the graduation dinner and chef wanted to get rid of them I guess). And at least an ounce of cheese.

For my soup I ended up doing the Vegan Miso soup like I did last time. I didn't see any leeks in the walk in when I first ran in (my original idea was to do vicyssoise), so I figured why mess with a good thing. IT wasn't until I had gotten well underway with it that I went in the walk in looking for cucumbers for the original plan for my salad that I saw leeks and got kind of mad at myself for missing them. But it happens. Regardless, I knocked out the soup but didn't really do a garnish other than chopped chives (most which splashed out en route to chef :(.

My salad I ended up doing a duck salad. I chopped up the tomato to serve as the base. then put mixed greens in a red wine vinagerette. I origininally was going to smoke the duck breast but I kinda lit the smoker on fire. No seriously, I opened it up and there was a small little fire down by the wood chips. Luckily for me, one of the adujunct staff members was in the kitchen putting together a hoers douveres menu and she helped me put it out (so to my knowledge chef never found out). In stead I ended up slicing the duck meat and sauteeing it then putting it on the salad and grated the cheese on top.

My appetizer I wasn't happy with. I grilled the chicken, sliced it and then cooked the polenta and put it in a small cup. Not very inspiring. bleh.

My entree I was real happy with. I cooked rice for my starch. Sauteed the fish, then made a veloute sauce and put it over the fish. Then I sauteed (and slightly burnt) asparagus.

For my soup he said that the miso soups are normally garnished with black soy beans, or seaweed, but otherwise the soup itself was MUCH better than the practice. My salad he said he liked and that I redeemed myself with my dressing. The chicken and polenta tasted good. He agreeed with me to do a different presentation, to which I pointed out that if I were to do it again I'd probably incorperate the tomatoes in there somehow. The entree he liked. My fish was slightly over cooked, and he liked the veloute. But went on to point out that one of the faults that they as teachers made was that they taught us how to make it, but didn't teach us how to use it. And that most chefs would use it to make another sauce. So yeah, that wasn't my fault.

Oh and then we were supposed to tourne two potatoes but I totally forgot. Oops heh.

All in all I was happy with things (except the appetizer). Chef thought they tasted good and said that since the practice Blind Basket I improved the most!

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Overall I was happy with how I did, and how much I improved. Also afterwards I think I bonded a little more with some of my classmates. After he tasted our food we were able to go into the dining room and eat it. And seriously, the 10 or so minutes I was in there eating just shooting the shit with my classmates was probably one of the more entertaining 10 minutes of the quarter. Seriously if this is what my future holds as far as the socializing aspects are concerned (eating and conversing with other cooks/chefs) then I'm totally pumped for this business.

Life continues on

2009-03-27T07:42:00.004-04:00

Where to begin, where to begin?

Well, its the end of the third week of service and things are alright. I'm feelng slightly more confident about myself when it come to cooking so I suppose thats a good thing. Now all that needs to be done is to find a job. ha.

This week Devers and I were on the prep station. Like the name pretty much implies, we prepped stuff for other stations when needed. ALSO, we made an amuse bouche. We havn't been ambtious as people have been some weeks (I.E. the last two groups made a new one every day. We ran the same one Tuesday and Wednesday, and then switched last night), but we knocked out some good ones. Hell, anything that gets me to eat a cucumber has got to be good.

Last night I was on my own, Devers had a hot date, and it went great. Granted Devers had tasked a few other people in class to make sure I didn't totaly crash and burn, but I was pretty independent all night. And I make a pretty damn good amuse bouche. ha. It was also a pretty interesing night due to the absence of Chef Dunn (as well as Miss Heckwell, the Advanced Table Service instructor). I can't remember where either of them were, BUT to subsitute for them we had Chef Angus and Mr. Schultz, the morning Heritage instructors.

As many of my friends know, I totally look up to Chef Angus, ALOT. So it was a big thrill to have him teaching. Things went pretty well. The fun part of the night was when we got the inevitable quickfire. People were certain we wouldn't get one this week due to Chef Dunn being gone. But we got one. Angus did his a little different. With the help of the sous chefs he gathered enough tomatos for each person to have one, then gathered avacados for each person to get a half. Then measured out a half a cup of olive oil for everyone. Then he explained that that was all we'd get along with ONE citrus fruit and one type of herb. Only in the initial rush for the items all the oil got knocked off the table. So in the midst of cleaning it up, Angus seperated all the items and then section by section told us to get our avacado's and tomatos and herbs. And then someone randomly passed out the fruits. I got a lime. Overall I did okay. He liked my presntation, but I didn't win. Oh well. It happens.

With the exception of Advanced Food Production, I'm just ready for school to be done with for the semester. I'm seriously getting mentally worn out and kind of just need a breather. bleh.
Thats life. I've officially decided that once I graduate in Decemeber regardless of what I do, I'm seriously taking like a week long break, sleeping in every day, watching movies, reading, whatever.

Noteable Quotes:

"Chef Dunn said you were a great class. It really means alot if a second year advanced cooking lab says you're a great class."
~Chef Angus, shortly before the quickfire

"So much for being a great class"
~Amber after the oil got knocked over

"Wow, you can sure tell pasta was on sale?"
~me on my food cupboard

"Hey, want to see some chef porn?
~me to Jake on the article in Bon Appetit about the outdoor kitchens

"Good job tonight"
"I don't think we did well"
"Didn't you win?"
"No we got beat....by alot"
"oh yeah, oops wrong team. Sorry"
~My semi drunk ass to a member of the Bleeding Heartland rollergirls

"For what its worth, I never actually pay atention to the score. Especially when I'm scorekeeping multiple games"
~My semi legitimate defense at kinda being a dick

"This is good if I can make myself forget I'm eating a cucumber"
~Me on our amuse

The new term

2009-03-12T21:49:00.004-04:00

So like I've explained before, the culinary classes only run half the semester so shortly before Spring Break (or the Thursday before) I started Advanced Food Production. For those who don't know, Advanced Food Production runs the the kitchen for the Heritage (the on campus restaurant) at night. The Thurs and Fri before break, and then Mon through Weds this week we did prep, but tonight (Thurs) was our first day of service.

To rewind for a bit, the class is really intense. Along with cooking for the restaurant, Chef Dunn does try to teach us stuff when possible. Chef is a vegan, but he doesn't have any alterior motives of trying to make us see his view. If anything he does try to get us to understand where our food comes from and how it gets there. Like wise our homework is to visit a bunch of informational links and write about them, and also to post thoughts (and responses to other peoples thoughts) . So yeah, its pretty nice

So tonight was our first night of service and it went alright. For the most part I let Devers (Adam my station partner) take lead and I just helped him. Due to the lack of actual restaurant experience I'm still kind of shakey and not too sure of myself. But I'm sure to pick it up. We really only messed up once and that was due to the expeditor mis calling something.

Anyway, at the end of the class Chef called a demo. Now let me rewind for a bit. The first day of class he mentioned everynow and then (or at least once a week) he calls something called a quickfire. Long story short, in a quickfire he'll have you make an appetizer of your choice. Most times if he has alot extra of something he'll have you use that as the main part of it. So when he called the demo we all started to suspect something. When I made it back to the table I noticed he was fiddling with something so right then and there I took a step towards the walk in. Then he called it. Luckily for us all we had to do was make any appetizer and then only thing we were limited by was that we couldn't use anything already prepped.

My proximity to the cooler made me one of the first people in. After I cleared my head for a few seconds (and the rest of the class caught up with the 4 of us who made it in first, I grabbed mushrooms, garlic and red pepper. I left the walk in to avoid the mad rush and realized I had NO CLUE what I wanted to do. I then grabbed some yukon potatoes and decided to make roasted potatoes only I was worried about time. I minced the garlic and took some oil and let it sweat in a sauce pan. Then chopped up the peppers and cut the potatoes into chunks and threw it all in an oven. The rest of the time is a blur, but I do remember the Advanced Table Service class AND the dishwashers AND a few of the banquets class getting a kick of watching us all run around like chickens with our heads cut off. Overall mine turned out okay. It didn't win, but chef thought it worked to an extent. Crazyness.

So yeah, now I'm home. HAvn't really done much I think Zigs is off playing basketball who knows. I should take a shower. blah.

Random quotes heard lately:

"Olives are like sex, if you don't like them you havn't tried enough kinds"
~ Chef Dunn

"Pretty much I grabbed the first three things I could think of, ran out of the walk in, grabbed my knives and thought 'now what the fuck am I supposed to do?"
~me on the quickfire

"You're single right?"
"yup"
"ah, you must enjoy it right here getting to check out all the girls"
~Kim and me on what I allegedly will enjoy about being on the front line

"So you never put two and two together as to why I spent so much of my free time in Banquets down by table 1 and 2. All the girls were down there"
~Me on Kim's realization

"Front line, can you hear me? Its me God!"
"Please have mercy on me for not giving any money to the homeles dude!
~Chef testing out the microphone and my response

"I'm fine with having no toliet paper if it means you don't get to take any 30 minute craps"
~Zigs on wether or not we need toilet paper

Spring Break

2009-03-12T14:12:00.003-04:00

Hot Damn....thats all I can say about the past two weeks. Spring Break was a whole lot of nothing. I was too broke and too lazy to do much of anything other than stay home and watch TV all week. Surprinsingly as much as I like going out, it was kind of peaceful. G-spot went on a cruise so me and Zigs took it easy. And by "take it easy" I mean played lots of Rock Band. Zigs has been challenging me to move from Hard to Expert. So far I've only succeded in doing that with bass. But it works.

But on to what you all should really care about....my trip to Petoskey. The drive up was pretty good. Nothin eventful, although there was just kind of a WTF feeling when US 131 stopped being a freeway. The past hour and a half or so was going back and forth betwee 60 mph and 35mph. Bleh

But the visits were fun. Friday afternoon I made it to Walloon Lake and met a little with Golan, the sous chef there. Mark (the executive chef who I had interveiwed with) was on a trip to Napa Valley so he set me up to meet with Golan. Golan just showed me around the country club and then explained what they do. A plus thing for me is that the two spots they're hiring for would be good for someone with minimal experience like me. Also both Golan and Mark are pretty good at accepting reccomendations from the cooks on possible items to make which ALSO works good for me since I seem to have 10 million ideas floating around my head. I guess it was left at that Mark is going to call me when he gets back and either we'll set up a meeting or talk on the phone.

Afterwards I went to my hotel, checked in and then explored town some. Kind of reminds me of Grand Haven with the "quaint little town on the lake feel."

The following morning I made my way to Bay Harbor Yacht Club to do a stage. That was actually pretty fun. This summer they're catering a wedding with an Indian (as in the country India) theme so they were working on recipes for that. So I helped with a few while they took care of lunch orders and then we tried some. That ended up being most the afternoon and then at the end I got the request that I knew would cement my fate. Dan asked me to make two different types of eggs of my choice. And then I shot myself in the foot by saying I only knew how to make scrambled and Hard boiled. To which the line cook standing next to me said "you shouldn't have said that." So Dan said, well make those and then try something else. I seemingly did okay, but I wasn't really happy with it.

Afterwards Dan pulled me in his office and we talked. Overall he said that he like my work habits of cleaning up after myself and that I worked well with others. But overall he didn't think I'd fit in there due to my lack of experience. He said that while I'd do okay that he wanted me to have an experience that I'd succeced and feel well about and that working up there for the summer probably wouldn't provide that. Mostly cause they go from being slow to getting their butts kicked in the cours of 3 days.

So yeah, it sucks. But I understood. Walloon Lake is still an option so when I talk to Mark I'll bring that up. The whole flip side to leaving GR for the summer is that if I stay, I can take summer classes and then be done by this December and explore my options then.

So yeah, that was spring break. My new lab started this week, and its intense, BUT I'll write about that later

I'm alive!!

2009-02-23T15:28:00.002-05:00

I don't know if anybody reads this. If so they've probably thought I've abandoned it. ha.

Not much exciting has gone on lately school wise....or work wise.

I'm just taking lecture classes right now so theres not much worth writing about as the classes aren't even that exciting. Thursday though, I start the next 7 weeks classes. I will be beginning the intense and difficuly yet VERY educational class that is Advanced Food Production. The cooking lab to end all cooking labs at GRCC. They're technically the "BOH" at the night time Heritage. Everyone who I know who has taken the class has pretty much said the same thing. "Its hard. Its intense. You learn alot. And the worst thing you can do is worry too much about it."

So we'll see.

Next week is our spring break. The 6th-8th I'm heading up to Petosky to check out Walloon Lake and Bay Harbor. I think I may actually be staging at Bay Harbor. In the Culinary industry a "stage" is when you actually go work in the kitchen so the chef can acces your skills and see how you get along with everybody. Fun fun. More on that when it happens.

Social wise, things have been getting interesting. About a week and a half ago I went to the BOB. A typical guys night out with me, Zigs, Boersma, Luvva, and Lambers. We made our way down to the nightclub. Like always I was trashed, and like always I made my round on the dance floor. Well things happend, I started dancing with a girl. I have no clue what I said, but I ended up making out with her. Yes, you read that right....this self declared introvert who is socially awkward and nervous around girls, somehow made out with one. So that was fun. I got her number and called her but havn't heard back from her.

Upon telling the story to Jonny he made the great comment of "Its always a good thing when you make out with a girl and don't have to hang out with her afterwards." And THAT my friends is why he's a keeper. Well that and the fact that he was the first person to get me drunk and introduced me to jagermeister

Fast forward to this past Thursday, we went out for Gina's b-day (oh yeah, despite the earlier claim, Zigs and her are back together). We eventually made our way to Taps. I got drunk. (surprise, surprise) and I ended up dancing with a girl. We talked some, I snuck a kiss (no makng out though) and I got her number.

Needless to say I'm kind of on a mental high right now. I think I've somewhat learned that the more you put yourself out there and attempt to talk to girls that the more chance you have of meeting one. Even if it means getting shot down 10 million times.

So theres a new law for Timmy "Try your best to talk to girl. Stop being a pansy"

That is all

The Next Stage

2009-01-22T18:16:00.004-05:00

I. R.I.P.

So I did it, I finally killed my Ipod. Anyone who has hung out with me for any amount of time knows I probably don't take the best care of my electronics. I mean, I bought an almost $200 camera and then the first time I took it out dropped it. And likewise I havn't been too keen on not dropping my Ipod. Actually it still works just fine, but the screen is all fucked up. So who knows, I'll stop by the apple store tomorrow to see how much it will cost. Unfortunately I reall can't afford much more than 50 or so bucks for repair (and THAT was actually supposed to be my beer money for the weekend

II. School

Classes are going well. This seven weeks I have the Intro to Hospitality course, a course that you're supposed to take first (which I didn't), Spanish for the Hospitality Industry (Which is something that may help me in the long run) and then English (which lasts all semester). In the grand scheme of things they aren't too exciting BUT, I am learning interesting stuff.

On an even more interesting note I had 3 interviews about possible summer internships. The first place is Bay Harbor Yacht Club, the second was Walloon Lake Contry Club and the third is Glendevon's restaurant. The first two are up by Petosky and the third is here in GR. I thought I did good at expressing myself, and my history and my strengths and weakness'. So who knows, I sent each of the chefs a quick email saying I enjoyed talking to them and thanking them for the interview. So we'll see.

I really like Walloon Lake. I thought the area was someplace I could fit well, and the job sounded like something I could enjoy. Likewise, Glendevon's is a place that would seem preferable. Not only is it in GR which would mean I wouldn't have to move. But it could possibly evolve into an actuall job. And the had a similar veiwpoint that I do about serving simple food that tastes good.

III. Work

Well....not much new on this front. I've become lazy about job hunting. I think part of it may be that once the second 7 weeks comes around that my schedule will be WAY more crazy.

Regardless, things at the Square are going good. I'm mostly just working mornings. Which kind of sucks cause I can't really sleep in. But oh well. It happens.

I.V. Social life

My social life is kind of FUBAR. I WANT to go out. But I can't afford to alot. And I have 10 million people wanting to do things. I am attempting to go on a psudeo date with a friend of a friend. I have Nicoles birthday, The Derby Awards banquet, and a few other things going on. Luckily if the girl I'm trying to hang out with and I work something out it will be Friday. I'm probably going to become public enemy #1 if I say this, but I'm almost tempted to skip the awards banquet. In the grand scheme of things I think I'd have more fun sledding. Theres a part of me that would enjoy the simple pleasure that sledding would provide. On the flip side I have already comitted to going to the GRRG banquet. And there are a bunch of the derby folk I want to see. I don't know. I kind of feel myself being dragged from both ends.

I'm at this point socialy and mentally where I almost have to do what is best for me. Being the nice guy and all is fun, but sometimes you have to draw a line in the sand. I admit I'm not the most out going guy and that sometimes I bring the lack of communication on myself. But I can't just sit here spendng every waking hour trying to fix it. I have to do what I can and move on (thus another reason for wanting to go hang out with Nicole and the TSM/Beat-Ups/Dynaflo crew). Cause god knows once summer hits, regardless of if I get an internship or not, I'm gonna have to bust a move on my education. IF I don't get an internship my goal for being done is Dec 2009. But regardless of when I graduate, my goal is to get the hell away from Michigan.

Decisions, Decisions.

Stuff

2009-01-11T21:47:00.000-05:00

So the car ended up costing 717 dollars. Which was about $616 more than I could reasonably afford. So once again I ended up borrowing money from my parents. Honestly, when I graduate, I totally just want to say their present to me can be subtracting the money they would've spent on a gift from what I owe them. I hate being in debt. Thats the only downside I had to quitting Mark Maker.

The plus side of being broke is that I start relativly looking at my expenses. And figuring out what I need and what I can live without. In other words, I look at cutting out all the random junk food and pop I buy myself during the day (mostly while at school). Yeah, I fell off the wagon when it came to trying to drink less pop. But now I'm (hopefully) back on. Who knows.

I'm actively in the process of trying to find a second job. I've been trying to go out to fill out 2-3 applications per day during the week. So far I havn't been keeping up on the "2-3 a day" but I have been picking some up. I'm also in the process of sending emails to some of my teachers. I think the advantage I have right now is that I'm early enough in my food career that ANYTHING would be a learning experience for me. I have gotten somewhat more of an interest in baking and maybe pastries some. Yeah, the big bad meat eater is interested in something he doesn't really like (what next, tackling Vegan recipes?) (yeah, when pigs fly)

School is looking up. And somehow I just happened to end up in classes with two people who I've become quite good friends with. Despite the fact they both graduate in May, I have a feeling they are going to be life long friends.....or at least I hope.

And finally in a bit of shocking (or maybe not) new. My apartment is now a home of bachelors. Yes, Zigs is single now. I'm not going to go into details because its not really any of my business too. But it is kind of going to affect the atmosphere of life now. But you know, I think thats why I refered to things as the new normal in my last post. Fun times

The New Normal

2009-01-04T20:43:00.000-05:00

So the new semester begins tomorrow. I am fresh off the high of a succesful first semester back as well as the joy of all umpteen million books I got for Christmas. With a ton of Christmas money (and the last of my lingering b-day money) horded I'm slowly making a "shopping list" so to say of things for our kitchen. Granted I have yet to use the new toy I got for my b-day (my new cast iron pan!) but hell, I can't let that money burn a hole in my pocket too long.

If anything though I'm not looking forward to seven week classes. By the time I get used to things they change. Bleh. But oh well. I have a class with a few of my co-compatriarts from my Banquets class so that should be fun.

Work is work. Thanks to classes switching my work schedule switched. Unfortunately I'm not getting to many night shifts. Which on the one hand is good because night shifts are bussing/dishwashwer shifts), but the night servers are much more fun to work with. But work is work. I'm kinda sorta looking for a second part time job, but I may hold off til the class schedule changes so any work schedule I get can be semi-permanent till the end of the summer. But we'll see.

NYE was a blast.....I think. I drank too much (surprise, surprise) so I don't remember much. ha. But I did get a chance to party at the Amway Grand. I'm sure I got numerous people annoyed with me. But oh well. Thats me.

The only down side was that I now have to get work done on my car. It seems that the wheel of my car broke. I don't know how, all I know is that I was parking my car in front of my apartment, hit a patch of ice, slid half a foot, heard a crack and then the drivers side of my car dropped half an inch. And I got out of my car to check it out and saw that my front drivers side wheel is more or less perpendicular to my car. bleh. My parents thought that it might be the axel or something. So now thats one more thing to stress me out that I don't need....damn

Thats life for you

Winter Vacation?

2008-12-17T16:53:00.000-05:00

So THIS is what it feels like to relax. After going from Mid July to late September without and job and then transitioning transitioning to having to rush around balancing work and school. Its nice to just be able to do nothing for a few weeks.

My written exams were so-so. Actually I did quite well on my Princples exam. Better than I thought I would. I credit it to the fact that I got my head out of my ass pretty early on and asked Chef Angus for some advice and guidance as to what to do. Like I said in an earlier blog, I think the lingering self doubt I sometimes have is what got me the first time through so I was glad to beat that this time. And with that in mind I'm pretty sure I did pretty crappy on my Banquets exam. I knew going into the exam that I had a low B. So part of me wasn't worried. Call me not dedicated enough, and give me all the crap you want for settling for JUST a B. But hell, its better than "settling" for C's and D's like in high school. Oh well.

The presentation I had to do for Principles went as well as you would expect from me. Which means, mass amounts of nervousness, mass amounts of rushing around finishing it and then an "oh fuck it, lets just do it" attitude about 2 seconds before. But I did GREAT. Not any of the stuttering or flusterness I'm known for when I get nervous. I made my points well. Chef Angus loved it. The one person from my class who I ran into a few days later loved it, it went great.

Friday after the catastrophe that was my exam, I went to the bar with some of the people from school....at like 5:30 at night. And this was one of those bars that was also a restaurant. So let me lay it out for you. 15 or so people between the ages of 21-40 + end of the semester + total end of school for some of them + some of them moving away + oh, the fact that you have culinary students who could regularly fill up a swear jar while SOBER = a recipe for trouble. ha. I had actually caught up to them after they had been there for an hour or so and promptly ordered a hamburger (btw, The Cottage Bar KINDA knows how to make Medium Rare). A bunch of them had had a shot just before I got there and then had another one after I had been there 10 minutes. Then someone may have dropped the f-bomb. And there was a family next to us who didn't really like that. And doing what I do best, I was like "screw it" and just ate my hamburger. Eventually they moved. I suppose I should feel kind of bad. But thats life. The other people around us loved us though, so I think it evens it out.

After we kindly and subtley got pressured to leave some of us met up with a few other people at another bar and the drinking continued. Although then I had to be lame and go pick up my sister from the airport. But I think I learned something that night. That I totally should've started hanging out with Culinary folk sooner. It was nice to hang out with people I felt comfortable with and could be myself with. I havn't had enough of that lately other than hanging with Zigs and G-Spot. And furthermore, being done with the semester and the feel good feeling I have from it REALLY reafrirmed my decision to go back to culinary school. While I've come to the conclusion that I may not become the best cook out there, I HAVE regained a sense of direction and idea of where to go in life.

In other news:

~ I have a fan (or fans). Today at work Peter brought up that he had read my blog and saw what I wrote. And to clear the air, he IS African American. In my defense I had worked with someone as dark as him who had a similar accent and was from Central or South America. But oh well. He gave me some good natured ribbing about it but said he didn't mind.

~Still kind of in limbo with work. I'm waiting to see what my schedule will get switched to once I move back to only night availiability. Should be interesting to see

~ I made stock and then Mushroom soup from the Les Halles cook book. Good shit, I took pictures they'll be up soon.

Life

2008-12-06T22:53:00.000-05:00

Damn....its been almost 2 weeks since I've posted. Ironically I don't think many people know about this blog yet, so I guess it works out. ha.

Anyway time to get you all up to speed.

My practical ended up going okay. I was nervous as hell, it was kind of chaotic. But with a few pointers and suggestions (and a slight bit of inspiration) from my table partner I ended up hanging in there and getting an 86 out of 100, which I think works out to be somewhere in the B range. So yeah, I'm happy. Pictures of it will hopefully be around soon.

School in general is going good. Its almost done for the semester and I'm happy with how I did. I seem to be more genuinely interested and enthusiastic than I was the first time around. I am kind of bummed that theres a portion of what I learned before that I havn't retained. But I'm still learning things and and making a forward motion in knowledge and confidence. So I'm hoping I can keep that up. I still have two more big assignments due next week, so once those are past I can relax a bit.

Work is work. Although its been kind of hectic. It seems that two of the guys I was working with both had fake green cards. And so yeah, they both got fired. So things were crazy for a few weeks why they were trying to get everything covered. But now they have one new guy hired and maybe another so things are almost back to normal. I'm kind of hoping that with some of the minor shuffling going on that I can start cooking. But the one thing working against me is my speed so I'm not really sure yet. Maybe I should talk to my boss about that.

Thanksgiving kind of sucked. Due to the afforementioned problems with losing two people, I ended up having to work. Which was SUPER crazy. Yeah, it sucked.

My birthday was okay. I never did end up going out. But I got enough new cookbooks to leave me busy for a few months. Yeah, thats that.

So yeah, thats my last two weeks in a nutshell

Wish me luck!!

2008-11-19T22:39:00.000-05:00

So here we finally come to one of the big humps in this stint of Culinary School. The practical exam. Practicals pretty much consist of combining alot of the skills we've learned into class and using them in a dish. Back when I was in the Skills class this involved doing all the vegtable cuts on a carrot (and then using the said cuts in a salad), make a salad, make a stock, use the stock to make velute. Bone a chicken, use the breasts from said chicken to make a breaded Chicken Cordon Bleu and then combine them all to make a meal on the plate. Its actually alot easier than it sounds although at the time I was scared shitless.

For Banquets and Caterering its a bit more complicated. We have to make two forcemeats (a gallantine and a ballantine), tournet our selected veggies, pick a starch to "mold" as a platform. And then Aspic it all. Aspic'ing is the practice of putting a geletin on it to hold it together. Its used for display purposes and to give it a shine. In other words, a skill we won't be using much in the real world. I'm not too confident in my abilities of making the forcemeats, I suck at tournet'ing and suck at aspicing. On the bright side, I'm good at everything else. So who knows.

My big concern (aka this is where I get contemplative) is that I can sometimes get overwhelmed which sometimes leads to a lack of confidence. Which is ultimately what led to me dropping out the first time. I tend to compare myself to others in class as opposed to just focusing on my own. I've been getting better at asking for help when needed which actually led to a bit of a closer friendship/mentorship from one of my teachers. As well as becoming somewhat good friends with a guy in my class. I need to keep telling myself "I know I can" and as long as I try my best and am not half ass'ing it, then thats what should make me happy.

Work is going good. I'm getting about 22 hrs a week which comes out to about 360 or so dollars every two weeks that I somehow make last. Damn it sucks living pay check to paycheck again. But thats life.

On the brightside, my birthday is in two weeks. Not only (in theory) do I get to get plastered for free. But hopefully I'll be getting a few new cooking related books. Despite being a big Bourdain fan, the Les Halles Cookbook DID NOT make it on the list. Only cause I know that if my mom puts two and two together that thats the "unofficial" cook book of one of my favorite chefs, I won't be getting it till Christmas (thus why I probably won't be getting Mario Batali's Italian Grill until then). So I'm totally using the inevitable b-day money I get to get it. heh

The inevitability of restaurant/culinsary school networking

2008-11-13T15:05:00.000-05:00

"This is what sucks about taking a few years off and then coming back. I don't know anybody and you all know who half the people are in all your classes"

~me to my group partner Steve (during Bakery/Deli Management)

Its a little known fact that if you spend long enough in the restaurant industry that eventually you find yourself hanging out more and more with other restaurant employees. Not just the ones you work with but you find yourself meeting intentionally or un-intentionally other restaurant employees. Either due to the proximity of their restaurant to yours (I.E. back when I was at the Lansing Carrabba's, the Outback next door was a popular post work hang out), or due to the incestous nature of the business (which I'm about to get to in the next sentence). Eventually if you drink the kool-aid and decide you have the lack of sanity to work the rest of the life in the business, these other restaurant workers (especially the ones who also decide to become lifers) pretty much become your lifeblood. I don't know how many instances I've read, either in memoirs of some of the chef's I like, or from hearing from others, where someone has become a chef or sous chef and instantly called everyone they know to get them to work for them. Or vice versa. They are also prone to pass on opportunities, give references, etc etc. You get the picture.

Its much the same way here in Culinary School. Most people (aka not me) start off in the bakery class or Skill Development or Bakery/Deli Management, meet a bunch of people in the class, then switch, have another lab, have some of the same people in their class and some different. And so on. By the end of their first year or so, they're pretty much on their way to knowing half the department. Which works out great as far as networking goes. Between fellow students AND techers its pretty easy to get hooked up with a job upon graduation which works out pretty well.

On the flip side, theres also the dirty realization (at both school and in the professional world) that all your faults or any controveries are also going to be passed around. For instance, my drinking buddy/unofficial wingman Jonny used to be a server at Carrabba's until he got caught screwing with the checks. He would give people their checks at the full amount, they would pay, and if they paid with cash, he would split the checks taking off any coffee's/soft drinks close the non-drink half and have the money go for that, then later he's get an manager to "delete his screw-up" and then keep the money (yes people, one of my best friends was essentially a con artist) After he got fired he applied to Logans and sure enough they called Carrabba's and he didn't get the job. Another example is someone who I currently have (or had) a class with. They have slowly built up the reputation of coming to class in various stages of intoxication and even at times drank some of the alcohol in the walk in. In came to a head yesterday when during our banquet our teacher sent them home. Her problem was so common knowledge that when me and another class mate were talking about it in the locker room today that someone walked in and know exactly who we were talking about.

I think this phenomenon in general is one of those things that is a universal thing to all industries. Only I think that due to the turnover rate and the availiability of opportunities its amped up a bit for the food industry. Its one of those things like our facination with potty humor, and the crazy hours, and our habit of dropping less than polite words and the pressure, that you almost have to get used to. And if not, then you probably don't belong in restaurants. Not trying to be a dick, but thats the way it is.

And like always, this was one of those musings that started off with a thought in my head (aka the conversation in the locker room) and blew up to the blog you're reading now. Fun times

We now interupt this food related blog to show you that yes I DO have non-food related intrests

2008-11-11T15:38:00.000-05:00

So up there in the little blurb under the name of the blog I mention I statskeep for the local roller derby leage, The Grand Raggidy Roller Girls. On top of that I also help the Kalamazoo Derby Dames. I've been doing that a little over two years.

I got involved partially due to watching the short lived series "Rollergirls," but mostly because New Holland Brewing Co, which is where I worked at the time, was one of their sponsers and I went to a bout, got addicted, but also found out that my short attention span when it comes to sports made it hard to watch. So I ended up volunteering and they havn't gotten rid of me since. ha.

At first it was something I just did for fun and to have a chance to meet more people in GR. I was at the cusp of FINALLY moving to GR and wanted to meet more people from the town. But now, I've learned to love the sport itself, and my responsibilites to the point where my cynic nature and my bluntness (I blame the aspergers) gets me in trouble if I point out things too bluntly (I like to call it tough love).

I'm mostly a scorekeeper. Pretty much my invovlement consists of being a hermit from everyone for a month, showing up about an hour and a half before the bout starts (when most volunteers are there for another hour before that), occasionally downing a beer or two (which I'm not really supposed to be doing...but I stand by the fact that it doesn't affect what I do), doing my job, then running off to the afterparty and making a drunkien a-hole of myself.

Despite the fact I don't make many non-bouts appearances, I always do like to remind myself (and others) that the derby folk are almost like a second family with me. Not counting the Calvin folk (Zigs, Boersma etc etc), or APD or Dynalo, pretty much everyone I know in GR I met through derby. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be who I was today if it wasn't for derby. Actually, I might be, but I wouldn't know as many of the same people. Last spring I got voted "Number 1 fan" and my reply was "what the hell for?" Despite my sarcastic assesment of what I do, I don't do it because I'm a fan. I mean I am a fan, but for me, my dedication is mostly because I love everyone involved to death and have fun doing it. The minute it stops being fun for me, is the minute I leave. And despite previous statements I may have made, I don't do it for recognizement (although it would've been damn funny/cool to win the "honorary Derby girl" award).

I guess the point of this blog is kind of a tribute to them. And a thanks to nobody in paticular for making it such a wonderful experience. For putting up with all my cynical comments, and my drunken tomfoolery. And a special thanks to those who I have become super close friends with.

~Tim aka The Jager Bomber.

Hooray for school!

2008-11-04T12:37:00.000-05:00

"Ha....now they could make sausage out of him"
~me, on the Simpsons Halloween special when Krusty gets knocked into a wood grinder

Its about time I felt compelled to write a blog.

Anyway things are progressing really well at work and school. Training to work morning dishwashing shift was an utter disaster. Ok, not really. It went alright. But, I don't have the speed. Its another one of those catch 22. I probably won't work regular day time dishwashing shifts till I can get faster, yet I won't get faster unless I work regular day time shifts. But thats okay, cause I've been getting prep shifts too. So it works out.

School has been VERY interesting. Last week we made force meats (and this week we finally got to eat them). We also made sausage (which is a force meat). And when I say "made" I don't mean cook. I mean we actually started off when beef. Cut it in to smaller pieces, grind them, mix with spices, then grind again and then put into casings (aka pig intestines). Fun shit.

Today we're supposed to be doing ice carving. While I really don't have much artistic talent. The prospect of ice carvin sounds interesting. So I hope its something I'll enjoy.

Anyway, I HAVE PICTURES. Only they're not on my computer yet so I'll put them up later

The new status quo

2008-10-24T15:10:00.000-04:00

"So whats your school schedule like"
"Monday through Thursday 2pm-9:45PM and then Friday 4:15-9:45pm"
"Woah...thats almost like a 40hr week of school"

~Lindsay and Me at Mulligans.

Wednesday night I went to Mulligans. My friend Joel had entered a piece into an PBR inspired art show and Lindsay was going. So when I drunk dialed her on Sunday night she made me promise to come. Which is kind of ironic, the last time I saw Joel and Lindsay was the day I got "fired" from Graydons, in otherwords when my life was spriralling into hecticness and stressfulness. Now that I'm on the upswing of that low point, I'm finally seeing them again. Joel didn't win the contests BUT I did get two free PRB t-shirts so thats a plus. I love PBR. Which is kind of funny. I mean all my other favorie beers: Killians, Guiness, Zoomer, Poet. Dirty Bastard: are all more heavier beers and then there's PBR. Oh well, regardless I have two free PBR shirts and you don't (unless you were there).

My new classes are pretty interesting. Principles of Food Preparation more or less covers the science of food (like for intstant, we all know yeast reacts faster with warm water, Principles covers WHY it reacts with water....among other thing). Its going to be an intense 7 weeks with that class and alot of hard work. But I have Chef Angus so it will be fun and SUPER informational (at least per Chef Whitman).

Also I have Banquets and Catering, and get this, it covers how to cook for banquets and catering. heh. Also we'll learn more garde manger techniques as well as how to make sausage and a little bit of ice carving. Interesting shit. One of our big assignments is for our groups to cater an event. My groups is doing a smaller dinner for a group of 8 people. Yeah, part of me wanted to try to do one of the bigger ones. But at least with a small group I have an easier time learning the more practical skills. Besides I have a feeling that all our groups may still do prep and cooking for the big events. But pretty much all we've been working on are the initial planning (I.E. menu's, table setups etc etc) for those. Next week though we actually get to start cooking so I'm looking forward to that.

Things on the work front are great. I'm steadily getting about 20 hrs a week now. And Shawn has a semi-official morning schedule set up for me. I've also been getting regular prep shifts so at least I've been doing SOME thing with food. So no complaints there.

All in all, life I know it has changed, and those changes are good.

The Workplace Rundown: Part 1

2008-10-22T09:03:00.000-04:00

"Did you take the bakeshop clas yet?
"Yeah"
"Did you like it...are you good at baking?"
"Um...I liked it, but I'm not a fan of baking
"heh....neither am I"

~Me and Chef Shawn during my interveiw

I think that question during the interveiw, which was close to the end is when I first got a good feeling about wether or not I'd get the job. It also finished establishing the small little kinship me and Shawn kinda feel due to both going to Culinary School at GRCC. I'd like to say that in the long run Shawn is going to be the chef that ends up being a mentor and an inspiration to me. Every chef/cook has them. Bourdain had Bigfoot, Ramsey had Marco Pierre White, and so on. The downside to that theory is that I've really only worked one day when Shawn was there. So its not really proveable yet

The person I have worked alot with is Peter, the Sous-chef. He (along with Shawn) fit the whole Michael Symon mold of being a chef. In other words the guy you can't really see as a chef cause he's skinny (Symon totally got asked that during an episode of Dinner: Impossible). But he's super nice and he's black. I suppose I should use the more PC term of "African American". but I'm not totally convinced he's from Africa because he does have somewhat of an Central america type accent. Both days I've done prep he's been working and he has taken me somewhat under his wing in terms of teaching me stuff. Also we talked a little about adoption (he asked which of my parents was the white one, and which was the black one, and obviously I told him I didn't know because I was adopted) so that was kind of neat to connect with him a little.

Both Shawn and Peter have one or two shifts a week doing the cooking at nights, but other wise I work with Elvis, Steve or Tom.

Elvis actually isn't his realname. At this point I'm not really sure what it is, but oh well. I hang out with roller girls. I should be used to not knowing peoples real names. Like me, he is kind of quiet so we havn't talked alot out side of the normal work talk. But like most the people I work with, he's nice and is always fun to work with.

Steve and Tom are both a bit more outgoing so I've talked a little more to both of them. Also they both trained me (along with Elvis). So I've gotten to know them somewhat.

Then theres Justin who I've probably gotten to know the best. He's a big Obama supporter which became evident as he got in a semi-heated debate with Don about Obama and Mc Cain. He also trained me for a few days so he showed me the ropes to say. He's mostly just Kitchen Help as well as serving every now and then.

And finally theres Sergio. I've never worked a shift with him. But I've seen him on the tail end of his shifts. He seems pretty nice. But having never actually worked with him, I havn't really talked to him at all. Oh well.

Thats that

Update on life!

2008-10-13T20:36:00.000-04:00

Time to get everyone up to speed. It seems like ages ago when its only been 2 weeks since I got the job. Alot seems to has happened since then. There seems to be a big debate among blog writers about how much to reveal when they write about thier life. Some like to be more vauge in terms of deniability and to avoid the spector of "talking behind peoples back." While some are cool with being more open. Me, I'm going to be kind of more in the middle. For now I'm not going to reveal the name of the place I work. If you know me in person I'll probably tell you. But yeah, I'll be more open with names and what not. If anything, its easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

Anyway, like I said, I have a job at a retirment center which I'll refer to as "The Square." I got hired in as Kitchen Help, but per my boss will get trained as a cook soon. Not the most exciting of jobs, but I'm not complaining. The job consists of doing a minor bit of prep work for breakfast, filling up the water jugs, then setting the table with the jugs, butter, half and half and crackers, washing dishes, bussing the soup bowls, and then washing dishes like crazy and hope you can stay caught up enough so that by 7;15ish or so the servers can re-set the tables. And belive me folks, its easier said than done. Regardless, thats been my life 4 days a week for about 4 hrs a day, which is the down side. Its a part time job, but it works for now.

Everyone I work with is nice. For the most part everyone is willing to help when needed. There isn't much of the semi-traditional antagonistical relationship between FOH and BOH. And the managers are decent and approachable people. The residents I've met are pretty nice too. One of the first ones I've met and talk to from time to time is Evelyn. She reminds me alot of my Grandma in that the first question she asked me was "Are you single or married?" and then went on to tell me who of the other kitchen helpers/cooks were single. Another was Bob, who is apparently prone to giving the kitchen folk pop. I have been warned about a few of the more irateable one. But I havn't run into any yet.

School is going great. I survived working the cashier station as well as the front line. I kicked butt on the fry station the whole week and kind of just watched the chaos unfold from having "Mr I've never grilled a hamburger before" (aka the dude without a sense of urgency) on the grill. Actually it was chaotic on my end too. But Chef and a few people from other groups helped too.

This 7 weeks is coming to a close so its going to be a whole new beginning in a week or so. Fun times.

The Last Supper

2008-10-10T08:01:00.000-04:00

Well here it is "The Last Supper" post so to speak. The last time I cooked for myself with out the lingering worn out feeling from work, without the hectic feeling of going to school then straight to work and then back home to squeeze inwatching TV with Zigs. And once again I know I don't have it as bad as some cooks.

The dinner in question was Parmesean Breaded Tilapia with Roasted Potates. This was one of those "recipes" so to say that was partially new to me. I've made part of it before (the potatoes) but the fish was an idea that I pulled out of my butt. It sounded good and upon looking it up online and finding a recipe done by Rachel Ray (ugh...F'n Rachel Ray), I figured it could be done.

In light of the fact that I don't want to be one of those blog writers that regularly write recipes (coupled with the fact that I really don't know the exact measuerments). I'm going to stay away from the traditional "Post the recipe, then explain how to do it in pictures" method. I'm just going to post the pictures and explain. So enjoy.

First you start off with potatoes. Like a good pound or two. Actually depending on how hungry everyone is a pound could easily feed two to three people

Then you take your trusty knife (represented here by my new toy, my santaku knife which I finally gave in a bought), and cut them into little pieces. Depending on the size of the potato, you can cut them into fourths or sixths. Then you take said pieces and put them in a bowl

After that you take your spices and put them in the bowl too. The recipe I used said "a mixture of Italian spices." Here I have Parsley, Mint, Crushed Red Pepper, Oregano, Parmasean Spice mix and some mixed Italian Spices. So yeah, use what ever. Pretty much just use them to taste. Theres no set amount I use

Then you take Olive Oil and lemon juice (which I didn't have when I made these) and put them in the bowl.

Then you toss it all. Pre-heat the oven to 375 degrees throw it in for 30 minutes or so and then you have something that looks like this:

So while thats cooking you start on your fish. Actually though if you're me you drink this:

Then you do your fish. (sorry, couldn't resist)

Start by putting some flour on a plate

Then crack some eggs, beat them, and put them on a plate

Then your breading

When I made it, used a mixture of Parmesean cheese and regular read crumbs you can get at the store

All in all, your counter should look something like this. Then take your fish, dredge it (aka totally cover it) in the flour, then dip it in the eggs, then cover it with the bread crumbs. A little trade secret is to use one hand for the dry ingredients (Flour and Breading) and one hand for the eggs, so you don't bread your hand.

At this point it should look like this. So then you just throw it on the pan and cook.

Cook to your desired doneness. At some point while this is happening the potaoes should get done. And badda bing, badda boom you have your dinner

Ta Da!!

Contemplations

2008-10-05T08:11:00.000-04:00

Cross post from my Myspace Blog:

You gotta appreciate the catch 22 of having a job. I mean having a job gives you money. Then the said money allows you to afford to be able to go out and hang out with your friends. Only once you're done with work, you're too tired and out of it to do anything. Granted I don't have it as bad as most cooks. But all I wanted to do was to spend yesterday hanging out with the posse (my semi-drunken name for Zigs, Gina, Paul and Marcy) for pulaski days. But I had to work. I got out at 8 made it to the hall by 8:20, made it to the front of the line by 9:45 only to find out I was in the wrong line. Luckily Dewiit who informed me of the decision was at the front of the right line and he let me cut. I felt bad about it, but I have a feeling half the people behind him cut anyway, oh well. I made it in only to have the posse being ready to head out. Boersma was there so I talked to him and Sheri (his wife) and Dewitt. So yeah that was my grand time at Pulaski Days. Hooray.

Work is okay I guess. I'm still trying to figure out the ropes. Everyone I met is nice. Jim, the manager of the entire retirement center, is one of those types that you're not quite sure what mood he's in because he literally always has the same vocal inflection. But regardless he seems pretty nice. Shawn, the head chef, could litteraly play a younger verstion of Eric Ripert. All he'd need to do was pick up Ripert's accent. He literaly does have the same body language as Ripert (from what little I've actually seen of him on tv). All the cooks and servers I've met are nice so far. My one problem is I still have to pick up the speed. Today (Oct 5) is going to be a real test. Depending on who you ask either I'm by myself (per Shawn), or I'm going to have someone else there just in case I get flustered and behind (per Elvis one of the cooks). But if someone else is there I'll still be running the ship by myself. So we'll see. I'll have to be on my A game.

I have a sneaky suspicion that my main days off will be Monday and Wednesdays. Only because I have class right up till 4 and thats when my shift would start. In the long run it actually somewhat works out because Wednesdays are laundry day and I have a bunch to do.

GOOD NEWS!!

2008-10-01T22:16:00.000-04:00

GUESS WHAT!!!

I GOT A MOTHER F'N JOB FINALLY!!

After, what, almost 3 months of searching I got a job. It wasn't at the place I had an interview on Thursday. But it was from last week's batch of applications. I had an interveiw yesterday (Tues) which I felt VERY good about. And then today at the beginning of class I got a phone call. I recognized the number as the place and quicked ran into the bathroom and took it and got offered the job. And so I start tomorrow.

Its a job at a retirement home. I'm going to start off doing dishwashing and food preping and occasionaly serving and food running if needed. And then eventually work my way up to cook. Not the most exciting of jobs. But the people seem nice and it will give me practical experience in cooking.

Hell in this economy, it doesn't pay to be picky. And considering that one of my heroes (Chef Mendoza, formerly of Morimoto NYC) is in the whole "I need a job and have only gotten a couple calls from the 2 dozen or so resumes I sent in" boat, I shouldn't complain.

In other news, the cashier station in class has gone pretty good this week (*knock on wood*). Monday I got the short end of the stick and ended up on the busiest register. And I had no real problems. So I was like, "f' it" and stayed there Tuesday and then today. Which caused our teacher to get on the other guys case until they pointed out I WANTED to. Tomorrow I'm gonna try and get on the slow side though. Just so I can gather my thoughts for work.

On an even better note, I ran into one of my better friends from Graydon's today. In class actually. It got to be to about 10 til 1 (the cafe closes at 1pm) and out of no where we got a final big push. I looked up with this exasperated look only to see her standing there. We actually both looked up at the same time, both got this shocked look on our face and then I regained my compsure and waited till she made her way up. It was nice and it totally made my day.

So thats this week in a nutshell. Yesterday I made what ended up being my "last supper" as an unemployed wanna-be cook. And I documented it. So that should be up soon. Why I don't want this blog to turn into one of those blogs where every entry is a new recipe. I may do it from time to time.

Man vs Himself

2008-09-28T21:31:00.000-04:00

So I'm seriously close to the breaking point when it comes to finding a job. I'm just sick of it. I kind of have an unhealthy pattern going on of spending a week being gung ho about it and then a week of being apathetic. And its kind of at that point where I need to be gung ho ALL the time. Also its at the point where I need to make a decision to either go all out finding a morning/early afternoon job or be fuck it, drop out of my night lab (and try to get in a morning class) and then be gung ho about finding a job.

On a bright note, I had a job interview on Thurs. As far as the interview itself, I felt it went good. I conversed with the manager well. I tried to portray my experience level as well as possibile. But as far as wether or not it was well enough to get me a job, we'll see. If I havn't heard by Tuesday I'll give them a call. Wish me luck.

School is going good. Althogh next week is going to be the week from hell for me. I get to work the cashier. My last run as a cashier (when I worked at a comic shop back in 2006) didn't go so well. I got flustered and super nervous which inevitably led to a bout of stuttering. Not looking forward to it. Oh and I have a test tomorrow in Bev Management. And I got overwhelmed by the material so I havn't really studied much (oops)

So we'll see. This time next week I may be singing a different note.

Breaking and Making addictions

2008-09-17T23:15:00.000-04:00

So lately I've been trying to break my self proclaimed "addiction" to pop (or soda). Partially because I can't be affording to spend extra money on it. And partially because if I'm not going to excercise worth a damn, I might as well lower my calorie intake. I say try because I still have pop when I'm at school. I mean, damn, I'm in a class that stimulates a cafe/deli. So that means access to a fountain pop machine, which means free pop for me. Oh well, a guy can try.

On the flip side, since moving in with Zigs, its seems I've been getting more addicted to Rock Band, Guitar Hero, and GTA 4. Lets face it folks, I'm a video game nerd (and a comic geek). So when I have access to new video games, I like to play them alot. Zigs keeps getting on my case about getting better at GH and RB. But nothing beats driving around Liberty City and causing chaos. The downside is that the cops AI have gotten slightly better. At least now they shoot you instead of just trying to ram you off the road. Unfortunately they're also not dumb enough to follow you off ramps to their death. Oh well.

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In more productive news. The job hunt is bleh. I'm majorly stressing. I just want an F'n job. I mean I hate working just as much as the next guy and wish I could just do whatever I want all day for free. But I can't. And I want more hands on experience. Blah

Oh yeah....I'm in school, aren't I?

2008-09-17T06:22:00.000-04:00

School is going well. Currently I’m taking two classes. Bakery/Deli Management (aka Art and Bev’s) and Beverage Management.

In B/D Management we pretty much run Art and Bev’s. A and B’s is one of the student run food establishments on campus. The class is supposed to help simulate running an actual café/restaurant. While our teacher makes the main menu, the students are in charge of making everything and down the road will be responsible for proposing and making specials and what not. Week 1 of class was spent setting everything up and getting people assigned to their initial stations. Pretty boring if you ask me. Week 2 (last week) Art and Bev’s actually opened to the student population. And so far its gone pretty good if you ask me. My group is on the wrap/salad station. During service it also serves as the prep station since everything is made before hand. We’re kind of at that point now where since we’ve been open for a couple of days that we don’t have to do that much when it comes to making salads and wraps. But we do stay slightly busy making stuff for the front line. But like I said, the class is pretty interesting. I really appreciate the fact that I have a chance to get used to being in a kitchen environment without being in a straight up restaurant. Also I am REALLY looking forward to eventually getting experience on the grill (albeit a flat top), broiler and fry stations so I can have some familiarity with them when I hopefully get a job.

Beverage Management is also interesting looking. The class starts off with getting us our serve safe certification for Beverage service. If you’re serv safe certified, it apparently means you’re bad ass and know the federal laws and what not concerning the service of alcoholic beverages. The rest of the class is apparently spent on the different types of beer and wine and what foods they go good with. I only have the class two days a week so I really can’t drone on it as much as I could A and B’s

What came before

2008-09-10T23:39:00.000-04:00

So when it comes to life, its kind of almost a travesty to keep an account of where I'm going without giving you an account of where I've been. Seeing as how I'm attempting to log my "adventures" in line cooking and culinary school and beyond, its almost fitting that I give you a brief history of my previous "Adventures".

I. The Aspiration
My first forray in to the restaurant industry was in June 2001. I had just finished my first year of college at Calvin College and decided I needed a job. And not only a job, but a job in GR so when I went back to school I could keep it. It this time gas was relatively cheap (Upper $1-lower $2 range I think) so it was really just an afterthought. I ended up opening up a paper and seeing a place called Carrabba's was opening and was hiring staff. So I went in applied for busser or dishwasher. They were having open interveiws so I talked to Craig, the man who would eventually become my boss, and then went on my merry way. Long story short, I got the job and all was well in the world. I like to say things were fine and dandy, but if you've worked in restaurants before you know that no matter what job you have in a restaurant you know its bouts of chaos intertwined with moments of calmness. Eventually I became enthralled by the line cooks and how confident and bad ass (for lack of a better word) they seemed. And thought, "gee, this looks fun!" And while it was fun and interesting I later found out that that was TOTALLY not the care free attitude to go in it with.

Fall 2002 I enrolled at GRCC for Culinary Arts. It was fun and interesting. I met alot of nice people, a few who I keep in contact with still today and got my first look into the food industry. Right away though I felt kind of overwhelmed. I just happened to be with a bunch of students who were already cooking and live by food. And I felt kind of like the odd man out with my meager/non-existent knowledge. I didn't let it bother me until the summer of 2003 when I finally started to get trained as a Prep cook at Carrabba's. The lady training me was pretty much a bitch. While I loved her to death (and still would if I ever saw her), once training started she pretty much started acting like Gordon Ramsey (minus the throwing food at people). So that totally discouraged me so I decided to re-think cooking and more or less dropped out of school.
By this point I was already dishwashing and was continuing to dishwash. Fast forward to the winter semester of 2004. I decided to take a class in photography because it interested me. It was fun and so I decided to look into schools in the area for it to maybe continue it. Enter: Lansing Community College. I got one of their catalogs and saw that they had had a Film Production program which totally caught my eye. So I applied, got accepted, and moved to Lansing (which wasn't as simple as it sounded). I transferred to the Lansing Carrabba's and things looked up. Not so much for school, but mostly for work. Let me explain something. When you have to pay rent, utilities, a phone bill, gas, food, and of course for entertainment then making money almost has to take a priority. So school suffered, while my time at work increased. Once there I continued to work to dishwash more and more. Very early on I started to work my way into the clique of the cooks. I knew that if I could get in with them, then my chances of eventually cooking would increase. Two of my better friends there were Fabian, the KM, and his brother Gary, who was one of the cooks. Eventually it paid off because my friendship with the cooks then in turned caused them to turn around and pester Billy Ray, my boss at the Lansing Carrabba's, to let me on line. And it happened, and you know that thing I mentioned about chaoticness earlier. Yeah, that was my first day. I began to notice though that I wasn't as into it as I thought I'd be. As much as I loved the Lansing Carrabba's and people who worked there, there were too many politics. It didn't help that I was friends with a couple of the managers and I still had to fight for hours and shifts. I mean, its not like I was expecting Fabian and co to go, "Hey, we hang out with Tim, lets give him the best shifts!" It was more like when I say "Hey is there any way I could get more hours or work this day etc etc" and then get the same half-assed answers as everyone else gets (not from Fabian though), its kind of discomforting.

II. The Downward Spiral and Break
Anyway, fast forward to Summer of 2005. My ability to put up with the politics and my money had run out so I was like F-it, I moving home. I ended up getting a job at New Holland Brewing co. After the previous year at Carrabba's, and a little bit of initial drama right off the bat at NHBC between a couple of the potential managers. I totally wasn't into it. It was fun. But my mind wasn't into it. So September 2006, I got as job at Mark Maker and for the first time in 5 years I wasn't employed by a restaurant. Then something happened. More and more I started cooking for myself. I started enjoying it. At the same time, I started feeling socially awkward. The social quirks/situations I found myself in weren't the same as in the food industry. No longer was it okay for me to stay up to the wee hours in the morning and then sleep in till an hour before my shift. No longer did "Go F**k yourself" mean "Why of course I'll help you....and I love you" to someone. Granted I got an actually lunch break and rediscovered weekends. But it just wasn't the same

III. The Reinvigoration
Then one day I came home and turned on the TV and Top Chef was on. I had previously been watching Kitchen Nightmares online and had gotten a brief re-interest in working in the industry. The prize for the Quickfire prize was a book (I THINK it was Letters to a Young Chef). I looked up the book on Amazon and wasn't into the book. But then under the "People who bought this book also bought" recommendations I saw Kitchen Confidential. I bought it, read it, then read it again. And I was hooked. Among all the chaoticness and stress, Bourdain had reaffirmed what turned me on to the industry. The sense of accomplishment, the dysfunctional family feeling, and confidence one gained from it. From that point on, I was totally re-turned on to it. After some initial hesitation I also decided to go back to Culinary school.

IV. The Crash and Burn
Thus began the road to a journey which didn't really begin until June 18,2008. After a couple of months of applying for cooking jobs I had an interview and subsequently got hired. From the interview I knew it would be demanding and would be a challenge, which is totally what I was looking for. Only I didn't know how much of a challenge and how demanding it would be. You know that chaoticness I keep bringing up...yeah, there was a lot of that. And while there was some leniency to the fact I hadn't worked in the industry for a while but after a week or so they didn't have that luxury to give me anymore. The restaurant had only been open a month was still in the "hey we're a new and unique restaurant with AUTHENTIC British and Indian (as in the country India) food" rush and were expecting people who were on the top of their game. Unfortunately that wasn't me. Coming back to restaurants after 2 years away was a culture shock. I kept making minor mistakes on things and although I did okay on salads, any attempts to get me on the hot stations was a disaster. I could point fingers as to various reasonings (a couple which are valid....kinda) as to why it totally wasn't my fault but I was reading the writing on the wall. The feather that broke the camel's back was one day when I came in and shortly after punching in getting an order from a fruit cup. I was in the midst of madly restocking the line and pre-making a few of the cold apps and without thinking about it (or checking it) I grabbed a fruit cup and put it up. And as luck would have it, it had something that was slightly brown in it.
My boss totally got on my case about it and how I wasn't on top of things and need to "own my station" and went on to pull apart my station. He pulled aside numerous things which he didn't like, some which were my doing, some which were others. But since I was there I got the bulk of the grief. Also he found something which was out of date which required a huge amount of prep so he had to pull a few people off line to help. After that was all taken care of the rest of the night went okay.
The next day I came in and kind of had a feeling of what was to come. I noticed that both of the prep people were at the salad station, and that the normal morning salad person was in dish. After talking to her I found out that chef had come down on her too and he punishment was a pretty much permanent demotion to dish. I started prepping salads until chef and one of the managers pulled me out to the dining room. The talk was pretty much what you expected "things aren't working out...blah blah blah...you put up bad food....blah blah blah....you don't seem to be picking things up....blah blah blah...you almost ran out of stuff the night before causing us to pull people off the line (although he forgot to mention that when the morning person asked if he wanted her to stay to finish prepping that stuff he told her to leave)...blah blah blah." So yeah, essentially I got fired. I went back to the kitchen told a few people and then left

V. The Aftermath
Surprisingly I wasn't that mad. I knew I had f'ed up and this industry isn't one you can afford to make any mistakes. After going out to my car, I sat there for about 15 minutes taking it in. Then shrugged and went my merry way. I called my partner in crime, Lindsay to see what was up and hung out with her all day. I spent the next couple of weeks focusing on school. And now I'm finally back in the grind of looking for a cooking job. Where will it take me, who knows. But I'm ready for the chance to have my time in the trenches

So, it begins

2008-09-10T23:12:00.000-04:00

My name is Tim and I’m a cook. Well that’s a lie. I’m technically not a cook. Right now I’m unemployed for making a few minor mistake as a cook. And in a case of wrong place, (super) wrong time I made them when the owner of the restaurant was getting on the chef’s case about labor costs. And I was a casualty of that, most likely due to the fact that the chef couldn’t take the extra time to train me. Ok, so maybe I missed something that was kind of major. It wasn't fully my fault, but my failure to miss it also played a factor. But since I'm writing this blog, this is the last it will be mentioned....ha

So yeah, I’m unemployed, but I still think of myself as a cook for 2 reasons. 1) I’m going to school for culinary arts so in theory I should be getting a new job as a cook soon any way. And 2), most of my more “endearing” personality quirks are thanks to my time in restaurant work. Some other cooks have them, some don't. But belive me I'm not too different from any cook I've met

-I tend to be quite cynical at times
-I antagonize people and/or play devils advocate
-I have a major distrust/annoyance at people who seem overtly perky (I.E. like any server whos may or may not be sucking up to you to get a good tip)
-The habit of randomly grabbing small bits of edible food
- And counting it as "stuff I ate today" when my mom ask
- The fact that after a week or so, I can train my body to stay up late, sleep 5-6 hrs, wake up and go through my day like nothing is wrong
- The first pants and shirt I can find are totally viable options of what to wear out
- The idea of "going to the bar" is a totally viable option of an after work activity
- I love bartenders (which stems more from my stint as a busser than from cooking)
- my potty mouth (sorry mom)
- the fact I can cut or burn myself and not let it phase me
- the usage of a certain
- In the food industry, telling some one to "F**k Off" normally means "Why of course I'll make mashed potatoes for you even though the dishtank is overflowing with dishes! And I love you too!"
- I'm used to vacation's being 1 or 2 days off and nobody noticing I was gone

Yeah, most people think people in the food industry are crazy. But there are many things that "normal" people can relate to and appreciate. In the right setting, you form a dysfunctional family type of bond with your fellow cooks/dishwashers/select members of front of the house who you like. You see theses people just as much if not more than your family, so its expected. Also it builds self confidence and self esteem. Theres a small line between being cocky and being self confident. Many kitchen types straddle that line. But its needed. You have no time to question yourself (which I admit, I tend to do ALOT). So its needed.

But to get back on track, my name is Tim. Most people call me Timmy. I have one or two other nicknames which I'll get into later. I like to think of myself as a cook and hope to come to at least garner more of the positives aspects of it. This is my crappy blog. While most my attempts at multiple blogging has failed, I hope this one will succeed. I’m going to try to document whats going on with out having it relegate in to “I did this, then I did this, then I did this” and try to relate my feelings, thoughts, well-thought out ramblings, and things I find interesting.

When I originally came up with the grand scheme to make this blog, I wanted to focus more on my life as a culinary student and hopefully soon to be cook. But now, I’m just going to focus on life in general. Cause eventually life will be affected by culinary school and my hopeful soon to be job. And like one of my former co-workers at my former place of employment pointed out, eventually it will get to the point where the main people you hang out with are cooks anyway. So thats life.